Reviews for Shattered Bonds
SparkyDapperDab19 chapter 1 . 8/19
Ok. Some comments have claimed this to be shit... they are right to an extent. I will say the scenario is a mix between cliche and creative. Your not using the transcript scandal, which is good, yet having yang jump to conclusions has been done to death in rwby fanfic. Having ruby be the catalyst for his betrayal has a certain flare, but falls flat in this regard. Which leads me to the main issue, the pacing.
Never have I said in reaction to a fic “well that escalated quickly” as fast as this one. It was way to fast and the scenes throughout the story felt like outlines at most which made everyone really 2 dimensional. You definitely had passion put into this, considering the word count and your enthusiasm in you AN, but understanding story elements that are too cliche and good pacing are essential to writing a fulfilling story.
To end this long winded review, I will say that I like the idea of a jaune and Salem romance. Harem as well along with the angst and edge you put into it. One piece of advice that will help with the previous issues is to savor those amazing moments with detail. Alright that’s all that I got.
Guest chapter 3 . 8/19
More! Can't wait to see when Ruby and Jaune meet.
jamesoagel123 chapter 1 . 8/16
I love how no one saw the drag jaune to the locker room other then pyrrha
jamesoagel123 chapter 3 . 8/16
You dick I love you mind broken cinder is the best
Guest chapter 3 . 8/8
Is this gonna be one of those hallucinating things with blake
SaucyHandles chapter 2 . 8/2
lol so edgy.
Guest chapter 3 . 7/30
dear writer please make more chapters
Guest chapter 3 . 7/26
dear writer please make more chapters
Blackopsmaster chapter 3 . 7/26
I like the story. Great work. I would like to see more updates
sames chapter 2 . 7/26
Not bad...
The story had to much of a fast pace. It was alot to take in but I love the concept. If you ever do a rewrite and improve the pacing it be way more enjoyable :)
await your next update!
Guest chapter 3 . 7/21
dear writer please make more chapters
Guest chapter 3 . 7/16
I'm sorry but this story is shit. Why would Blake, Yang and Weiss still be huntresses if they "murdered" Jaune? Also wouldn't Pyrrha be just as responsible for Jaune's "death". Also really you made Yang still in the right were she thought Jaune was "raping" Ruby?
Grademaster chapter 3 . 7/10
Look, I'm just going to be straight with you. The fic is terrible. Utterly horrible. Nobody ever explains their reasons for anything. Salem revived Jaune and he's just like "sure. Let's get married to the literal devil." Cinder I can understand. Getting turned on by power is something I can see her doing. But everything just goes so fast really. There's no details involved in any of this. It's just one thing after another with OOC charactersRWBY, Jaune, Salem, and somewhat Cinder), a thrown together plotline, and not a detail for the eye to see. The only reason I can think of that this has so many favorites is that Jaune is evil in this fic and that's pretty rare. If you want to try getting better, at least by my point of view, you should add more details and pace yourself more. A more cohesive plotline wouldn't hurt either.
Grademaster chapter 1 . 7/10
Uh... I just started this fic but... What the duck just happened? What was that prank, Ruby? What even was that? And why was your team standing at the door? Why did they not even give Jaune the chance to explain himself? The hell?! ... Well I'm still going to read the fic but that was... Not the best way to start the story. At all.
Gabrielbrooks chapter 3 . 7/10
Cliffhangers and ominous as fuck
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