Reviews for The Chit |
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![]() ![]() You made me read half of this crap with no sex scene. Put this crap under Teen next time you idiot |
![]() ![]() ![]() Nicely done. I thought you had Severus very well figured out ! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Loved this. I'm not a regular marriage law kind of gal, but this was very nicely done. Thanks for sharing |
![]() ![]() I really enjoyed this! Thank you for sharing. |
![]() ![]() ![]() second read through, lovely read, just a good time |
![]() ![]() ![]() but what a thoughtful mile she took *wink |
![]() ![]() ![]() i thoroughly enjoyed this |
![]() ![]() ![]() The idea is good. The plot is interesting. Liked how Hermione makes a list of suitors and methodically crosses them off after talking to them. Liked the gift from Fred and George to Hermione. The ending is odd. Hermione runs around the battlefield as if Voldemort poses no threat to her when he has just demonstrated his power. The last thing one expects from the smartest witch of her generation. So silly to set herself up, considering she begged Severus to watch out. The characters are great. Severus and Hermione do a pretty good job of analyzing the people around them and how they relate to them. Their dialogues are clever, I liked them a lot. Admittedly some of the actions are pretty dumb, an example in the previous paragraph. Although... Hermione is the only one who does stupid things. Sev has no complaints at all. None of the main characters behave in a way that makes you want to hit them. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I love moments like this when the reader knows that Hermione loves Severus. But it still describes his suspicions, his depression, his anguish over her wanting to leave him. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I really liked the way you portrayed the behavior of the guests at the wedding and afterwards. They're all hypocritical, ungrateful bastards who take everything for granted. They don't give themselves the trouble to understand how truly dangerous and disastrously important Severus' job is, the job of a spy. Snape actually sacrifices himself on a daily basis. If it weren't for Sev's information many of them would be dead by now, and there would be almost nothing left of the resistance to Voldemort. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I very much love your style of writing, especially how you write Severus. This was a very enjoyable read, the development of their relationship, the war against the Dark Lord, ... I find the Malfoys very believeable here, too. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I enjoyed the story but was totally thrown out of it by this chapter. There were no Kindle books in 1999 or 2000 and we called yoga pants leggings. Although, I am sure most people don't mind these inconsistencies, as someone who was Hermiones age at this time and a bibliophile, I felt you needed to know. I usually had three novels in my purse, all paperback, all bought at thrift stores for 10 cents. The first Kindle came out in 2007 I got one in 2009 and was super excited. About yoga pants as pants... Stores didnt really sell yoga pants outside the athletic section until 2005ish and they were not worn about as clothes outside of the gym until around the same time. The first time I can remember seeing anyone wearing yoga pants as an actual outfit was my friends teenage sister in Jan of 2005. It scandalized my Nana. I searched for them after that and can tell you that they didn't make their way to my wardrobe until 2007 when Target started carrying them. Muggle stores in 1999 would have had low cut jeans , boot cut, and shirts that never covered your belly. Refrence Buffy, Rose from Dr Who, Gilmore Girls, and Sex and the City. We did not have internet stores so had to wear what was in style and carried in stores. Nana bought my clothes 1996-1997 from a department store in California. I had the same outfits as the first season of Buffy, minus the knee boots which Nana said were 'hooker boots' Later I found out they bought the wardrobe for Buffy from the same store, lol Cheers 90s kid |
![]() ![]() ![]() A truly wonderful story. WELL DONE! |
![]() ![]() ![]() Amazing story. Such a nice take on the Marriage Law. Cute and captivating at the same time. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hey ! Already sorry for the mistakes, I usually speak French and I'm learning English. I just finished to read your fanfiction and I really enjoyed it, it was both so cute and with action ! I found it really good written. I'm really happy you've continued to write after chapter 5 :D You made me feel sadness, joy, and I didn't want to stop reading it. I was wondering if you could give me the permission to translate and share your story in French so other people can read it and enjoy it too. I've always dreamed of taking on this challenge and your story is perfect to try ! If you want not never mind, the most important is the plesure you gave me with this story. Thanks and see you soon I hope ! Suldreen194 |