Reviews for Kokoro no Naka
Youshiie chapter 28 . 3/21/2008
Wow, I absolutely LOVE this story! Unfortunately, I'm stuck, I cant view chapter 28! I tried your link and I'm just not getting it, it keeps on saying it cant find that page! I will skip over the chapter if I have to but I really want to read it! If you could, I would love it if you could e-mail me the chapter: If not, I completely understand and this story is the best story EVER! Your absolutely amazing!

-Youshiie

P.S: No matter what I'm reading till the end: This is great!
YamiHikariSakura chapter 18 . 3/13/2005
There is a peice in this chapitre, when Mokuba was just beaten by Ryou at DDR, where the names deviate.

Malik glared at the little imp. "No way in Hell."

"Well, Ryou, you won, so it’s your turn to challenge someone," Mokuba pointed out, stepping down. "I’ve gotta find Joey anyway."

"Joey’s here?" Ryou asked.

"Yeah."

I don't believe that at this point in time, Mokuba knows that Ryou is actually there. Is this correct?

Other then that, very well done. I cannot imagine the headache this gave you, and I feel pity for you. Good luck with the rest of your work!
Abi2 chapter 32 . 7/8/2004
I love this story. I read it all in one day. It took forever, and at some parts I was confused, but I loved it and can honestly say you rock so much!
Amarin Rose chapter 32 . 6/26/2004
Hn... *Is speechless*

I bow before your greatness, I truly do. This is, quite possibly, one of *the* best Yu-Gi-Oh fics out there. You were definitely spot-on with calling this a 'book'. Change the names and take away any Yu-Gi-Oh references, and you could sell this.

I'd buy it. And that means something these days, when all novels are at least 6.95 American dollars.

Can't wait to read more stuff by you; hope the 'From the Beginning' trilogy goes well.
happy yaoi lover2 chapter 32 . 3/26/2004
just an thought...but is there gona be an sequel?
ShadowWolf13 chapter 32 . 1/24/2004
you wrote one hell of a story here holy shit! I was pretty much glued to the screen the entire time and i know this is going to sound so cliche but are you going to write a sequal? I'd love it if you did. aanyways... i'm rambling this was extremely well written!
SomeoneYouKnow chapter 32 . 11/7/2003
That certainly was an interesting read...I only wish I could've spotted it before, as there's really not much to say when a story's finished. So I'll just skip the technical blurbs...

The beginning was a bit shaky, not as solid and sort of all over the place, but it got better by the first several chapters...and then it sort of stagnated, then it picked up again, but with a boatload of randomness and confusion. And it stagnated off to a bit of pointless fun, and then it ended. With chaos galore. I completely understand if I lost you somewhere...

But a suggestion or two to help you in your future works: you're very skilled in setting up dialogue, but try not to let conversations get too winded and drawn-out. Then it tends to get repetitive/confusing/etc. Another thing: try to take your time in developing characters and the storyline. It's subtle, but it shows when a writer is hurried/rushed/pressure/etc...Random point: Egypt's such a diverse and interesting place...and you never really focused on any part of it. A shame...but that's just my opinion. Pointless reminder: the official language of Egypt is Arabic, and since Ancient Egyptian really doesn't exist anymore, I'm interested to see how you think the language was like.

Did I get on your nerves a little too much? Feel free to vent/complain/sue.

;)SomeoneYouKnow
YamiCaitlin chapter 32 . 10/31/2003
Yes, I believe this review is almost a month late. Thats stupid, evil procrastination for you. And the guilt has been steadily eating away at me for not immediately showing my appreciation of your beautiful final chapter. *bows head in shame*

Its just that I... dont know.. what to say. I cant think of any words which do the final chapter, or even the story as a whole, justice. All I can tell you is that Knn is now without a doubt the best story I have ever read on FFN, (not to mention that its so far the only one ive ever been motivated enough to review!). And that i absolutely ADORED the little kavala/malik/ryou love triangle! hehehe...

AND THE ACTUAL ENDING! I got tingles down my spine! Which is probably the best sort of conclusion there is.

I dont think ive ever been so emotionally involved in a story, so its hard to believe its over... *sniffle* When i started lurking on FFN i wasnt prepared for anything this addictive. Now it feels like im saying goodbye to something very special, and i never was good at goodbyes.

So i'll end this with a thank you. THANK YOU for the incredible, heartfelt, moving journey that Kokoro no Naka has been. You have my solemn promise that i will faithfully review any new fics you decide to post on FFN. You've set the bar that all other authors on here should aspire to.

I worship you.

Now go write that damn lemon!
Kilam chapter 32 . 10/16/2003
I was second in the thanks list! I WAS SECOND IN THE THANKS LIST! *feels honored*I'll get to the point now.

*literally has tears swelling up in her eyes* That was so...beautiful. I knew that this chapter would be the end. But, right now, I feel the sudden sadness of not reading any more of this. Although I have to remember that there might be a sequel (you, meanie, evil person, keeping so many secrets) and that you will be starting other fanfics, so it's not like you're gone or anything.

I'll explain how I feel to the best extent I can. It's like you beat a video game, so you're so happy! It's like, "Yes! I did it, after all this time!" And I'll explain right now that I've never had this feeling from finishing a fanfiction. (And I've never read so many chapters in my whole life...I think. Or at least liked a story this long..~_~) Anyway, first it's like YES, but then you're covered by a depressing fog. And there's a light that tells you that there shall be more work, so I shouldn't feel this way... and I'm getting sappy so I'll shut this up.

Getting onto describing the text in this story. Yami no Bakura's response to Yami no Yuugi about the ghosts was funny, and the Ryou/Malik/Kavala was really amusing. I loved those parts. The fighting was descriptive, but I'm rather sad that Yami no Malik was controlling Mahaado the whole time...I think. They both died together, which in a way is depressing. But that fight got rid of all the time craziness, because if their past selves remained it would be weird. But, anyway, great conclusion to this 32 chaptered story!

So, I've always enjoyed the side lines as a pose to the plot development (I'm referring to the relationship development stuff). There could be an epilogue! Hehe, take up Malik's litte "World Domination" comment. Maybe it could show what happens to them, and what are Yami no Bakura and Yami no Yuugi going to be doing now... there never was a lemon for them. But I guess this was more Malik X Ryou. Oh well, it's just that I've received an obsession with Yami no Bakura X Yami no Yuugi pairings. Stupid me.

I found that at the middle characters died. Yuugi, for instance, what the hell happened to him? Heh, it's just, he's not mentioned at all. Though I don't really like him, so I couldn't care less. And Isis and Rishid, too... will Malik one day find the courage to actually face them? Heh, he might be too busy with Ryou.

The characters weren't OOC. I'd call it character development. I mean, everyone would be a little different if they experienced what they did. _~

Right now you might be wondering why I've been ranting on quite a bit. _ I figured I'd better make my longest review this one, but frankly, I don't know what one's my longest. So, I've been including pretty much everything I've thought throughout. If I was wrong with anything, you have the full authority to e-mail me. Chatting with you might be fun! Even though you're way older than me... you're the same age as my older sister, and I get along with her quite fine! I don't think I'd be shy to reveal my age..or maybe I did...I can't recall, I have a short term-memory. But I'm not revealing it in this damn thing. People could read this over...and I don't want complete strangers to suddenly know my age.

Last thing on my agenda is that I've finally posted a fanfic! Heh... Yami no Bakura X Yami no Yuugi and Yami no Malik X Malik since I hardly ever see those two pairings. I might squeese Ryou and make a triangle, Yami no Malik X Malik X Ryou, if you request it. Hell, I might do it on my own free will. So, it'd be nice if you'd check it out, and shead a review too. But, if you don't want to, that's okay.

Well, bye bye! Ja ne! I'll stay tuned; I'm waiting to see more of you! It's impossible for me to abandon you! And all that other shit.
The Man The Must Be Named chapter 32 . 10/15/2003
Man, that was a kick ass story! I didn't see it it till 4 chapters in, but everything comes to gather so well! I think that was the best way to burn a year I have ever seen! I hope to see more. Good luck! And God's Speed!
BrokenPaw chapter 29 . 10/10/2003
Hey there! Sorry its been so long since I've reviewed but between college, homework, and keeping up with my own fanfic I've been having some hard time reading everyone elses! I cant seem to get the link to the lemon to work, so would you do a loyal reviewer a major help and email to me () _ Arigato, and I cant wait for more to come out soon! This fic is one of the best I've ever read!

. Meow! ~*~ Jantra-san
blu chocobo chapter 31 . 10/9/2003
Aie! Twice the Mariks! Twice to troubles! I was shocked! Did Yami got stabbed? by Bakura's hands? No! But Yami's still alive... right?

For a second there, I almost thought Ryou got killed! *whew* Everyone's getting hurt! Ah! Forgive me for not reviewing earlier, and I haven't read the next chapter yet. *kicks the school textbooks* They get in the way!

I'll try to read the next chapter soon, but not tomorrow since I have work! (I wish there was a computer there...) I have to go to bed! Gr, I hate waking early in the morning! Great chapter! *quickly hop into bed* _
honey-musturd chapter 1 . 10/8/2003
hey!

Yours is great !

please update soon!

You wanna check out mine?

link:

. ?userid417129
MB chapter 32 . 10/6/2003
Wow... *stunned* *wipes away tears* That was so amazing... so wonderful... I don't know what to say. Since I first read Kokoro no Naka it has touched me, I don't know how but for the last months the story was a part of my life... and I don't know what to do with it finished now... but I have one major thing to say:

THANK YOU KIIRAR *hugs* FOR THIS UNBELIEVABLE GREAT STORY! I'll never forget it. I love it.
Sailor Comet chapter 32 . 10/5/2003
ah... ... that special feeling you get when you finish something... ::sits for a moment::

Heh. Anyway. It's been grand. _

Honestly I'm a bit confused as to how the Hell Ryou lived through his fight with Malik and vice versa, but that's cause I'm sleepy XP

and, yes. it was good. _ m. ::snuggles fic::

::snuggles Kiirar::

~Sam
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