Reviews for The First
Shade40 chapter 16 . 12/14/2008
Now this is the kind of fanfiction I most like to see! The kind that fills in the gaps, explains a character's past more fully, shows us a glimpse of their thoughts, and gives a broader understanding of that character's personality. This is a great piece of work.

I found your opening chapter/ introduction to be a bit unorthodox. I didn't care for it, but it was certainly creative. You've really brought out Kuja's love of dramatics in this story, and your tale does a good job of simply explaining Kuja's hatred for Garland, which I feel is probably one of the most important tie-ins to the "official" Final Fantasy story. In the game, we never get to see their relationship to an acceptable degree.

I was pleasantly surprised by your addition of the silver dragon. I have generally disregarded the dragon. If I had to wonder about it, I would consider the dragon to be nothing more than controlled by Kuja's magic. The deep relationship you've built between the two of them is refreshing in its originality.

I am a little hesitant of your treatment of Zidane, just because he felt underdeveloped and his behaviour with Kuja did not add up to what I would have expected. I would not have expected Zidane to be so meek and helpful to Kuja, instead portraying a more independent personality. But that is just my opinion. Your story is not about Zidane and thus you did not need to explain his thoughts and actions as you did Kuja's.

One thing I noticed is that a more full description of Kuja's wardrobe before he gets his familiar clothing would have been nice, since I had been visualizing him in those clothes from the beginning of the story. Actually, I would have liked more full descriptions of the places in general, just because I love the look of the FFIX's cities and lands. The descriptions weren't inadequate - I just feel I would have been happier with a bit more.

I loved the image of Kuja in the library, doing all that studying. He's so cute as a scholar!

Your originality while remaining loyal to the original FFIX is just great. The way you mention Kuja's palace, explaining where the place came from, how Kuja added teleporters, fits perfectly. Your explanation of the destruction behind Madain Sari is apt. Your historical explanations involving the Eidolons and the crystals was very well-done, although I forget how much of that tale was actually explained in the game. I just know I found the whole game-tale where Kuja was concerned to be a bit confusing, but your story makes it much clearer to me, regardless of how "true" it really is.

Your new characters have been done nicely, too, and I have a feeling they tie in very nicely with the original story. I expect they will tie in even more so in the future. I'm a little hesitant to comment on the love interest bit with Faowri, just because I'm not sure what to think of it. Showing Kuja falling in love would fit in with your desire to portray Kuja's character in a new, more revealing way. I believe you would not make your whole story about that, just because the FF game does not give Kuja the time for love, and you would want to remain true to the game.

It'd be nice to see this continued, although it looks like you'd have a long way to go.
DarkWriter00 chapter 16 . 11/6/2007
Shame that this fic's been discontinued, because it was getting so interesting... I also got a little bit of inspiration from this, so I fave this story and give you extra praise points for it.

I loved the idea on the interesting relationship between Kuja and the silver dragon. I also liked the thought of Garland telepathically intervening. *smirk* Oh, Kuja is so much fun to write about... :D
SilverKitsune013 chapter 16 . 10/26/2005
This is one of the best Kuja-based stories that I've read! I like how you use many different words to describe the environment. This is a very good look into Kuja's past. Shame Garland has to mess everything up! Please update as soon as you can!
Vespertillio chapter 16 . 5/18/2004
I LOVE this fic! Update again, please? You are very talented at this.
Sephira Netzach chapter 16 . 1/4/2004
Wow...I only wish I wrote half as well as you do. You're incredible at this fanfiction business, you know that? I'm envious...
Did you get the idea for the behavior of Kuja's dragon from Anne Mccaffery's books? If so, it works quite well.
If it isn't too much trouble, could you read my two fanfics, please? They're "Priestess of the Guado" and its prequel "The First Priestess" in the FFX section.
Mikoto Zoku chapter 16 . 12/31/2003
This is a really good story! I like how everything is unfolding. I particularly liked the part where Kuja first called 'The Second' a thief. I hope this gets updated again soon!
Eika chapter 16 . 12/31/2003
Yay! You updated (dances) It's too bad about Kuja and Faowri. They would've been a cute couple... (mentally shrugs) Oh well. VERY good job, can't wait for the rest!
Jukka Bushtail chapter 15 . 11/12/2003
A truly brilliant work, but I think I may have said this before.

Ony one thing to say: are you going to do more? And if so, when?
Mel chapter 15 . 9/5/2003
Keep writing! Your doing such a good job, I love the way you word your sentences!
Mel chapter 15 . 8/26/2003
Come on damnit, wheres the rest? Ive been waiting its so damn good, keep going!
ShadowHeart chapter 15 . 8/16/2003
Very good. This whole Kuja/Faowri pairing is great, and you use it to reveal the side of Kuja that we don't see in the game. Hell, I almost forget who I'm reading about! However, I don't think that he's OOC, but rather more IC than meets the eye. So keep going!
Reiko x 3 chapter 1 . 7/21/2003
Reiko: Actually I've always kind of liked Kuja. Considering who he had to live with, I don't blame him for his actions.

Rei: Garland on the other hand...

Dark:*coldly* ...Must die a horrid and painful death for making Kuja's life miserable.
Reiko x 3 chapter 4 . 7/20/2003

Reiko: He needs to die slowly and painfully, then be revived and put through the same treatment over and over throughout eternity!

Rei: *nod* Agreed. Dark could you...redecorate the eternal residence of our vict...oops, I mean guest.

Dark: *evil grin* Gladly... He WILL suffer for his crimes.
Jukka Bushtail chapter 15 . 7/9/2003
This is a truly brilliant story. LunarCry, you should become a published author! You're good enough, I swear...

Kuja is a brilliant character to build on. I admit it, I cried in some places! I've done fanfiction too, but always from Zidane's or Garnet's perspective. Kuja is an amazing guy. I'd never really understood about the IIfa Tree and Mist before, but this explains it really well. I need more of this story! Most of the Kuja fanfiction is shallow stuff with no insight or emotion. Most people don't realise how Kuja thinks, but you do, and that's a real asset. One of my pet hates is spelling and grammar mistakes, but I don't think I saw a single one here! Well done, LunarCry!
Mel chapter 15 . 7/7/2003
I love the story so far, YOUR SO GOOD AT THIS! I dont know what to say, the way you write is amazing! GOOD JOB! Keep up the work, I really wanna know what happens when Kuja tells Faowri why he's really there, but still, GOOD JOB DAMNIT! I wish I could write like that!
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