|Reviews for The Moon Pool|
| The Creativity Queen 101 chapter 1 . 9/15
This is what should've happened. Then Charlotte would've been the third mermaid that filled the gap when Emma left in Season 3, not Bella. I mean, Bella's cool and all but Charlotte as a mermaid is an interesting aspect the show ended early on.
| Leroy chapter 1 . 9/2/2018
I Hate charlotte! She is so evil i new as soon as i saw Her iin her ponytail that she would be evil and I was Right! I like Rikki way way better she was the better fire mermaid!
| ClosetedFangirl34 chapter 1 . 5/19/2018
I liked this story. I think it could have been a little more expressive, but I thought it was very creative, especially the Clewis breakup.
Keep writing! ;)
| lun27 chapter 1 . 5/18/2018
I haven't seen the series in years :'D But I'm still going to try to sum up what I think about this story :)
I liked the thing with the competition who did the worst thing :) That was cute. Also the break up scene was very touching.
I think your sentences could do with a little more complexity and variation. You start a lot of sentences with personal pronouns and names and that way it can sound a little repetitive. Try different sentence structure from time to time and it will read much nicer :)
Your dialogue is very on point I think and there isn't useless rambling so it reads very fluent.
Content wise I would have loved a little more conflict within the characters. They did a lot of mistakes and it takes time realising a mistake and then standing up to it. Showing this process makes it a lot more believable and that might be the reason why it might come across as 'cringe-worthy'. I don't think it does, however. I really liked it and you showed different viewpoints and especially Charlotte was very well written.
Don't let those guest reviews get to you ;)
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/18/2018
this was an awful story full of cringe-worthy dialogue and scenes. I hope you will improve your writing.
| brenncns chapter 1 . 5/13/2018
I [clapping emoji] LOVE [clapping emoji] THIS [clapping emoji]