|Reviews for The One Before Us|
| Durotos chapter 1 . 5/14
Ah, I was hoping this would be a two-shot.
I liked this story a lot - it has a very wholesome and sweet feel to it. I like how it felt like everything was going perfectly and we as readers are thinking, "Alright, now she's going to eat dinner with him and they'll confess their love to each other or something." The fact that it's going so well to Lillian is what makes it scary. I know I've felt that way in my dating years - the fear that things are going well and that things are going to change. Even if it's a positive change, it can still be scary.
I liked the moments between Lillie and her little sister. Melanie's kind but protective watch was really sweet.
I really liked Ariel as well, and can I just say that I love that you chose that name with the marine biologist theme? :D She was a great partner for Lillie, and sometimes things are scary because you get comfortable with the way they are. I gotta say, Ariel was really mature for their age, and I'm glad that she and Lillian are still in contact.
I really liked this entry for the prompt. Super cute and super sweet! :)
| Lucy Kay chapter 1 . 4/28
This was so different and poignant. I really liked it. For a self-proclaimed unfamiliar to Lillie, I think you wrote her very well. Believable and relatable. She was really sweet.
Honestly, I loved the idea of Lillie being a little more hazy on the spectrum and giving her a past girlfriend. It really explains a lot of her behavior and aversions in the game that go beyond your everyday timidity, and it's totally head canon for me now.
My favorite thing was the way you used the elements, assigning them to the characters and their descriptions. Ariel was clearly water, and Lillie was air, and Johnny had that earthiness. He was stable and wholesome where Ariel was more freeform and adaptable. In general, I liked the way you tied the weather into your writing. Made the whole thing really cohesive and thematic. Perfect for Lillie.
Really liked this one. Nice entry! Thanks for writing!