|Reviews for Hive Daughter|
| GrapeFanta chapter 46 . 11/16/2019
He beginning of the conversation with Ava was eh but after that it got better, it felt natural even.
| GrapeFanta chapter 41 . 11/16/2019
When ever Myriad speaks about authority the flow takes a nose dive. Your just hit with a walk of dialogue, and it doesn't work. The problem dropping a speech like that (unless your actually giving a speech) is that it doesn't work. People interrupt, and normally would never let some one do that. Especially angry unhinged mob leaders.
Second if you want to give a speech like that a anyway, you should break it up with actions. Like describe what she's doing like is she pacing, hand motions, the mind reactions, the works. what ever you can think of.
Looks and reads a lot better that way.
| GrapeFanta chapter 30 . 11/16/2019
Okay that was better. I enjoyed the dialogue at the end there.
| GrapeFanta chapter 26 . 11/16/2019
The dialogue still needs work, it feels like they are trying to get their point across as fast as humanly possible. It feels unnatural.
| GrapeFanta chapter 16 . 11/15/2019
Nice chapter, but I don't think shadow stalker is quite that stupid to attack right in front of her team and armsmaster
| GrapeFanta chapter 3 . 11/15/2019
Past few chapters read more like a journal rather than a story.
| GrapeFanta chapter 4 . 11/15/2019
Liked it but the dialogue was very stiff.
| DarthBill chapter 69 . 11/14/2019
I was wondering what was holding up the next chapter, but it is clear:
You have 69 chapters and don't want to mess that up by adding another. I respect that.
| woodzrox chapter 69 . 11/11/2019
Wow. Just wow. I just read through all that's here so far and it is just absolutely brilliant! I'm actually super bummed out that I've caught up because that means there's no more to read right now. Thanks for the chapter!
| woodzrox chapter 59 . 11/11/2019
Amy sounds like she wants in the network. She'd probably end up like Abathur from Starcraft...
| woodzrox chapter 12 . 11/10/2019
Ha! Coil was trying his split timelines and it did not go well.
| ranma hibiki chapter 69 . 11/8/2019
*claps* nicely done )
-an you left taylor's mind with the..original? 'hive' of the Tyranid (is there even an "Original" in that universe anymore? ;3) with a possible way back perhaps?
-will her original body be let out with others who are innocent in the birdcage? (or mostly so?)
-Behemoth an Simurgh are still lose, but, are they a Loose End, or just going to go away now that they aren't being controlled?
-possible dimensional travel coming to terms?
-most importantly! her growing relationship with AMY! D
not sure if this is an Epilogue, but some thoughts for a sequel or more chapters either way
keep up the good work! _
| Lethaius chapter 69 . 11/3/2019
I just caught up and holy heck I love the story! Thank you for writing it and I'm looking forward to more! And I'm kinda hoping taylor takes over the greater hive mind in the wh40k universe
| ultraclosetfan chapter 69 . 11/1/2019
Hah, I found that last sentence to be deeply satisfying. I wonder if they realized that Eidolon is the one who controls the Endbringers.
It seemed a bit anticlimatic that Scion was defeated like that, but I'm very curious what happens next. Will there be no more powers awakening?
| Armiture chapter 68 . 10/31/2019
I suspect it's Scion who's in PAIN but we'll find out for sure next chapter.