|Reviews for Betrayed|
| Fantasywings7 chapter 3 . 1/12/2016
I really like your Writing style and that you alternate between different person POV, and that you use both first and third person POV, for example the first person perspective here, portraying Cathryn, very well done... , interesting to see her impression of David, told by herself in first person, I really like her and I am sad that you killed her off.
| blackpanther chapter 1 . 1/12/2016
is Sirius really married to Arabella Figg, the old cat Lady? Seems incredible...By the way, is she not a squib?
Yes, Sirius should be really sorry, his betrayal is the worst of all, as he himself was framed, ironically , by the same person... and he was an adult when it happened, and he is Harry's godfather..., as one of the map makers, he should know the map can be tampered with...
The behaviour of Harry's friends... did they not consider the imperius curse, for example? They should have pressed for Verita serum at the very least.
It is amazing that Harry is sane enough to think straight and defeat Voldy.
Interesting start but the betrayal seems totally illogical and unexplainable.
| Blackpantherprince chapter 1 . 1/12/2016
What a terrible betrayal, it still boggles my mind that Harry's friends and his godfather could betray him like that, and so easily believe his was gulity,( well, except for maybe Ron, as we see later on, but neither he did try hard enough to find the truth).
they should know he would never do something like that, Hagrid was a Close friend of Harry, and not a key person in the war, it is indeed a strange "choice" to murder him, why would Harry do that?
Your story has psychological depth, but you fail to explain the psycology/reason behind their betrayal, for example Dumbledore, he is an old and wise man, it's hard to believe that it is just stupidity, especially considering they know about Sirius imprisonement on false charges not so far back in time. As wizards they know about poly-juice, etc. Was the wizarding World somehow afraid of Harry? It is hard to believe that his friends feared him, were they jealous of him ( as Ron in the fourth book)? Cowards? Were they really that stupid, that is hard to Believe they should know Harry better. I cannot find any reasonable explanation. They have no excuse.
Speaking of Sirius, shouldn't he also know that the map could be tamered with? Like Peter, he was also one of its makers, as is Remus, for crying out loud!
| Fantasywings7 chapter 4 . 1/11/2016
Quite an interesting plot-device, to use Harry's daughter as the catalysator, making Harry deal with the wizarding world again, the later correspondence between her and Harry, who she does not know is her father until the very end, it is brilliant, quite funny!
I Love Courtney, she is a very well fleshed out OC, but since she is the main character, VERY important in the story) besides Harry himself ( and her mother, also a OC), I think you should put a " Harry Potter OC in the story description.
| Fantasywings7 chapter 1 . 1/11/2016
Poor Harry, what a terrible betrayal... everybody, maybe especially Dumbledore ( with his power) and Sirius, being his godfather and also himself previously being wrongly accused on false charges, should be ashamed of themselves, I still find it incredible that they , and Harry's friends, so easliy believed him to murder Hagrid, of all people, to be a traitor and join the man who killed his parents... they know him well enough to know that he would never do that, but it makes for an interesting, if very dark, story premise... even if it to me not fit with the canon characters, especially Sirius and Hermione, (she stood by him when Ron let him down in the fourth book) you should put a higher rating, at least T, it is quite a dark story, with adult themes... That they know him so well makes their betrayal even worse...
Interesting with a Harry who choses to live in the muggle world, don't think I have seen that before.
So, the story begins and ends with a letter from Harry to the wizarding world ( this one kind of mirrors the one in the epilogue)
| Fantasywings7 chapter 2 . 1/11/2016
I just realized that, according to your time-line, we have now reached the year, 2016, when your Harry finished his medical education and his son Michael is born, if it was real...
I like Harry's alter ego, and the idea of him as a muggle doctor. Funny that he worked at Grunnings, of all companies...
Quite an unusual take on the trope "Harry is betrayed and goes to Azkaban".
| Elton chapter 26 . 1/11/2016
Every 6 months or so I pickup this story and reread it.
Again I say fantastic story. Thanks for Sharing.
| Blackpantherprince chapter 25 . 1/11/2016
Since I see that this story was completed almost 11 years ago, I don't know if you are still reading reviews for it, but your profile was updated not so long ago, so, once again I wish to thank you for sharing a really powerfull story, it's very thoughtprovoking and I especially appreciate the phsycological depth you have put into the story, portraying Harry and the other characters, of course, especially Harry and his emotional struggle in all this, I admire his ability to finally forgive and move forward, leaving the past, even if he don't have any more contact with his former friends ( except Ron, as we see in the epilogue), he has forgiven them, as to me, forgiveness and reconcilation is not necessary the same thing, to just pick up the relationships , as nothing had happened, would be impossible.
I am glad that Ron and Harry were able to reconcile and be truly friends again, quite a refreshing twist, usually, it is Ron who is the bad guy in many stories, so I am glad that it is not the case here. However, I am sad for Sirius and Hermione, but I understand Harry, based on your portrayal of them. However, considering canon, I personally doubt they would betray Harry like they did here, Hermione with her pathos for justice, and Sirius, who himself was betrayed... it is strange that they so easily believed that he killed Hagrid, his first friend. But, when you disregard the canon, it is of course possible that people would behave like that.
I admire Harry's ability to move forward and once again engage himself in the wizarding world, even if at a distance, to get involved, to care about the world which betrayed him, and make it better, to use his position and make all these changes, to better the relationship between the muggle and wizarding world, to have the inner strenght to do that... love the introducing of Paulina Granger, Hermione's sister.
However, the killing of Harry's wife seems unnecassy cruel, and also to convenient plotwise, and I also think that you portray him as getting over his loss to quickly, it is not realistic...
I fell really sorry for Harry, to kill his wife was cruel, considering all the things he has had to endure in his life, it seems a little bit to much as a plotdevice, too easy... it would, in my mind, been a more interesting story sith his life alive, to involve her in the process, it would have taken more chapters, but been more interesting, I am glad that Harry got back to the wizarding world, but I think he would have done that even without the death of his wife, she could have been a support for him (but I think he should have told her much earlier, as his life partner, he should have trusted her with his past)...
What happended to Remus? In a way , I think Harry knew him better, had a deeper relationship with him, than with Sirius, Remus being his teacher in third year. And his owl, Hedvig , what happened to her?
| Blackpantherprince chapter 5 . 1/10/2016
Harry is generous to leave the choice to his daughter, but I Think he should tell hiw wife now, they have been married for many years, and she does not even know what he truly looks like... I can understand Harry's emotional trauma and his dilemma, but he should confide in his wife, she is his Life partner and she could be a support in all this mess, I am sure she would understand him.
Another thing, surely, there must be other wizarding shools in the World if I were Harry I would strongly consider my daugher to attend Another magical school. Actually, maybe my first reaction would not have been to leave the wizarding World, but to leave the country, but that would have become a totally different story, and I understand, that for your plot, it is vital that Courtney attend Hogwarts, now, Harry will have to deal with his past.
| Blackpantherprince chapter 26 . 1/10/2016
Thanks for a emotionally engaging story, you are a good writer, although the trope (Harry in Azkaban), is old you made quite a new take on it, by focusing on an adult (middle aged) Harry and his kids, especially his daugher ( and his family members are you own OC, though it is more than understandable that he chose to marry a muggle in this AU.) The story is very well written and moving, but also very sad, but beautiful at the same time, the ending was bittersweet... Harry is a very great man with a big heart who was able to move on eventually and forgive, it is a testimony to his inner strenght that he did not become a bitter man, that he had the strenght to move on and once more engage himself in the wizarding World... especially after his wife's death, you wrote it was a catalyst, but it could as easily have become the opposite... ironic that she was the first muggle to die at Hogwarts, that was VERY sad, to not say tragic and in my view, this story could almost be labelled a tragedy... but now Harry was able to move on, and seems to have found Peace... the Power of forgiveness... a Beautiful and bittersweet ending... but I still Think that the untimely Death of his wife was unnecessary for the plot and cruel. It is quite an adult story, one of the main characters (Harry) being middle-aged, and told on the whole from an adult perspective... in many ways a dark story, a T rating would fit better in my view.
A few thing that bugs my mind: What did Dumbledore reveal regarding Cathryn's Death? You never told us. What happened to Angela?
How could Harry's friend ( the whole society)so easily betray him? It does not make sense that he suddenly should join Voldy. Were they afraid of him? Jealous?
I know that wizards have longer Life-span, but was surprised then I learned that Dumbledore was still headmaster 18 years later, and McGonagall was still teaching, she was also quite old. What happened to Remus?
As I said, I am sad that Kathlyn died, and Harry should have told her the truth much earlier on,she was his wife I understand that he did not tell her then they met... but later, especially when his daugher started Hogwarts, he is right when he says that it was not right to hide and run, he lied to himself, and to his wife... he owed her the truth.
I am glad for the reconilation with Ron and reunion with Dobby, and the adoption of Amelia was a very nice twist... the Durselys are really terrible, to deny their own blood.
| Fantasywings7 chapter 26 . 1/10/2016
This was a bittersweet and very well written story, very moving, beautiful and sad at the same time. I love Harry's final letter to the Wizarding world, very beautiful, to me, a core message in this story is forgiveness... you paint Harry as a truly great man who was able to reconcile with his past and give his life in service to the society of a world that betrayed him, of course, his own children played a key role in that process, especially his daughter... he was truly great dad, a loving father... it's quite an unusal plot device you have used... I loved his daugher Courtney, great OC. Very well portrayed.
It is a beautiful story, but very sad too, I feel so sorry for Harry, why did you have to kill his wife? I nearly cried then I read that... it seems so unfair, after all his has been through, all his loses and hardships, why did you have kill the love of his life? I read your author's notes on the topic, and I can, in a way, understand your reasoning plotwise, but, yet, I don't agree or understand it... in a way, it's to convenient plotwise, and to me, it is unnecessary cruel. I think that you could have made Harry to come back in another way, Cathryn could have been hurt, and he would have come to Hogwarts, and eventually,he would have returned to the wizarding world, even if it maybe would have taken him some more time/more chapters to get there... since Cathryn at the time knowns who he is, I was kinda waiting a long time for Harry's "confession", the revealing of his past, the heart-to heart talk with his wife that never came, as she dropped dead just after finding out, they never talked about it, when you now had his wife to die, you could at least have made them talk at her deathbed... but, as I wrote, I think her death was unnecessary cruel. I understand Harry's reluctance to reveal his past to his famiy for so long, but at the same time, it is one of the few things about him that annoys me, your spouse is your closest partner in life, and it is not fair to you life partner to hide something of this magnitude... in a way, Kathryn did not know her own husband, maybe, if he had told her earlier, she would not have had such a shock and would not have died, but of course, it was an accident, a very tragic accident, and in real life, such things happen. I am curous though, to know what Dumbledore told Harry about her death and the stairs... I cannot recall that it was ever revealed in the story, you never picked it up again, please let me know.
The story was quite dark in a way, it was quite heavy stuff, and maybe you should put a higher rating, at least teen, because of the seriousness and dark themes, it is realistic, real life is tough and real people are no saints... you showed the corruption of poltics...
However, to me, based on the canon Sirius, Ron and Hermione, I find it a bit unrealistic that they so easily left Harry to his fate in prison, that they so quickly believed he was guilty, they knew him, how could they so easily believe that he really killed Hagrid, his first friend? I agree with another reviewer, that your Hermione only remotely resembles her canon counterpart, and Sirius, how could he so easily condemn Harry, he, who himself had been convicted on false charges? To me, far away for canon Sirius. Why did they not demand the administration of Verita Serum, at least? Sirius does not strike me as a coward, but it is your story, and the whole plot revolves around his friends betrayal. The wizarding justice system seem really stupid. And where is Remus in all this? He is mentioned a few times in passing, but in the end, you only mention Sirius ( I wished they could have reconciled fully, but I understand Harry, to him, his friends betrayal must have been worse than the actual imprisonment), Remus was also one of Harry's close friends, like Sirius, his fathers old friend and the one who taught him the Patronus charm... a kind of second godfather, quite an important canon character, and he just disappears in your story.
The story seemed a bit rushed in the end... and it amazes me that Harry had the strenght to do what he did in such a short time after his wife's death, but, as you say, you portray it as a catalyst, and Harry was a man of action... but still.. the grief..., I really feel for him, and, of course, that is a sign of a good author, that you are able to engage your readers...
Harry seems to be quite an alone man in the end ( and it is always lonely at the top), I am glad that he has his children and grandchildren around him, even if I am sad for his wife's too early death, and I am very glad that he and Ron were able to reconcile fully, and truly be friends again, and for Dobby, otherwise, Harry would have been a very lonely man.
A great story on a great man, Harry is right to abolish the right of Merlin's staff, few people are able to handle that amount of power, your Harry is one of the few. Thanks for a great, very thoughtprovoking read.
| Himanshu.99 chapter 3 . 1/10/2016
This is one of the best piece of fan fiction around and I completely love it. When I started reading it, I had not expected it to be that good I guess I was wrong.
| h3rmi0ne chapter 26 . 12/28/2015
Amazing story and a beautiful endingxx
| JuceBi chapter 26 . 12/20/2015
I really wanted to write a review and especially a thank you for this story!
Its a story to get addicted to, I read half of it yesterday evening till 3 and had to wake up at 9 today- family breakfast, 4th advent. So- yeah, I love this story- its great and really well written. I was fascinated of it the moment we (the readers) got inside in Harrys mind and saw his developement from happy-go-lucky-boy to insane with mental agny, feeling completely betrayed for more than half of his lifetime (10y-Ask 16y-David).
Kathryn coaxing him out of his shell and becoming a loving father. It was simply spoken amazing- there was so much depthand emotional agitation... It was the best fore-Christmas-present ever.
So- now I have to go and help my mother in the kitchen, but again, Thank you very much for this story, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
| xPhoenixFlamex chapter 26 . 12/1/2015
This is the best story I have read on this site to this day. I am literally speechless and there are tears in my eyes.