Reviews for A Step to the Right
DaSalvatore chapter 1 . 6/17/2018
Curious about the style you've taken with the writing. Your usual is much better so I can only assume it was a deliberate decision to make it so choppy and bullet-proof in describing the events? If so, I hope you change back to a much more natural tense in the future.

Not really much else to say about this. You've left it open on whether the ball was deliberately messed with by Molly which is interesting. I can't say I enjoyed your post-war Wizarding Britain though. Harry is a persona non grata for winning the war? He's not even allowed to perform magic and people can get him to leave whenever they want even with the Lord Black label?

That you have this and the harsh treatment on Muggle-borns so close to the end of the war yet everyone is able to have a party in the Three Broomsticks doesn't stick well for me. I can understand everyone not wanting to continue the fight but for Harry and Hermione to accept it as they appeared to have is disappointing.

Overal, a potentially good idea but the execution was lacking. I -am- looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
Beyondthesea16 chapter 1 . 6/17/2018
super surprised but truly appreciate that you are writing another store, the beginning is already good, like did molly set hermione up to disappear cause she don't like her or what, plus what the hell is going on why are the muggleborns being targeted like that, and what's going on in this new world, waiting for more
DarkRavie chapter 1 . 6/17/2018
This story has intrigued me. Questions are swirling in my mind. What the heck happened that Harry can't spend time in any magical enclave for long? I can't wait to read more.
ObsessedWithHPFanFic chapter 1 . 6/17/2018
Interesting first chapter and it's be great to learn more about Harry's exile from the Wizarding world. Thanks for sharing!
mooneysfate chapter 1 . 6/17/2018
awesome! :)
vagrantboy chapter 1 . 6/17/2018
So I quite honestly have no idea where you are going with the amazing opening...but I'm all in! Big fan of A Marauder's Plan, and with the set up you've started here I can't wait to see how this story unfolds.
alix33 chapter 1 . 6/17/2018
I like Hermione’s outfit, except for the hideous-sounding yellow Weasley scarf.
I love the sounds of the chocolate cake but I loathe the blueberry muffin on account of it containing cooked fruit (and the only cooked fruit I like are canned and stewed peaches and canned and stewed quinces).
I like Harry’s outfit for the evening.
Hermione’s dress and boots sound very pretty. Yay! for her not having taken off her necklace present from Harry.
“muggle-borns” and “muggle-born” should be hyphenated.
Matchbox198 chapter 1 . 6/17/2018
Very excited about this. Although I was surprised to see a new story come out, and I was originally a bit reticent about reading it seeing the present tense writing, I have to say that the plot is very interesting at least. I am more than looking forward to reading the rest of this.
Side note: I'm not sure if it's you or some other author, but I've recently read the phrase "playing mum" a lot recently. If it is you, which I'm relatively certain it is, it may be time to update your lexicon.
Thundramon chapter 1 . 6/17/2018
YAYYY! I am very happy you are writing again. Thank you. I am grateful I get to read another amazing story from an awesome writer like you.
RhysThornbery chapter 1 . 6/17/2018
Okay, interesting concept. Could be good stuff, in fact I'd bet on it. Just curious though, what's up with the 'tense' you've taken for this story. It's sorta present-tense but not quite...Reads kinda awkwardly.

sunsethill chapter 1 . 6/17/2018
I love how you describe the organic way that Harry and Hermione's friendship has developed after the War and Hogwarts. The hints of what has happened with Ron and with the wizarding world are tantalizing and I look forward to getting more details as we go along. The idealized version of the results of the war shown in DH was fine for a children's book, but it really didn't resonate with me, so finding out that the Ministry turned on Harry again after the war is very believable. Seeing Zacharius Smith in a position to abuse Harry-because Harry taught him DADA-is pretty typical. Of course, I'm wondering if Molly planned this, but somehow I don't think she did. It was sad to see just how disconnected Harry and Hermione are from everyone else so that there really won't be that big of a hole left in the previous world by their absence. Yes, they'll be missed, but life will go on pretty easily. I hope we can see a little bit of what happens there at some point.
sfu chapter 1 . 6/17/2018
and in the middle of another magical way

It should say war.
ScarletRoofs chapter 1 . 6/17/2018
This sounds interesting! Will we be learning more of the world they leave behind or will the new world they landed in be the main focus? I’m excited to see where they’ve ended up!
Midoriryu chapter 1 . 6/17/2018
This looks interesting. Not much more I can say as yet, but I have to ask, why is it written in the present tense?
2,069 | « Prev Page 1 .. 128 135 136 137 138