|Reviews for The Teleporting Hero: Vanishing Point (Discontinued)|
| kronos797 chapter 4 . 5/27
this is utter bullshit. most of the tests are distance related. long jump, make portal, jump through, get best score. ball throw, make portal to house, drop ball in, get score multi km long. he should have completely smashed enough tests for the rest to be negligible.
| Whitetiger789 chapter 13 . 4/1
I'm gonna miss this story.
| bajy chapter 13 . 4/1
aww but I love this story...
| Weebgamer1503 chapter 3 . 3/11
YOU HAVE TO MAKE MORE PLEASE I can’t go on when this exists PLEASE
| Mr. Incognito chapter 12 . 2/14
I hope this story is still going because it has great potential, but unlike every other story I have read already I just hope it has timely updates and keeps up the amazing progress...Now back to being incognito
| abciluvpie chapter 1 . 2/12
No, I don't give a hit about what you did, but not giving a valid response to the fact that portals no matter how small are damn near op already. Toxins, BULLETS, needles, sound going through to alert the hero, the fact finger bullets are an actual thing and you are in a world where a base human is much stronger, and just a portal inside a body, you can even cut wires with them destroying the robots easily. Please, tell me none of that crossed your mind and I will be fine, but if it did and you went through with misconception for ease of a story, why write it? you didn't even try to build a base if that was the case.
| Craftydemigod chapter 12 . 2/11
You're the best! Will all might keep his power longer in this?
| Wirespeed91 chapter 10 . 2/1
Right, going to just put this here. Sorry if it sounds harsh at points. I feel like you've got a good concept here but the execution is poor, so I wanted to leave behind some notes rather than just ignore the fic completely.
You could have done a lot with the USJ arc but nothing really changed. It's a bit disappointing. Sure, he got put with different people at some points and a few minor details changed, but nothing meaninfully changed on the whole. All the same events happened roughly the same as they did in canon.
For instance, while Izuku moving without thinking is fine, in the scene where Shigaraki is attacking I have a lot of trouble believing that he wouldn't instinctively try to use the portal quirk that he's had for his entire life. Even if he maybe thought it was useless. The fact that you even put in a sentence in the story justifying that makes me think that you probably agree.
The whole thing feels very lazily done. Emphasis on very. You can do better if you put in the effort to make the story your own rather than just rehash canon. Easier said than done, I know, but you'll keep hearing this unless you can.
Other things, I'm still seeing pacing issues here. I've heard it referred to as 'Cool Writer Syndrome' - the boring parts get rushed through so that we writer can get to the cool parts. Understandable, but it makes for rough storytelling and pacing issues galore. The boring parts are sadly unavoidable and completely necessary to actually tell a story.
Another tip: you should never put authors notes in the middle of a chapter. It breaks immersion, and that's really bad.
Chapters that are A/Ns are also annoying. Not to mention against the site rules (not that they seem to bother enforcing them most of the time). If you really want to use them, then okay I guess, but I would strongly suggest deleting them later. Personally I would rather wait longer for a chapter without knowing what's going on than have an author fake me out with a fake chapter, but that's just me.
I'm sure there's some other stuff but I lost track and can't think of anything else at the moment. Anyway, later.
| DALucifer13 chapter 1 . 1/19
anyone who has ever played portal can tell you how hood portals are, even small ones, as an example in fate oath under snow/kaleid angelica put's swords in an infinite loop and speeds them up exponentially. do the same to a small steel ball.
| R chapter 12 . 1/13
You're in the Ribotics team, too? That's oretty cool
| Science Nerdeek chapter 4 . 1/12
Still very interesting! I love the idea of Deku and Kacchan being on the same battle team, it's not something I've seen often. Will keep reading!
More constructive criticism, read at your own peril of being triggered. ;).
In your world, Deku didn't hurt his finger using all for one. Thus, he preformed normally instead of being in constant pain. Let's look at the results of that plus portals.
~50 meter Sprint: less than 3 seconds. Top Score.
~Grip Strength: training did not include grip. Slightly Above Average, nothing special.
~Standing Long jump: As far as he can see. Literally. Second to Top: First is Uraraka because once she jumps in a direction... she doesn't actually have to stop her jump and maintains her velocity. Deku's is arguably better, but hers is one jump.
~Side to side jumps: Extreme training. Above Average. If he's allow to jump into a portal on his right and flip onto his feet from the left of his starting positionsecond to top due to Mineta actually being a badass on this challenge.
~Throwing Challenge 705.3. Second place. Top is Uraraka of course.
~Situps: Extreme training no pain. Above Average.
~Seated toe touch: Extreme training no pain. Above Average.
~Long Distance Running: Extreme training no pain able to repeatedly create portals and run or jump into them to extend the actual distance he's traveled massively during the exercise for minimal effort. Top Score.
So top score x2, top 3 x2 or x3, above average x4 or x3.
Simply changing it so that Deku doesn't hurt himself is massive and probably already pushes him past Mineta. Giving him the ability to create portals ensures him a place in the middle of the pack at least.
Final Judgement: Deku is easily upper-mid ranking in the Apprehension Test and Mineta is expelled from Hero Course: A with someone else brought in to replace him.
Unfortunate considering how comedic he is, while being beat up or just normally, but it allows the story to take in another person of your choosing.
Science Nerdeek... AWAY!
| Science Nerdeek chapter 3 . 1/12
Awesome story so far! Very well done from what I can see. It is a bit rushed feeling in some places, but that's not unusual to see on an amateur site like this; as learning proper story speed can take years to avoid rushed or dry story segments. I think you have potential and hope you keep writing. If you do, I wish you much luck and will almost assuredly look for your stories in the future. :)
Now for your optional constructive criticism, take it or leave it as you wish. :)
Why only 20 points? The test seems to last about seven minutes judging by the anime's '6 minutes and 2 seconds remaining'. Let's say he takes out one robot every 5 seconds, over the course of the entire exam. Sometimes getting two at once by throwing one robot onto another to crush it would make up search and travel time. Minimum score 84 but we'll bring it down to 70 to allow for over a full minute to fight the zero pointer. Now let's assume that two pointers are half as common as one pointers and three pointers are half as common as two pointers so out of 7 robots 4 one pointers, 2 two pointers, and 1 three pointer. So 110 points on average. So the likely score he could achieve in a realistic amount of time is between 80 and 140 depending upon how much luck he has and how well he utilized his time. But since this is Deku who is very smart and would know how to maximize his usage, due to training his mind extensively on how to be a hero, we'll say 120. He isn't a pro and sometimes hesitates... but he's ready for this and wants to prove himself.
Now... 50 Rescue points? For what? I mean, sure... maybe 25 or something... but 50? All he did was create a portal under her and then she ran off. Then he went and risked his life without reason. I mean, there are three other zero pointers judging by the multiple fake-cities shown in the manga and anime. The Zero pointer is not designed to be a death trap, it's designed to be something to make them run away from it because it looks big and scary even though it is to slow to actually kill anyone. Uraraka being trapped by rubble isn't the norm, it's the exception.
Total score range 8020100 to 14030170. Probably about 12025145. Honestly, I would have been rather interested to see what Kacchan's reaction would have been to Deku getting almost double his score. Also, Deku would have been able be the example tester during Eraserhead's tests and the one to represent the first years at the UA sports festival.
Now, the trick to slowing himself down is a reverse portal acceleration or a Portal Trampoline; the first is better but the second is easier. Furthermore, at the very least, he could use portal trampolines to travel over to a lamp post and initiate a proper portal deceleration.
Portal deceleration: Basically both methods, portal acceleration and portal deceleration, use the planet's electromagnetic field to manipulate the target's current velocity. It's all about whether the user is going up or down when passing through the portals really.
He goes down through the portal, he pops up being slowed slightly but not enough so a second portal above him sends him back through and then repeats until he has almost no momentum. Then a portal on a wall has him jog to a stop so he doesn't jostle his arm and comes out looking like he knew exactly what he was doing. But he may not be able to position himself close to a lamp post if his portal has already closed on the lamp post. :(
So... Option two.
Portal Trampoline is less effective but could potentially work almost as well but take longer to pull off. He basically falls into the portal like the first one and is thrown upwards, then falls back through again and again until he reaches a stable point of velocity. In other words, a constant amount of mass... Deku for instance... constantly falling into the portals due to gravity will eventually level out to a consistent max-speed regardless of if that is faster or slower than their initial speed. Now... this may take a while and, it might still not be a particularly safe speed, but it would likely be slow enough for him to throw a portal on the side of a building and roll to a stop with only a broken bone or two and some scraped skin. With his broken arm, it would probably hurt... but he would almost certainly survive.
Now... I'm off to read the next chapter! Science Nerdeek AWAY!
| phelipebr chapter 12 . 1/13
| bajy chapter 12 . 1/12
Looking forward to reading the next chapter!
Izuku teleportation quirk One for all quirkthis is going to be super awesome!
| LD 1449 chapter 10 . 1/12
Well. For your first fic its not *terrible* as in, I wanna claw my eyes out. But... its not particularly 'good' either. I'm not gonna go into detail unless you want me to but before you say you do, be warned that this fic is pretty much gonna need a full revamp from top to bottom to bring it up to snuff.