|Reviews for Death Parade of a Benevolent Overlord|
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/11/2018
Ainz is still a good person after all.
| Hydrangea Wine chapter 1 . 5/10/2018
This has the potential to be a better story than other Harry Potter / Overlord crossovers. I have seen authors try to write Harry Potter as the guild master of Nazarick, or try to make him out to be some absurdly powerful and OOC being. This disappoints Overlord fans because of our love of Ainz as the leader of Nazarick and how any attempt to remove Ainz from being the most powerful force in his given world goes against every plot we have enjoyed in Maruyama's work.
Here, you have instead made Ainz take on a (probably) fatherly role, which is a role Overlord fans like seeing him in, and so far have not hinted at making Harry (or in this case his female twin) some absurd OP being that would give JK Rowling nausea over how meta breaking the character is to Potter canon.
I hope that you keep up this good work, and refrain from making this genderbent Harry too powerful. In fact, in the situation you have set up, there are some fan theories that would argue that people outside of Nazarick would not be capable of learning Yggdrasil type magic (mostly because of people lacking the Yggdrasil system in the Potterverse, and the lack of Ouroboros' use). Following this, it would be interesting if Ainz learns the magic from the Potterverse in an attempt to teach it to his new child.
As far as shipping goes, I hope you don't ship anyone with Overlord characters. The individuals from Nazarick have not shown any interest in such things unless relating to fellow creations of the Supreme Beings or the Supreme Beings themselves. This is doubly so if any ship is made with my waifu Shalltear Bloodfallen (!). Of course, though, please do as you wish with your story.
As for some criticisms, I believe you need to make clear the changes to given scenes. For instance, after Ainz sends his Shadow Demon to talk to Albedo and Demi, it is at first unclear, when the two Guardians begin to speak, if they are physically present or projecting their voices somehow. Please don't take this the wrong way, but it would be better if the reader doesn't need to guess. Moreover, the scenes would become more vivid with stronger location descriptions.
Thank you for this wonderful story beginning! I just remembered that you are the author of Overlord Effect, which is (even though it is sort) one my my favorite Overlord crossovers. With this in mind, I look forward to reading more of your work!
| holyscythe chapter 1 . 5/10/2018
well this story feel fresh and good to read, your grammar is pretty good.
i love to read overlord story where ainz is mostly the focused character.
can you please make mre chapter i wonder how fem harry will be as a person and how the others will react to ainz in his true glory, i am gigglin of the faces the wizard and witces will make the they will realy see him.
i am a new fan,
have a nice day :D
| Uberch01 chapter 1 . 5/10/2018
If your racking your brain for ideas, you can show her personality and how others in Nazarick feel about her by using the next 3-5 chapters on small snipits while she slowly ages over the course of the stories. It would be beter story wise then starting off next chapter 10 years latter and explaining in flashbacks.
| muratira chapter 1 . 5/10/2018
Hm, not only did you NOT introduce some Overlord-breaking super OP character (or turn Harry into one) but this is actually well written. We are not flooded with obscene amounts of information but given a small amount that serve to present your idea. The conversations seems to flow right without being needlessly complex or too simple. I do not see any real major flaws in this chapter, with the exception of the length which might be just a little too short. Although, it is understandable for testing out the water, seeing if what you wrote is good or bad(or utter shit like the majority of Overlord fanfiction). So, yes I would personally say that what you wrote so far is pretty good.
On a less reviewy note, at first I honestly expected Nazarick to take her in later in her life. So that she could FEEL the difference on herself between the behaviour of the 'proper and hard working' Dursley and the supposed monsters of Nazarick. The way you wrote she may come to understand the brand of kindness of Nazarick by seeing the racism and discrimination of the magical world, plus the hidden behaviour of some non-magical communities, rather than feel it herself for greater effect. BUT, your version does fit better with the given backstory and does not require any shenanigans on the child's side to be taken in.
On another note, I gotta say, giving Nazarick over a decade to act in the shadows is such overkill it makes my absolutely giddy. You may change it, but based solely on Harry Potter canon: there are no Dragon Lords to potentially threaten Nazarick, there are no world items to harm them, there is NO ONE capable of even scratching a guardian if they can even hit the obscenely fast bastards. Demiurge has shown the ability to command people at will, Nazarick has Doppelgangers that can replace pretty much anyone in power, they have the gold to potentially crash any nations economy and the arsenal to arm a literal army entirely in magical equipment, they can quite casually stop time (which ALL high level monsters of Nazarick have defenes against) and Ainz himself has shown a rather disturbing ability to make others surrender and swear fealty WITHOUT EVEN TRYING. Add in the discrimination in the magical world, not only between muggle-borns and purebloods, but towards other species as well and they pretty much lost from the get go/start. Oh, I can already smell the blood and cannot wait for the next chapter. Here's hoping I didn't hype myself too much for this story writing this part.
| InternalFire chapter 1 . 5/10/2018
Soooooo, when will old demiurge start his happy farm projects? Lol
| sturand42 chapter 1 . 5/10/2018
Great idea. I agree that a fem!harry would fit in better. I look forward to seeing more.
| AinzOoalGown's chosen chapter 1 . 5/10/2018
Interesting. I look forward to more of it.
| greenespeon1995 chapter 1 . 5/10/2018
| Hkblarg Et caetera chapter 1 . 5/10/2018
i can the the future of this overprotective uncle cocytus laying wast to every thing
| Glasses Writer chapter 1 . 5/10/2018
This is actually good ! Heck you just put some cute image into my head and they are cute !
| ZeroSenpai chapter 1 . 5/10/2018
You have my interest, good luck!
| Quatermass chapter 1 . 5/10/2018
I'm curious, were you inspired by my 'Harry of Nazarick' challenge?