|Reviews for Seeker's Prayer|
| Freddo chapter 17 . 12/16/2021
great chapter...even though...Sarsennone and the Sentinels...ewwwww...utter revulsion at those creatures from the pit of Hell. Good thing Constance got free of them.
| Freddo chapter 16 . 11/5/2021
Interesting chapter...fascinating in the history revealed behind the Millenial Queens and Larmetal, and the dynamic of spiritual warfare shown therein.
I can't wait to see how this tale turns out.
| Freddo chapter 15 . 7/18/2021
And...Sarsennone and the Sentinels make their appearance.
Sarsennone is evil and utterly grotesque...part-demon, perhaps. Horrid.
Praying Constance manages to get away from this bunch and continue her search-and get the crystals back.
| Just a Crazy-Man chapter 14 . 4/21/2021
| Freddo chapter 14 . 4/14/2021
Love the two perspectives here and how they came together (cross-referencing Fortress of Evil 16); you pulled off something very, very interesting: you went over many of the same events as in the FOE chapter, but in a slightly different timing and perspective so we see what Dara was up to and how she got on the Argo.
I liked Muska, the decent Dark Nebulan, and Sakania. It was interesting to find out about Larela's involvement and how Larmetal is involved. I wonder if Larmetal is Brumus, or is it another planet not yet discovered by the Terrans? Also, will Yuki Yayoi/Promethium II be involved?
Desslok is an enemy, but we both know he is decent, if lost right now, and that he will be reformed. But, Deun? I hate him. I hated him in The Right of Kings, and I hate him even more now! What a viper he is! Trying to get this out right: Desslok is misguided, but Deun is EVIL.
Love to see what happens when everyone sees Trelaina/The Diviner and also like to see how Desslok is reformed since in your timeline, I see that Derek and Nova's romance is taking longer to develop than in either canon or my universe. Looking forward to see what you do. Love it.
| Freddo chapter 13 . 2/20/2021
WOW! Pretty obvious whom Dara and her group met! Trelaina! I like how she is connected to the Divine Plan and His Providence. Can't wait until you write what happens when the Star Force shows up.
Very nice job; and I take off my hat to you. Can't wait to see more!
| Freddo chapter 12 . 2/20/2021
Very interesting! I see a lot of gears moving in this chapter. The Dark Nebulans, Skaldart, and...the Millenial Queen. Yayoi/Prothehium is involved with this mess? Very interesting. You are really holding my interest now.
Very nice job.
| rebecca-in-blue chapter 2 . 9/21/2018
Hi there, here from review tag and completely fandom-blind, although I don't think that was really an issue here. The plot is accessible, and Dara feels like a well-developed character that the reader can get invested with. I like how smoothly you establish her circumstances in the opening scene - traveling alone, running low on fuel, and trying to get to a place where she can barter. It creates a good "what's next?" feeling.
The "Half an hour later..." section of Dara in her cockpit fills us in on her backstory, which is important information, but I don't really think it's conveyed in the best way. Dara literally tells us about her past, missing her family, etc. I'm not familiar with this character, but it seems kinda unrealistic that she would just sit there and say all of this out loud. It felt like very obvious exposition to me, and I think it might read more naturally if her thoughts and feelings were explored in the narration.
The ending scene kinda took me by surprise. Dara's reaction to the hustle, bustle, and smells of the port city near the beginning made her feel sheltered, but at the end, she takes down all the drunks without missing a beat. I'm also not sure if that scene really contributes to the plot.
I really like the scene of Dara bargaining for a ship with the merchant and considering whether or not to make his delivery. There's a good build of mystery and suspense there, and I think it's the strongest part of this chapter, although Muska convincing Dara to let him go along is good, too. For the most part, the chapter reads smoothly, even though it's a bit long and covers a lot.
The occasional Hebrew kinda threw me, just because it feels so unexpected in a sci-fi setting, but I'll attribute that to being fandom-blind. I usually see the word for earth transliterated as "eretz," though.