Reviews for Burning Ashes
Slytherwitch chapter 14 . 1/21/2019
Oh my god this was so good!
I really enjoyed Everett and Fallon's dialogue. The two of them are great together.
sevenzeroseven chapter 13 . 1/9/2019
I've caught up! That sucks. At least you're coming out with another chapter and I have something to look forward to!

That being said, for my final review of the night... It's 11pm and I have yet to do anything else. AND I HAVE TO REVIEW DIVIDED TOMORROW. Though I fear even if I did, Kay might just be like 'rip, I hate my story' which would be the worst possible outcome. Best would be she writes and her hands remain beautifully unhurt! Okay, this has already turned into me shading Kay now. But, it worked on you so... XD

Octavia back at it again with the angst. However, I don't feel emotional attachment to Eleanor just yet, so it's just me blanking reading with a dead look in my eyes as she cries her eyes out XDD This also sheds some uncomfortable insight on Jonathan. He used to be nervous like Cal and then I guess he just sold his soul to politics and began beating Ev? Excuseeee meeee, I'm going to need to check those facts real quick.

SIS, HOW IS IT NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. CELIA REALLY OUT HERE OBSERVING EVERYTHING LIKE SHERLOCK HOMES IN .5 SECONDS AND THEN BEING LIKE 'hehe, I'll stay quiet' EGADS, I CAN'T.
In her defense, her reason is 'good' but also not? OMG, I WILL FOREVER STAN THE GIRL WHO DISCOVERS EV BEING BEAT TO SHIT AND FUCKING SQUARES UP AGAINST THE KING

Besides that, Cal is so cute! "can we talk again" OF COURSE YOU CAN. NO WAIT- this is how he gets you! with the stuttering and then the sejf slf jlsjkf

anyways, I like how you wrote Celia's POV because you really broke down how she thinks and how someone would really make that judgment.

Ah yes, the lesbian lovers- Isla and Bella. A pairing I did not expect, but would honestly ship if they both didn't seem like alpha females lmfao. Okay, I actually genuinely like Bella now? Not sure when that happened. I feel like her mannerisms and behavior feels very real, so I just feel attached to her. Still don't support her and Ev, sorryyy. Stay woke, you guys

Lena is really trying to mark her territory, someone get her to back off? freaking yeet that girl out of a third-story window, idk. It'd be great if that could happen because she is definitely not getting any more likable and it's becomin m.

I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOUR NEXT CHAPTER LIKE EVEN IF IT'S SO CHILL AND IT'S LITERALLY JUST EV CONTEMPLATING WHAT SOCKS TO WEAR, I AM THERE FOR IT, I SUPPORT YOU BOO
sevenzeroseven chapter 12 . 1/9/2019
I really respect Fallon. She's able to see both sides of the situation even though Magdalena is genuinely an ass. I liked how you included many of the girls in this chapter and how they chose their things together. Ultimately, I'm liking a lot of the girls, it's just some of their 'fierce' traits blend together and so do the castes unless another character points it out.

Anise's reason is legitimately a good reason to be there and Kalee floundering is a mood, tbh. I feel like Kalee has a very good chance of ending up with Cal at this point, but I also feel that one of the girls will find out and possibly sabotage them. Or, that's what I'm hoping. I'm not sure why I wish this on myself, tbh.

Also, DAMN CAL. You're really out here taking hearts left and right! Okay, well only one heart. But, still! For one nervous boy, he's out here flashing smiles and all this stuff oml, any girl would be like 'yess, I would like one of those please' tbh. What a snake, he stutters all cutely to get your attention and then snatches you for a real one lmao.

Anyways, I like how you included the anthem. Just adds to the atmosphere of the story.
And Barton. Sigh, Barton.

First off, YIKES. I say that a lot, but it's true. Photoshopping him and Bella together? Not cool and not smart in the long run. I mean, it does draw a parallel to the characters, but my dude, Barton, Report host is a pretty good job. Would suck to lose it.

Nova to the rescue. Ev and Fallon were really out there with their asses roasting on an open flame like marshmallows. I admit, when I first read that scene, I thought 'huh, she basically just invited him back to her room lol' and here we are now. I'm telling you, I'm psychic or something.

Everett trying to do damage control and the sentence 'girls scurring in all directions' made me laugh. I mean, it felt real. Like the girls were legitimately panicked and everything. Their individual behaviors were interesting to see as well.

Ev tries to do something right. It fails. He angry. He learn. He repeat.
sevenzeroseven chapter 11 . 1/9/2019
these final reviews were delayed courtesy of Milly making me panic and frantically write down my vague story idea. thank you for motivating and supporting me, but you also have scared the shit out of me. onwards!

Cal and Ev finally got their shit together. I feel slightly more stable now that they have. Cal is an actual dork and I'm still triggered he's only now apologizing because Ev had the balls to do so. But, I'm a forgiving person so, I guess it's okay T_T he's my little blueberry and I can't stay mad.

"Everett, no"

"Everett, yes"

What a gold moment lmfao. A true bro-bro relationship with Ev being the little shit he is. Am I fully behind this ship? Hmm, I will have to ponder over it while I smoke my nonexistent pipe. Tbh, still not fully convinced. I'm afraid that if Cal hasn't dated anyone before, he'll just attach to the first person that shows an interest. I mean, I'm sure it'll turn out fine either way but- in the end, I am just an unsupportive person apparently. I'M SORRY CAL

Jonathan, I do not have the state of mind to deal with you rn. Like, is Ev really a disappointment? When exactly did he start being one? I am confused? Oriana is finally standing up for Ev, wow, it only took him nearly having a concussion and barely being able to wake up for her to say something. Like, what are these mixed feelings I have for her, she's so respectable because of how she carries herself. I stan someone who leaves in a swirl of skirts, but 'tis unfortunate.

Ev needs to be evacuated immediately istg
sevenzeroseven chapter 10 . 1/9/2019
lmfao, Jonathan calling Everett 'boy' repeatedly makes me crack up. It's somehow less intimidating than if he were to simply say 'Prince Everett' or something like that. Also Jonathan is also a dumbass, I guess that the apple does not fall far from the tree (still love you, Ev). Tbh, beating him up just causes more problems in the long run. It's better to just manipulate him smh.

WHY IS NOBODY DOING ANYTHING. THIS ENTIRE FAMILY IS MESSED UP. CAL YOU HOE, YOUR BROTHER JUST GOT HIS ASS KICKED, AT LEAST SAY SOMETHING NICE ISTG

I am crying at this point wth. AND LOOK WHAT THIS PLUM DOES, HE GOES ON A DATE WITH BELLA. The crying has turning into sobbing at this point. Fuckkk.

I literally have no words. Like, I like Bella and I'm glad she played along briefly. But this moment i le. SHE DOESN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING ONCE THEY'RE ALONE FUCK ME. DO YOU SEE THOSE BRUISES OR NOT

'hey what are those bruises'

'my dad beats me'

'holy shit we should do something about that'

'shit you right, lemme just overthrow him real quick. thanks for the emotional support that I've never once had before since everyone ignores what happens to me'

'no problem. i actually have the common decency to say and do something haha, isn't that surprising? anyways, let's get hitched'

done. burning ashes is complete. it's obviously not that easy but wahhh. I can't even comment on the writing or anything else because I am emotionally distressed oml. FUCK.
sevenzeroseven chapter 9 . 1/9/2019
Aw, poor Cara. It sucks that Josie did a 180 in attitude. I can understand being upset by not getting picked, but completely shutting Cara out isn't fair. Her debating on how to write the letter was an endearing scene.

Uhm, wth? Where did all these nasty maids come from? Excuse me? Service with a smile, much? Take a step back. I have no idea who Anise is (lmao) but I will pile drive all three of you into the ground for being like that. It's either another girl that bribed the maids to make her feel like crap (cough, Lena) or they really just went off on her for no reason. Either way, I would have requested new maids asap, snatched Ev's heart (or Cal's if you know what I'm saying, wink wonk) and then when I'm Queen or whatever, I'd freaking fire their asses like the petty bitch I am. Just a suggestion, Anise.

Celia lowkey strategizing is what I live for. Take those techniques, flip that hair, yess. And Lynn being all helpful and nice. And Lena once again being an absolutely unfortunate person. t, get yourself together and kick her out. Will he listen? No. Why? Because he is fictional and also a dumbass. And yet, I will support him T_T
sevenzeroseven chapter 8 . 1/9/2019
OOF, I'm a girl and I forgot how girls can get when it comes to complimenting each other. And yay! Maggie! Goth dress? YAY AGAIN. Stef also reminds me of myself, oof yet again. I would totally be that person that tries to make people laugh but just gets roasted for it. However, I'm guessing that she was specifically called out because she's a lower caste.

OH! This is coming out of left-field but I forgot to mention in your last review that Belladonna was written really well (even if she's not my character, ha) and I'm going to also link that to her similarity to Everett.

Okay, back to the current chapter. BAD EVERETT! I am wedging myself between you and Bella, no go. No cigarettes or unhealthy drinking or unhealthy state of minds. I see your attachment and I refuse. I will admit, that the playful 'go away, Bella' was really cute oml.

RIP Maggie. I too suffer from the young-looking face. It's okay, it'll pay off when we're older and still looking fresh. Fallon! She was pretty bold ngl, I'd like to think I'd be that bold in a Selection but nope, that would not happen lol. And I guess Ev does have a type, let's just hope that type also includes 'mentally and emotionally healthy' because this boy desperately needs it.

And he's about to try and fight me rn for keeping in Lena- what are you doinggg. She's a snake and not in the good way, wah. Well, at least that's more drama and it's not like he's doing anything bad by keeping her in.

CAL AND KALEE AWWW. Is this the ship to end all ships? Or will someone swerve out of left field and crash into it at the last second, drowning the ship and making a new one out of the ashes like a phoenix (omg burning ashes, I'm so cool) that turned really dramatic, but idk, I like unpredictable ships XD I'll have to warm up more to this one but nerd couples are cute couples

okay, also, the little descriptions you have that other characters observe are really nice such as Kalee looking at Cal as he talked and describing his eyes. It just adds more depth and I enjoy it very much.
sevenzeroseven chapter 7 . 1/9/2019
Bella Female Ev?
I like how you showed her first swell up with the enthusiasm from the crowd but then step back once she makes a slight mistake, it's a very realistic action - especially for this particular character - and it gives you insight into how her mind works. Not sure if I personally like her, I'll most likely honestly like to dislike her. Wow, lots of likes in that sentence.

Another thing I liked was the descriptions you added to her physical appearance. Too often, authors use actual descriptions of characters like - they had brown eyes - as opposed to - her shirt was wrinkled - which you used and is what I prefer since how they keep up their appearance is more important imo. Am I going too deep with this? Probably

Holy crap, Leonie reminds me of myself since I'm basically exactly like that offline. Always talking and bouncing around, though maybe not in front of people I don't know well. Don't usually ask too many questions either, ha. Anyways, makeovers! Everyone always gets their hair trimmed and stuff (I'm guilty of that), so I'm wondering if there'll be any drastic changes in this Selection or not. Also, it's cute that she tried to sit up like Oriana.

D'aww, Ev is nervous! How cute! I mean, obviously since it's a life-changing event going to happen. Oriana helping him get ready is also cute, I've briefly forgiven her for her sins of not protecting my little plum. Cal and Ev clearly need brotherly bonding, I suggest going out into the woods and shooting a duck together. JK SAVE THE ANIMALS

I'm offtopic again. Cal is probably nervous too, so I'm curious as to how he'll react with the girls around. If Ev is a little plum, he's like a little blueberry. Don't know where the food correlations came from. Offtopic yet again. Anyways, Oriana's ability to control Everett and also her regality is very respectable and I definitely understand why the citizens like her. Can't wait for the emotional mess that is the Schreaves to bumble about once more.
sevenzeroseven chapter 6 . 1/9/2019
I should have mentioned this when I first started reviewing but I love the title and summary of this story for no particular reason. It really stands out to me.

Eleanor seems like a bad bitch and I'm here for it. Like yes, get that petty revenge on your schoolmate and yes, sign those autographs! Abusive count goes up to four! Wowzers; boyfriend, overseer, parent, previous boss. I choose to stan.

RIP Lynn, I felt that in my soul. Expecting something nice only to get let down once again. Not sure how to feel about her just yet, but her father-daughter relationship seems cute.

Sterling stands out because she's mute, but I'm also hoping there's more to her than that and I'm sure there is! She at least seems weet and the brief intro from the girls was interesting, particulary Sanju. I'm just going to yeet myself over to the next chapter. God forgive me for saying yeet myself, but yeah.

I haven't peeked but I hope Ev is there because your writing is more apparent when you're writing characters you're comfortable with and I'm obsessed with it.
sevenzeroseven chapter 5 . 1/9/2019
This will be your hundredth review on BA! I'm taking the honor, obviously ;)
Congrats~ you deserve it!

Wowowwow, Fallon and Maggie are the epitome of healthy, awesome sibling relationships. coughcough Cal and Ev should take notes but ig they're excused because they live in a terrible household coughcough

AND I called it. Wham, I like Fallon a lot! My dad was a mechanic so she's even a girl after my own heart tbh. Sorry not sorry. Other girls, step it up.

Um, oh? Magdalena's relationship was not what I was expecting lmfao. Will admit, I'm truly flustered. At first, I thought it was like Lorelai is using her but it doesn't seem like that? I guess they really are just devious fuck-buddies. Uh, I guess I stan? I a e. I'll just slide on over to the next girl for now...

Honestly Celia is a mood. She wants to bathe in shiny coins and jewels, tbh what I would do if I was Queen. And I was right again! Number of abusive people goes up to three! I like Celia, her natural relief from becoming a Three felt pretty realistic and despite her being a previous abused maid, she felt more real than some of the other girls. I'm not sure why? It just be like that sometimes.

'I'm so sorry if you're getting really overwhelmed by how fast I'm updating' - Octavia

never thought I'd see that. HA, just kidding. I know you're writing now, just had to shade you a little bit more because I thought that was funny. XD
sevenzeroseven chapter 4 . 1/9/2019
There are names being thrown around, omg. I relate with Everett, like same? The names will be hard for this boy to memorize, I doubt he even remembers all the names of the girls he's slept with lmao

I'll just talk about the girls that really stood out to me and Everett and let the rest vaguely fade into the background until I see more of them.

First off, Everett, the self-deprecation is not okay. s t o p. I'm sure you're positively ooey and gooey on the inside. It is clear to see Everett is a mama's boy, ha. I'm guessing it's because she's really kind to him, but so is Cal? I guess Ev's just mad that Jonathan doesn't beat the crap out of him too.

And that's good because if anyone touched Cal, I would full-on transform into some sort of ungodly creature. Okay, anyways-

I checked and literally all the girls I was like - oh they sound cool - WHOMP they're your filler characters that won't win XD. Belladonna sticks out the most simply because of her description and that she may be similar to Everett which is basically another person I probably won't support because of the similarities, wuh-oh. It'd be funny if one actually won because I'd just be left in the dust like 'oh' and I do see the potential that the girls could learn and grow with Everett but at the same time nahh (if that even makes sense? I'm pretty sure I'm delirious)

And also Fallon because the girls that go unnoticed are usually that ones that should be noticed and while her caste may come into play, I'm suree it'll be fine.

OKAY NEVERMIND EVERETT IS NOT GOOEY, EVERETT YOU FAILURE. ok you're not a failure but ugh, you really got to do that to my main man.

Tbh, both of them really bring up good points. People that are aware that Everett is being hit aren't excused from simply turning away just because he can be rude and lash out. Him lashing out probably relates to him being hit, just saying. To nobody in particular. It's not like I can talk to the characters but you know what it's the thought that counts.

And like I stated earlier, Everett just casually brushes off Oriana ignoring his abuse too? Excuse me? Am I going insane? Why am I so invested in this? I am having a conflict of interest. Oriana is clearly the only one with good sense and power over Everett (like what a power move to prevent Everett from getting alcohol) Also, don't casually threaten to cane people Everett. Not cool. Still love you tho.

Yikes though. That's all I can say at this point XD. These girls have no idea what they're getting into. It's a good thing nobody knows too much about the Prince because I'd honestly check out if I heard about his rep, sorry boo and signing up for that emotional baggage and trauma? He deserves the love and affection but the future winner must have a mind of steel to get through this.
sevenzeroseven chapter 3 . 1/9/2019
okay, Alistair and Maggie are adorable, I stan. Their sibling relationship is goals and I can't relate. And she likes stargazing? How cute. I wish I could see the stars in my town. It's all pollution up in this place, lmao. I'll have to see how she is in further chapters but there's potential for me to like her :o

Kalee didn't really stand out as a character because she was basically 'I don't want to, but I guess I will for my mom' and there's not much else I could see from that. Maybe she'll impress me in the future? who knows

At Della and Isla, I thought, aw cute friendship but then Della calls out Isla real-quick. That actually went from zero to one-hundred. I guess she can relate to Everett's problems but at the same time, that's probably why I wouldn't support her to win just yet.

Cara and Josie are also adorable too. That's two abusive people so far, hoping that count doesn't up as I read on but I'll say it's 50/50 chance. Their little family and hopes and dreams felt very real to me personally and I hope to see more of Cara one on one to get more of a feel for her.

I will say I'm not sure if I like the multiple POVs or not just yet, I'll have to see. Each scene has different feels so I'm just going to chug onwards. I'm curious to see how you handle it in later chapters. It's interesting because I've read your newer pieces and your writing has changed :o

pause on the spam reviews because dinner but I'll be back :*
sevenzeroseven chapter 2 . 1/9/2019
actually, him stepping out of line is something I support because that's a genuinely good answer to the question. Jonathan obviously wants to square up, he can meet me in the back alley behind Taco Bell and I'll thrash him.

I honestly relate because I'd definitely want to eliminate like 60% of the contestants immediately most likely, ha. Oriana still being questionable but also likable since she's clever and trying to whoop Everett's ass into shape.

I mean, he didn't lash out at Cal or anything, so I guess that's a step up. The brother-to-brother dating advice was strange in a good way? Like, it made me laugh because Everett does not seem like the best person to go to. XD

I still stan Everett, he's nervous and that's understandable. He doesn't deserve the emotional stress he's under rn. T_T

Anddd I'm excited to meet the girls. Who will be the leftovers Cal can pick through? Who will potentially fix Everett's mess of a life? I'll probably have favorites from the get-go only to have my ships sunk and drowned terribly because it seems like something you'd do idk.

my reviews might lowkey be nonsensical because it's basically my stream of thought so yeah. your writing is stil and tbh I'm sure it's going to be good for the next eleven chapters but I'll say it in every review to Motivate you because I'll want another chapter when I finish thi t
sevenzeroseven chapter 1 . 1/9/2019
Beginning of my spam reviews!

Ahem, yes. All I can say is that Cal can actually take my life and soul. Sweet boy, I will shower you in love. Everett better shape up and be The Best Older Brother in the next few chapters or I will fight him.
Like Everett, do you not see this boy's nervousness and anxiety? Open your eyes, CAL NEEDS YOU.

ALSO, Everett you masochistic hoe. I also want you to have all the love in the world, you're just really stressing me out here and it's only the first chapter. I want to see how he is when he's not, like, angry. Ah yes, happy is the word. I don't think Everett knows what that is. And rightfully so, he has a pretty bad situation here and Jonathan can actually be rammed by stampeding bulls for hurting him. When did this behavior start? Why does Jonathan do this? Even more important, why does ORIANA JUST LET IT HAPPEN?

Like, I know she probably has no choice or whatever and I normally love gentle characters, but ? Hello? Your baby is being abused. You can't just stroke his thumb and make that go away. Lmao, this is only the first chapter and I'm so emotional, why.

I'd like to declare you an official liar because your writing is gorgeous. It's simplistic but still descriptive, without too much verbiage getting in the way. I can perfectly imagine the scene taking place and you do a very good job at showing the emotions each individual character has during it.

omg, all my reviews are going to be overanalysing rip but this is so good. again you are a liar, ok now onto the second chap
cupofcakes chapter 13 . 11/24/2018
Thank you for featuring Eleanor’s POV in this chapter! This makes me so happy! I’m happy she has Maggie to share friendship with. Celia and Cal seemed great together! Celia seemed to understand things very quickly. She’s a good observer! I hope Magdalena won’t give too much trouble for Bella and Isla. I love their characters!
139 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 6 .. Last Next »