Great to see you continue this story, (though I seem to have missed the notification when this chapter was posted months ago), I really like how you've been developing the characters and you've definitely got the knack for cliff-hanger chapter endings.

Looking forward to getting a bit of Olivai's backstory, I remember in an earlier chapter when she seemed to fumble her story a bit when asked about her family, should be interesting times ahead.

Excellent piece so far. Very well done, and I hope your professional projects are going well.

Just one small thing though... far too unbelievable a story. I mean, Dekker is alive 11 years after the restoration? He usually doesn't last 11 days!

It is unfortunate that the Mechwarrior/Battletech catagory does not receive very much attention, if it did I am sure there would be more great stories such as this! I've really enjoyed what you have written so far an cannot wait to read more.

Oh, boy, do these ladies know how to really step in it, or what!
We always knew Kamea and the Commander had feelings for on another, but Blake's Blood!
The sparring scene was vicious enough to tear up a Mech!

All-in-all, a great chapter!

Please tell me that you're going to keep writing this!

Okay...what the hell did Kamea do? I'm pretty sure Satyr didn't do 'you know what' with her while they were drunk..

Okay this is getting serious good now, we've got a mysterious adversary that seems to be some sort of cyborg, Satyr and Kamea's relationship getting all sorts of awkward, Mattias going all father/uncle/older-brother with Olivai and his discussion with Behemoth and finally the cliffhanger at the end.

Really looking forward to how this is going to progress from here.

A fun little jaunt so far. Well written, good pace, good characters. Keep it up, look forward to reading more.

I almost didn't check this story out since the HBS game didn't resonate with me the way it seems to have done with the rest of the fandom. I'm not a hater by any means, but I wasn't really able to feel even remotely invested in Arano's plight.

So with respect I hadn't thought 'Hmm, more Arano-related content, that's what I want to read' *but* I decided to give this story a shot anyway and I enjoyed it quite a bit. While HBS never managed to make me feel invested in Arano they did leave me feeling invested in the crew and in the Mechwarriors . . . except Behemoth. So I was hopeful they would be in the story and then very glad to see that they were . . . even (sigh) the one I don't like. ;)

I enjoy the scene descriptions and the flow, you write them well. I personally would insert something to indicate when significant time has passed or a scene has changed (you know, the three stars or else the line break in doc-manager) but the narrative does tell us so it isn't *too* jarring as it is. I'd also suggest using "asked" rather than "said" when the character's line is a question, but you do you and I hope you continue.

I really like how this story flows, and is currently unfolding!

The Character Development is top-Notch!

Added to Faves and Follows!

Oh!

What a way to start!

I am adding this to both my Favorites and Follows Lists!

I like it seems like a good start. Look forward to the next chapter

I am so happy to finally see a BATTETECH game fanfic to be posted. I thought it was an excellent game and I don't regret playing it a single minute. I can't think of anything that stuck out as an issue in this story structure-wise. I'm fascinated to see how the romance kicks in this story and can't wait to find out more of the backstory of Comannder Saytr. The biggest thing that sucked me into this story was that you made you main character (or I assume main character) not the Commander, but this Olivai. Best wishes!

awesome when's the next chapter?