Reviews for The Final Horcrux
Zaerienn chapter 38 . 11/15/2022
The whole idea of this story is great. It could be really phenomenal! I absolutely love the story line and all the twists. I bet people are tempted to write fanfics of your fanficBut thencrying.
While I don't mind portrayals of vulnerability and post-traumatic reactions, and I love a good angst, what you have here is an overkill. Breaking down and crying can happen but it should be used as emphasis. Your characters do it all the time without a break. Usually when you break down emotionally the next thing is becoming closed off and numb. Also when you overuse emotional scenes, they lose all the meaning. Severus cried and shaked again, and I can't bring myself to care anymore. I just want him to stop crying for a day. It's one thing when a strong character is shown having a breakdown, but another when we can never see him strong because he doesn't do anything besides crying. You called him strong but I'm less and less convinced.
LunaOrtusSolis chapter 4 . 6/14/2022
I just found this gem of a story and I’m loving it! Thank you for your creative gift of writing!
Guest chapter 38 . 6/16/2021
I just love your work ️
Buckbeak3798 chapter 38 . 3/18/2021
Wonderful ending. Thank you for this story
Buckbeak3798 chapter 34 . 3/17/2021
The conversation between lucius and Harry is written amazingly. Your writing styl in general is really good. No spelling or grammatical mistakes. The sentences are fun to read. They are formulated nicely.
Buckbeak3798 chapter 33 . 3/17/2021
Here again: you said ten horcruxes but while Harry was inside riddle that there were a lot more and he told severs even after that, that he had been a horcrux himself. It doesn't quite make sense.

Buckbeak3798 chapter 33 . 3/17/2021
OK, first of all; I really like this story. The whole idea is great and it started really good. Especially the development of Harrys and Severus' relationship. I loved reading it. I also love Brian and his Boyfriend, Ceaned or something.

Sadly sometimes there is too much talking and discussing. I understand you want to explain everything properly but it's sometimes rather exhausting to read.
Sometimes you repeat whole discussions just to describe the reaction of a certain person to the topic.

Maybe try to shorten that in the future and avoid to repeat explaining things or discussing a topic twice.
You could just say: he filled him in... Or: After explaining everything to him...
You know what I mean.

Next thing is, that the story keeps getting more complicated so try to keep explanations more simple.
And try to stay true to one version.
I discovered minor mistakes in the story. Like when you explain a sertain thing but a few chapters later state the opposite.
You once said George ist together with Angelina and once with Katie.
Also you keep breaking the rules you set up.
As I said they're minor things but sadly so many the it gets confusing an irritating.
Maybe try to set all rules of the world and how the abilities of Dragoons and Reaper work and then edit the discrepancies in the story.

Also check the facts you are taking from the book ore the movie. There are also some inaccuracies here wher the reader can't quite differentiate wether it was you're desicion to change it or if you're story is simply inaccurate there. You know what I mean?

Next thing is, that you have to stay true to the characters. I understand that you want to express their emotion but all this heavy swearing is just not fitting.
Often your characters behavior is implausible.
You saved Ron's behavior with Seamuy' story but still it's just too much.
Also how easy Harry and Severus keep breaking down and start crying.
I know their history and past and still just worrying or becoming sad is enough. You are exaggerating way to much an all their breakdowns. It's boring and implausible. Like their overreacting.

You also but them into deadly situations way to often. And I don't mean the fighting but the nearly dying of one and the other sitting their and crying and pouring theyr hearts out. It's just too much. It takes the emotion and important out of these situations because they keep coming up. I know you like writing them, it's dramatic and emotional, I do too. But you are overdoing it here and a lot of emotion is lost because of that.
Try to reduce it to the situations that are necessary to develop characters and abilities. Skip the ones that are not important for the story please.
Same goes with the time when they both know they are in love but don't think the other would like them. It's really good how you describe it but it's also too much. Just reduce it a bit.

Less is more here. That counts for all these heavy emotional situations. Not only are the character reacting too extremly but these situations also happen too frequently. It's exhausting to read it. You have to give the readers a little break to digest all these heavy situations.

But I like your story and the whole consept of it. A little editing and it could become pretty great.

I hope you don't take this too negativ. I still think you're story great or I would not have read it.


HBlove23 chapter 38 . 2/9/2021
Gods I love this book I cried I yelled I screamed I squealed gosh I felt so many emotions throughout this book it’s amazing and I even read the actual smut scenes and they were beautiful such wonderful pieces of art I hope you go on to make many many many beautiful books and please take care and get better I don’t understand a lot of what your symptoms are but I’m keeping you in my prayers
HBlove23 chapter 13 . 2/7/2021
Arrrrrrgggggh this is driving me loco sev u need to just get over it u are beautiful and Harry loves u so much
NiariaGal chapter 38 . 12/31/2020
This is for the entire story...
Its amazing and awesome. Loved how you managed the lily potter back to life part and Snape's true Persona was super cool. I also liked how compassionate harry was asking for a spell to save tom. Loved the way that severus healed at the end. its amazing and awesome again.
ZianaSue chapter 20 . 8/19/2020
I agree with your sentiments about the Hogwart's houses. However, I will always wear my Slytherin status with pride.
ZianaSue chapter 18 . 8/18/2020
don't forget the snake in Severus' dark mark called Harry dragon kin.
ZianaSue chapter 8 . 8/17/2020
what do you mean by "biro"? or is this a typo?
ZianaSue chapter 6 . 8/16/2020
no GH-7 means the 7th horcrux was created at godrics hallow. aka Harry is the 7th horcrux.
Lorde Shadowz chapter 10 . 7/10/2020
I just love that poem; always have. Thanks for including it!
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