Reviews for Hive Daughter |
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![]() ![]() ![]() He beginning of the conversation with Ava was eh but after that it got better, it felt natural even. |
![]() ![]() ![]() When ever Myriad speaks about authority the flow takes a nose dive. Your just hit with a walk of dialogue, and it doesn't work. The problem dropping a speech like that (unless your actually giving a speech) is that it doesn't work. People interrupt, and normally would never let some one do that. Especially angry unhinged mob leaders. Second if you want to give a speech like that a anyway, you should break it up with actions. Like describe what she's doing like is she pacing, hand motions, the mind reactions, the works. what ever you can think of. Looks and reads a lot better that way. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Okay that was better. I enjoyed the dialogue at the end there. |
![]() ![]() ![]() The dialogue still needs work, it feels like they are trying to get their point across as fast as humanly possible. It feels unnatural. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Nice chapter, but I don't think shadow stalker is quite that stupid to attack right in front of her team and armsmaster |
![]() ![]() ![]() Past few chapters read more like a journal rather than a story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Liked it but the dialogue was very stiff. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I was wondering what was holding up the next chapter, but it is clear: You have 69 chapters and don't want to mess that up by adding another. I respect that. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow. Just wow. I just read through all that's here so far and it is just absolutely brilliant! I'm actually super bummed out that I've caught up because that means there's no more to read right now. Thanks for the chapter! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Amy sounds like she wants in the network. She'd probably end up like Abathur from Starcraft... |
![]() ![]() ![]() Ha! Coil was trying his split timelines and it did not go well. |
![]() ![]() ![]() *claps* nicely done ) -an you left taylor's mind with the..original? 'hive' of the Tyranid (is there even an "Original" in that universe anymore? ;3) with a possible way back perhaps? -will her original body be let out with others who are innocent in the birdcage? (or mostly so?) -Behemoth an Simurgh are still lose, but, are they a Loose End, or just going to go away now that they aren't being controlled? -possible dimensional travel coming to terms? -most importantly! her growing relationship with AMY! D not sure if this is an Epilogue, but some thoughts for a sequel or more chapters either way keep up the good work! _ |
![]() ![]() ![]() I just caught up and holy heck I love the story! Thank you for writing it and I'm looking forward to more! And I'm kinda hoping taylor takes over the greater hive mind in the wh40k universe |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hah, I found that last sentence to be deeply satisfying. I wonder if they realized that Eidolon is the one who controls the Endbringers. It seemed a bit anticlimatic that Scion was defeated like that, but I'm very curious what happens next. Will there be no more powers awakening? |
![]() ![]() ![]() I suspect it's Scion who's in PAIN but we'll find out for sure next chapter. |