Reviews for Blake Hunter
Lorelai Gilmore 3rd chapter 1 . 4/11/2004
Ok, Gidgetgirl, you can lay off my sister, she did fine. This is great hun.
As for you gidgetgirl, go take a hike, we don't want you around.
vern chapter 8 . 6/30/2003
intriguing story. I'm interested in how you'll develop the main character. It would be great to see more interweaving of AtS characters. Keep going!
Pyro Bear chapter 8 . 6/29/2003
Hmm...now we have to see what's going through Gunn's head.
Reve Brulant chapter 7 . 6/25/2003
Hey,

Again good job! I can't wait to read more! KUTGW!
Illyria04 chapter 7 . 6/24/2003
kool

keep goin
Pyro Bear chapter 7 . 6/24/2003
I like Donny, but he wouldn't get all the money...honest.
cloudofcalm chapter 7 . 6/24/2003
Overall, better. Trying harder for more description, I can see. This bit stuck out, though.

Finally the jet landed on top of an apartment building that Blake was all too familiar with. Blake and Donny climbed out of the plane. Donny said for his pilot to wait for them. Donny and Blake went down through the roof exit. Blake led the way to apartment 4B. He pounded on the door.

It's too...stilted. Fave word atm, I know, but let it flow. 'Blake and Donny climbed out of the plane, as Donny called to the pilot to stay behind. Going down through the roof exit, Blake led the way to apartment 4B, and heavily pounded on the door.'

See? More...flow-y.

Aurora, as a name...it's going MS-ish, particularly with blue-green eyes, and blonde hair. If you're gonna write a blonde, with a fancy name, never give her eyes with two colours, is my motto. She's also not brill developed which means, me go, 'MS, MS MS'. Plus, my mus-ish type tissue, (I'm not worthy of a better one, but at least it isn't negative) is turning up her/his no existant nose at Aurora.

Nehoo, a quibble. Surely, if the goverment funded a genetics project, New York would not be the place to hide? It's not exactly provincial...

Nehoo, over all, s'good. I gt get back to tlking to you, so hey, criticism lifted today.

A
Saena chapter 6 . 6/21/2003
Glad to see you've started adding some more chapters to this. I am still liking this, including the short chapter format that works for my busy-ness. Blake is still the best character of any that you've brought up, and I am glad you are providing more clues into his past. Just make sure that as the story progresses, you tie everything in and don't leave any loose ends (if there's anything I've learned from my previous fan fiction stories, it's that).

*cough New Alyssa Madeline Story cough*
Reve Brulant chapter 6 . 6/15/2003
Hey,

Good job! what's up with Blake? I can't wait to find out! KUTGW!
Illyria04 chapter 6 . 6/15/2003
kool k keep goin
piimp chapter 5 . 6/14/2003
write more stories like this
Reve Brulant chapter 5 . 6/9/2003
Hey,

Good job! This was awesome! I can't wait for more! KUTGW!
Illyria04 chapter 5 . 6/9/2003
kool keep goin
gidgetgirl chapter 5 . 6/8/2003
Okay, not even gonna START on the scientific impossibility of all of this... though I'm restraining both my genetics background and my common sense on that one. As a general rule, if you're going to go all science fiction-y as opposed to fantasy, you need to at least throw in a few scientific buzz words to make it seem like it's remotely possible... for example, a human fetus cannot survive outside of the womb... a fertilized egg can if frozen, but not past the zygote phase, so having characters looking at a fetus is kinda off in the first place, unless there's something magical going on that the scientists don't know about.

My only other complaint is the way these guys are talking. You're not going to find many people on college campuses who use words like "wack" and "laid out." It just seems a bit off, plus Blake seems the quiet tough guy kind that wouldn't bother with such teeny bopper expressions even as a child.

Still, you handle the action pretty well and maintain Blake's character. Good chapter.
gidgetgirl chapter 4 . 6/8/2003
The dream sequence at the beginning was pretty weak... these things should be a lot more cryptic than that. I also don't necessarily buy the millionare best friend right away. The best thing this series has going for it so far is Blake himself. Give him more screen time.
35 | Page 1 .. Last Next »