|Reviews for pockets full of leaves|
| Keleri chapter 1 . 4/29
This is great, you imply a lot with a small amount of worldbuilding and it's really effective and haunting.
There are a couple places where the thesaurus might have led you astray; "strop of pain" only has 1 result on google and it's your story, haha. Try "a bit", "a hint", "a suggestion", etc.
| St Elmo's Fire chapter 1 . 4/17
Hi! I’m doing a round of reviews around the site, hoping to help give people constructive criticism instead of just vague appreciation or flames. If you do choose to take my advice I will be glad, but you don't have to feel like I'm making demands of you. I usually try to point out things that could help with future stories, so they can be useful even if you don’t want to edit the current story. Feel free to disagree with my interpretations and don’t be afraid to let me know why. I will be pointing out grammatical errors as well; please understand that I am not trying to be judgmental, but that I honestly believe corrections can improve the story.
I appreciate that you’re not capitalizing pokemon.
[being smarter than the average Ursaring]
You did so here, though.
It’s a bit confusing to use horizontal lines for scene breaks if you also use them to distinguish author’s notes, as it can look like the notes are part of the story. Unfortunately, FFN strips a lot of symbols, so better scene breaks are hard to find.
[Pallet Ruins (Town, that belligerent child in him said, it's still a town it's just not on the map anymore as one.)creaked louder]
There should be a space at the end of the parentheses here.
Wow. This is incredibly bleak, beautiful, and haunting. Even though you give us only the slightest hints and suspicions towards the state of the world, I’m totally drawn in. I am still confused about some details, though, like what’s going on with Silver. Is this based on a particular setting, or did you just invent this world state for this fic?