Reviews for Star Pyre
Seta Suzume chapter 19 . 8/11/2004
For a long time I saw your story listed, but I brushed past it, not being in the right mood or feeling I did not have the time to read something so involved. Recently I was skimming through the list of Suikoden fanfics and I decided that I had the time and I would give Star Pyre a try. I am thankful that I made that decision. I really like this story. I like Aila, so I'm glad to see her in this other role, and Lulu becomes much more likable as he fills the place you have given him. I think the story is very exciting and I spend time wondering what will happen next. I would be thrilled if someday you would pick up where you left off. Regardless, thank you for giving poor me such pleasure.
Delphine Pryde chapter 17 . 12/11/2003
Very well written and detailed.
Marty78 chapter 2 . 10/21/2003
good start. i can't wait to read more
Marty78 chapter 1 . 10/21/2003
wahoo! i'm hooked.
Beamer chapter 15 . 9/20/2003
Like how the story is going so far, also enjoyed the group battle with Yuber. Keep on writin'!
K'Arthur chapter 14 . 9/13/2003
Yay! An update!

Anyway, this is another great chapter in an already strong story. It is rare that I find a well done AU, and this is certainly one of those rarities. Everyone is in character, even though they're in a different storyline, and for that you should be commended.

My favorite part was the Fubar/Borus battle. Beautiful descriptions...you write fight scenes incredibly well.

Keep it up, I'll keep reading.
All Your Base chapter 7 . 8/10/2003
Hmm...I still don't know about this one, even though I'm 7 chapters into it. Its basically just a retelling of the game with a few cast changes. The characters come off very cardboard-like-especially Leo and Percival. And no matter how pissed he is, I can't see Leo striking a child.

The dialogue isn't bad, but most of it is swiped directly from the game, so...its not yours anyway.

Hmm. I might venture further, but I'm not sure.
Aaron Nowack chapter 13 . 8/9/2003
"Did you know that your top’s too small?" Heh.

Nice to see a new chapter of this. Still reading, still enjoying, continuing to await more.
Moon Dusk chapter 12 . 7/5/2003
I reviewed your story at suikosource(angelpeach800)and was wondering what happened to it. But now I've found it_ And I like it through I was really hoping Aila would join Geddoe's crew. I love how you've done the characters in this story their so well writen its amazing. This is the best AU I've ever read. So update soon alright I'm looking forward to more chapters.-
K'Arthur chapter 1 . 6/23/2003
You have great authority as an author, and this is very important when doing an Elseworld story. You have me convinced in these few paragraphs that Lucia is dead and the game I spent 80hrs playing never happened. Be proud of this. It is a hard feat to complish!

Now some notes:

1. Chop your author's notes down or put them in a different file. Keep the disclaimer, but the rest of it you really don't need. Your story can stand on its own. You shouldn't justify to your reader why you are doing such and such. Have confidence!

2. Stick with one POV unless you use a break or chapter change. The two internal thoughts-one by Lucia and the other by her killer-are confusing juxaposed. I'd say drop his...its kind of weak anyway.

3. Nice description of Lucia's clothing-the red suits her better is good character work and detail.

4. Why the italics at the end? I couldn't figure that out.

Overall, well done. I'll keep reading.
Draconicality chapter 7 . 6/7/2003
Here I need to comment, kinda. I didn't really understand the whole deal with Aila and Sgt. Joe meeting the Saint Loa Knights until I re-played Hugo's chapter 1 once more. THEN I met up with them and went to North Cavern! JOY~! *cough cough* Well, now I get it _; and have recognized this review as utterly pointless, but hey...
Aaron Nowack chapter 11 . 5/31/2003
Still reading, still enjoying. By now, you should know the drill. ;)
CF chapter 10 . 5/25/2003
I have always found AUs and "what if" scenarios fascinating. Exploring what might have happened to stories and characters if circumstances had been different can make for very good fics if well-written. This story is very well-written, and I am looking forward to reading the rest of it.
Asuka chapter 10 . 5/24/2003
I just wanted to say that I've been reading this story since you started writing it, and that the AU is wonderfully executed while keeping everyone in character. It's been a fascinating read so far.

This story's on my favorites list. Do keep writing, please. o.o;
Aaron Nowack chapter 10 . 5/24/2003
So, three stars down now. Let's see... Lulu will fill Luce's or Hugo's, I assume. As for Lucia's... I wonder if you're planning on bringing in Pesmerga - didn't he have that Star in the first two games? Though that assumes you plan on still having 108 Stars...

As always, I look forward to reading more.
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