|Reviews for Vignettes|
| Animorphgirl chapter 9 . 1/9
Nice resolution to their fight. I agree with Jen more than Yemra about how they handled things, although I can see both perspectives. As far as length goes, I don’t think this was too short at all!
| Animorphgirl chapter 8 . 11/23/2018
I wasn't too surprised by the outcome of Sonny's experiment, but I can see why Jen would be-and equally upset that Yemra was taking control while she slept to talk to her friend. Definitely an invasion of privacy, even though Yemra's motives were certainly good. Since Yemra doesn't need to feed regularly, is she and Jen in contact with other voluntary Controllers living in that area? The basic issue here-that Jen is dependent on Yemra-must be a fairly common one. The soccer aspect is kind of secondary. Anyway, great chapter, and looking forward to the next one!
| Animorphgirl chapter 7 . 11/20/2018
I suppose this is the beginning of Jen realizing her dependence on Yemra? We see this in your other fic, but this scene takes place a few years earlier. Honestly, if Jen isn’t on the roster to play—or whatever it’s called—there’s no reason to keep Yemra out of her head. Still, I suppose plans can change, and she has to be ready immediately. It takes a little for a Yeerk to leave their host. One criticism: due to the rating, you should tone down the language. Or, perhaps, have Jen swear in Galard!
| Animorphgirl chapter 6 . 11/3/2018
Another great chapter! I can understand the hesitancy to allow Yeerks on the playing field, regardless of the level of competition. Even if the Yeerk doesn't act as a super drug, it IS an additional mind, and can assist their host. Granted, I can also see why some people would view it as another form of discrimination against voluntary Controllers.
The real problem, of course, is allowing voluntary Controllers during tests. Because as long as the Yeerk was paying attention in class, the human could certainly pass the tests with more ease than normal. I'm a little surprised this hasn't come up-maybe in a future chapter?
Nice to see Yibey! Any chance of meeting up with Tarash as well?
| YPM-33-KI chapter 5 . 10/3/2018
Great chapter, this. It'd be so hard for the Peace Movement to spread its message under a culture like that of the empire, and it's easy to imagine that there could be other yeerks who privately sympathised with the movement without ever saying so to anyone around them.
Likewise, it's easy to believe that Jen would be nervous about walking around with Yemra in her, even though logically there's no way for people to know Yemra is there so long as Jen acts natural. It is very interesting though to see that Jen used to be averse to Yemra controlling her. I can't help but wonder now how long it took Jen to become okay with it; I'm guessing quite a while?
| Animorphgirl chapter 5 . 10/1/2018
Great chapter! I suppose that Jen could have kept Yemra in water in her room when she was at school, but then she would always have to worry about her parents discovering her. Jen’s about 8 at the beginning of her time with Yemra, right? Isn’t that young to be wearing mini skirts? Then again, if she was my daughter, she would not be wearing one until after she left home! As for the Hork-Bajir, that’s very depressing. I imagine the whole “don’t search your host’s memory” policy was revoked after human infestation began? Just something to consider mentioning in the future. Anyway, very powerful chapter!
| Animorphgirl chapter 4 . 8/28/2018
I enjoyed this chapter, but to be honest, more the beginning with the TV show than the battle. I get that it was one of Yemra’s memories, but it seemed overly long and didn’t really show any major turning point in her thinking. For instance, we never hear the thoughts of her Hork-Bajir host. Still, the beginning was very good, and it was great to see Yeerks and Controllers becoming—if not mainstream—at least accepted in this world.
| Animorphgirl chapter 3 . 8/13/2018
Nice tie in with Jen’s car and Yemra flying the big fighter. Also, realistic that her first car was used—very appropriate for a teenager and a new driver! I didn’t get a completely new car until my 30s. Hope you add more soon!
| YPM-33-KI chapter 2 . 7/30/2018
I must say I really like the idea behind this fic. It'll be interesting to see how how a yeerk like Yemra experiences everyday life, away from the trials and tribulations of war. I also look forward to seeing more of Yemra's life before Earth, assuming of course you intend to go down that route. There's a whole lot of routes you could go with this, actually, and I look forward to seeing which ones you choose.
I do think some improvements could be made to this fic's style. Yemra's narration is rather verbose at points, and I feel the fic would read more smoothly if these were trimmed down. In particular, the "french fries and chocolate" paragraph in could be removed without consequence in my opinion. The 3rd paragraph of the Carger section could also be shortened a bit in light of Carger's speech right after (which covers similar points), to provide another example.
Speaking of Carger: I think he's a very cool idea for a character and I'm glad you decided to include such a character in this. You can't help but wonder how many other yeerks there are who feel the way he does but who don't have quite enough courage to speak out. Come to think of it, you can't help but wonder if Carger wasn't caught out by a sub-Visser at some point or other.
All in all, great fic, and I look forward to reading more!
| Animorphgirl chapter 2 . 7/30/2018
Great concept! I am really enjoying this so far. I suppose Yemra is controlling Jen as she writes the story? Or is she dictating her thoughts to her host? The appearance of Carger was a nice addition. Good tie in to the old world and way of life before the Andalites intervened. Can’t wait to read more!