|Reviews for Sovereign's Log|
| computer dunce chapter 1 . 6/16/2003
You asked about dialoge so here is my answer:
The log form that you have chosen for this story works fine, and perhaps more naturally, without dialoge. Do you keep a journal of your own? If you do, you should base how you write your own journal to how you write this one. I have a daily journal, and dialouge rarely enters it. At this point, I would recommend not putting dialouge unless it is ablsoluely necissary for the plot. Such as:
The wizard took me aside today and said, "The sun rises over a day of doom in trice the new moon." I wonder what he could have meant by that.
I don't know what that means myself, but if that is importaint to your plot, you should put in the dialouge.
Well, that's my really long winded explination. I hope it made sense.
By the way, it seemed to me that the explination points were a bit over done. Perhaps it is the character of the prince, but I thought I might point it out. Besides, this is written by someone who isn't a writer, so it would perhaps show your character better if you didn't make it perfect.
Keep up the good work!
| Once in a blue moon chapter 1 . 5/2/2003
hmm.. 1st of all, i never understood how a game could be made into a story... it's a game, really! but this kinda works...
just a few things... now, i'm not claiming to be "MASTER AUTHORESS" or anything like that, but it seemed a little formal. we didn't really know who this person was and her reactions seemed a little shallow (not the thinking about herself all the time kind, but not in-depth). Also, most people don't write EVERY day. but i did a ppriciate your sence of humor when it came to it! I hope that helped!