Reviews for Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Pathways of Aspiration
Dusk-Form chapter 1 . 8/31
Chapter 1
Alright, let’s start with saying that you did an AMAZING job at describing… well, everything. Especially the ambience – well done.
Now, let’s get to our characters.
The human. I don’t know what drove them to where they were at the beginning, but I guess time will tell. Their death – I assume they died – felt incredibly… depressing, and yet it gives off a feeling of relief, for some reason. Very well-written.
The Raichu. She is… surprisingly relatable. The feeling when someone gives you something you don’t want or need, but you don’t want to seem ungrateful, so you accept it anyway is… far too common. Which is good; as I said, it makes the character relatable. And I love the parallels made between her and the human throwing their badge and DS in the water respectively. I honestly can’t wait to see how this goes.
Magykool chapter 39 . 7/21
I should have read this ages ago. The consequence of having a large reading backlog. But I finally did it, I've made it. Spoilers ahead for anyone reading this.

At the beginning, I'll admit I had a couple doubts. I had excepted a Bagon who was marginally self-aware of his own fate as a human, who would save the world from some disaster or whatever. Instead, he was a human plucked from his monotomy with a second chance to be something more than a humble accountant, and to my bigger surprise, even that didn't end in sunshine and rainbows. I could definitely relate to Chimera's plight even to the bitter end. He just wanted to be remembered, and it's up in the air whether that actually happens or not.

You had the delight of seeing some of my thoughts and commentary in private as I read on, but this time I'm leaving my thoughts as a whole just minutes after reading the end.

I'm going to continue this review by going over Argon. She definitely had the most development out of anyone else in the story, and she more than deserved it. You've shown that evolution isn't required to continue or advance one's character development, as Argon was already fully evolved and working at the guild. Her basic guild life wasn't too different to Chimera's human life, except hers had the potential to be so much greater and initially she didn't want any of that. Although it's pretty lucky she refused any promotions, or she might have been one of those guards herself. All it took was for her to give one Pallid mercy that set all of this in motion, and I'm glad she wasn't just a partner thrown into saving the world, but rather she gave herself an active role in helping to change it. It's not easy to fight your friend to change the world, either, and I can commend the way you orchestrated that. She grew so much, and I hope there's an epilogue one day where she's sitting comfortably next to Eoin in a changed Faire.

When Eoin first showed up as an enemy in a dungeon, I honestly hadn't thought much of it, just a pallid that Argon had felt sorry for. Then he showed up on that fateful night at the guild, and I was a mixture of grumbling at myself and others (*Insert joke grumble about EoinOwen from HoC here*). I'll admit I hadn't seen it coming, as I was more focused on the growing relationship between Chimera and Argon and their quest for the time gears. I like Eoin, I really do. But I feel that his relationship with Argon at the beginning was...rushed. He shows up, they dance, eat together after that, she saves him from exposing himself, and then they're kinda-confessing on a snowy mountain. It's cute, but I would have preferred a little more substance before they got together (especially because I was in the Chimera x Argon camp very much before this). They had cute and deep scenes together, but, I dunno, I wanted more.

Binair and Cerise absolutely need an epilogue one day to give them the satisfactory end they kind of deserve. I don't like Binair. I mean, I do as a character, but if I met him personally I wouldn't like him. Poor Chimera. Cerise never gets that date with the Bagon she dueled with the entire way through, and after the Chimera x Argon ship sank, I was all for this one and a happy ending for Mr. Bagon. It's a shame they didn't get more time, even though they got plenty. I would have liked to have seen more from Cerise/Sophia, what they do after the revolution and such. Would she instead use the time gears to find a way back to Chimera, once she learns of his fate?

Smaller notes. What happened to Uxie, Mesprit and Azelf (Imagining the trio play DnD in person is rather amusing, I'll admit)? Do they have that council with Dialga? Are Pallids repurposed to have their own lives? The revolution should have expanded on this too, I feel. Though given your previously stated time constraints, I know some things had to be omitted for the sake of finishing. I look forward to one day seeing the aftermath of it all, if it ever comes to light. Either way, I am content with the story as-is.

Thank you for the read, Bugle, I'd recommend this to any fan looking for something a bit different in their PMD.
Neirdae chapter 8 . 3/9
I want to like this story. It's got some interesting characters, and great worldbuilding.
But the prose is just too clunky for me. Moments that take less than five seconds gain paragraphs that break the flow.
Like last chapter: Argon swears to herself when Chimera knocks and hopes he didn't hear that, then completely ignored the stuff that crashed down afterwards.

Some people love prose, your writing style just isn't for me.
Neirdae chapter 4 . 3/4
Interesting world you're building here. Lots of characters with different personalities.
I am going to critique your excessive prose though. It feels like there's a paragraph of prose, then almost a time skip between scenes. Pokemon and items feel like they pop in and out of existence as necessary.
For example, when the team ate lunch, there was no mention of fruit, but when they start flying again, it's suddenly brought up as they eat it.

Anyways, I'm looking forward to what you do with this world.
Tezral chapter 39 . 2/2
Amazing. Simply amazing. Such talent. I don't know what to say. I cannot stop shivering. I should be sleeping, but I simply couldn't go to bed before finishing the story. I read most of it today, and...

I just... He... He went back. Just like that, after months and months of discovering, exploring, working, growing. No final redemption. No world saved. Only a broken friendship, now a mere strand kept by a promise to Argon she won't ever be able to know if he hold it. With it is a revolution which conclusion will forever be hidden from Chimera. Eoin will forever be split between his new and former self, the latter merely able to keep himself from attacking on sight.

I'm sorry, I'm not used to something else than happy endings. It's still a great one, even better than just "Chimera decides to betray Binair because friendship". What bothers me the most is that there's, at least for now if I read correctly, no epilogue about Argon and Eoin, nor anything about the following weeks of the revolution. I believe it went well, even if nothing would be over in a single night, while Argon would surely need to rest, physically but mostly emotionnally, after what Chimera did to her.

It was a great story. It really knocked me out of my chair. I hope everything is going well for you ! I'm looking forward the epilogue you promise in the Final Author's Notes !
TropicalCyclone chapter 37 . 12/4/2020
aaaaaaaaaa this was detroit: become human all along, how could I ever not notice this.
CuriousQuinlan chapter 1 . 7/19/2020
Test
TheG0AT chapter 17 . 7/18/2020
Howdy bugle!

I’ve been listening to your fic at work and figured I’d stop here to leave a review. Originally I planned to delve deeper into Eoin’s introductory arc, but it’s the weekend and I have plenty to say anyway.

Listening rather than reading with my eyes was an interesting experiment, and as a result I can’t help but wonder if I might’ve missed some intricacies with the prose. Still, my previous notes on that area still stand: it’s purple in some places, but continues to improve. Given that I’m right around halfway done with what you’ve published so far, the rate of improvement suggests you likely don’t even have issues with purple prose anymore. Thus, I won’t touch on it in great detail unless I notice something noteworthy. I know over-fancifying things can be a difficult habit to shake, so trust me when I say you’ve done an excellent job so far.

First of all, props for introducing a third primary character into the mix in such organic fashion. While it’s true that Eoin appeared out of the blue during the party scene, that’s also not entirely true — he was a previous character, but he was one that the reader was more or less expected to forget about. When I previously thought back to the scene where Chimera fought him, I didn’t even really think of the random Charmander as a character at all. I think that’s something a lot of PMD readers tend to do with feral randoms; they regard them as placeholders, in a sense, whose purpose it is to test the important characters of the story rather than become ones themselves. I can’t help but give you loads of credit for turning this concept on its head in a way that feels premeditated and purposeful. Purposeful especially, since I’m inclined to believe that the properties behind what pallids really are is becoming a serious focal point of the story. All of the sudden I’ve got all these questions: what exactly differentiates between pallids and non-pallids on an interpersonal level, how could more pallids be led into society, what can be done about Eoin’s “beast” in order to allow for this in the first place, etc… And then, of course, the moral questions. Should pallid lives be considered equivalent to non-pallid lives? If and when Eoin’s situation is revealed, how will society react? It really seems like the rising action is in full swing.

Eoin the person strikes me as flighty and hasty, which is pretty much what I’d expect from a creature that developed critical thinking skills a month ago. He also strikes me as genuine, and, when you really get through to him, cooperative. I like him. I think he had a point about already being more civilized than Chimera, even though he wasn’t privy to some of Chimera’s ruder moments (see previous review lol).

What’s that? Do I ship Eoin and Argon? …It’s not out of the question. A couple more chapters at this level of bonding, and I might just have to give this pairing the Goat seal of approval. On a more serious note, I really like their chemistry already. I like how Argon wasn’t expecting to effectively talk with anyone at the party, only for one of her previous good deeds to come back and bless her when she least expected it. I like how confident and validated that seemed to make her feel. Eoin is responsible for making me like Argon more, which is the sort of thing that gets me invested in the bond between two characters.

I’ll get back to you later when I’m further in, but for now, consider me re-hooked.
Fusion Phoenix chapter 3 . 2/8/2020
I am loving this story so far! I loved the parallels in the prologue, and the contrast in how both your characters think! The way you describe the view from the cliff is great, and your description of the cold, frozen harbor gave me chills!

I think I’ve forgotten how great fan fictions can be, and I’m glad I decided to read yours first.

The only problems I could really see were some simple grammar errors and typos, but there are very few of them in these first few chapters. Keep up the great work!
cynsh chapter 3 . 1/4/2020
It's nice to read a story with shorter chapters for a change. Much easier to decide where to stop and review. Right, anyway.

At first I wasn't sure what was happening in the prologue. I like the ideas here, pushing boulders and such, but given this is the very first thing we read, I wonder if some more, uh, conventional description might have been helpful. Then again, upon reading back it is clear what happened to Chimera, so it might just be me.

I like the first line. But the second and third line don't really add anything IMO. I get what you want to emphasise - if it were me, I would write the first paragraph as something like: 'He was tired. As always.' Shorter and snappier.

In general, you have a habit of making sentences long-winded when they don't need to be. Here's an example from chapter 2: 'When forced into a situation were life became a fickle thing, it took a couple seconds for him to realize that the gesture had an intention of preserving it'. This could be rewritten as, say, 'His life felt so fickle then, it took him a moment to realise that this was a gesture intended to preserve it'. This sort of thing is just a matter of practice though I think, and careful editing.

My final boring point is that there are some typos, and they're of a particular kind: you often use 'were' instead of 'where', or the wrong form of a word - for example, in chapter 2 it should be 'THEY'RE not like most seeds', rather than 'there'. I assume these aren't typos easily picked up by word processors. So again, just be careful with that.

Chimera's behaviour is quite strange. I like him being temporarily blind to start with. But if I was temporarily blind, and knew that eating some seed (by the way, is the seed floating up into his hand a nod to how pokemon without much dexterity can handle items? If so, cool!) would cure the blindness, I would get that thing down ASAP. Yet Chimera seems to see this whole experience as... I dunno, something with a deeper meaning. Bringing in the Adam & Eve story adds to this feeling. That itself seems odd on further reflection, becuase doesn't Chimera think he's falling into some paradise world, rather than the one of sin Adam & Eve are punished with?

Also surprised that Chimera firstly knew he had to break the seed in half, and knew how to do it, AND that he then offers a half to Argon. And, finally, I was surprised by how bold Chimera speaks when he's still blind. And his walking around on the beach. If I were blind I'd be terrified of going anywhere. Perhaps that's just the 'this is a perfect world' effect on him though. Oh, and he jumps off a cliff. Hmmm.

Can't say too much about Argon right now, but her backstory's interesting. Seems like she's got good potential to grow as a character (though not in a physical sense, har har). There were some nice little touches you included too, like how she used electricity to light their fire. I love Pokemon using their abilities to solve problems in interesting ways.

Hope this was helpful. Thanks for the read :)
MadderJacker chapter 2 . 1/1/2020
So you told me to not stop reviewing?( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡)
Secret Santa chapter 4 . 12/29/2019
Merry (late) Christmas! Wanted to make sure there was enough meat to the review, so that ended up getting it posted today instead of on the 25th. Sorry about that.

One thing that you do that's really clever is opening your chapters with pronouns. It immediately lets readers know whose head they're in, and implying the character rather than outright stating their name cements a sort of intimacy that really helps immersion.

There are times, however, where it'd be better to just say the character's name. You tend to use epithets like "the raichu" or "the bagon" a bit too much. When their species is relevant to what's happening, or what they're doing, go for it, but it seems like you're just doing it to avoid repeating the character's name. That makes sense in concept, but in practice it just leaves me wondering why you felt the need to highlight their species.

Somewhat similarly, you personify body parts so that you're not reusing the same subject for your sentences. Again, I understand the reasoning, but it just leaves me confused as to why you're doing it. Making the body part the actor implies a disconnect between the character and their appendage. Use it like that instead of just to change the subject of the sentence.

I can tell that you like to play with sentence structure. At its best, the varying syntax makes your story more fun to read, but sometimes you just make the sentence longer than it needs to be. Like when Chimera's flippers "shook like they were rubber," you could just say, "shook like rubber." Shortening it adds a bit more punch to the simile. There's also the sentence, "Still, looking toward the Mantine found her certifications were as close to genuine as Argon could tell," could be similarly shortened to, "Still, as far as Argon could tell, the Mantine's certifications were genuine," to much of the same effect.

Some dialogue paragraphs float on their own even though character action of the character speaking happens directly before or after the quote. Bit of a nitpick, but if it's just in the same paragraph, it's much clearer which character is speaking.

Speaking of dialogue, the Catalina's voice feels inconsistent. I can't get a voice in my head that would both say, "Jolly good show," and "wanna take a piss." Careful with that. You seem to have a good handle on Chimera and Argon's voices, so put the same work into the secondary characters. It helps really immerse readers in your world.

Then, sometimes it's just confusing. Like the sentence, "The Bagon seemed to have regained control over himself, gesturing inwardly towards Argon in a way that eclipsed his previous terror." It just leaves me confused. What is gesturing inwardly? How can you gesture inwardly and towards someone? What about the gesture has to do with his previous terror? You're putting too much into this sentence, and it clutters up its meaning.

Your world, by the way, is wonderfully built. I love how you describe the town they're flying over. It puts a distinct, clear image in my mind that also serves to show the world's more industrialized than your standard PMD setting. You make it clear without directly stating it, and it's great.

What makes this even better is Chimera retains his memories. Having him compare the world before him to the world he left behind makes it that much cooler. The world's a lot like our own, but different in meaningful ways that make it feel fantastical. Utopian, even. Eight hour workdays, bosses sincerely concerned with their underlings' happiness, paid vacation time, it's so great a world that it has me excited to see how you're gonna destroy it.

Finally, I love your use of seemingly innocuous observations from characters that serve to very clearly declare their mindsets. When Chimera's thinking about the orange, I can tell very clearly this is a metaphor that extends beyond the fruit in question. Spicy. But, like with all spices, too much can ruin the dish. It's great, but don't do it too much. You haven't so far, so maybe the warning's unwarranted, but oh well.

Now, to reveal myself. But just saying who I am isn't any fun, so here's a riddle:

My shape may change, but my caller stays the same;
Though it may seem strange, we're playing the same game.
I don't work the grange, nor do I fight for fame;
Seek my species' mange, there you'll find my name.
Secret Santa chapter 4 . 12/27/2019
Merry (late) Christmas! Wanted to make sure there was enough meat to the review, so that ended up getting it posted today instead of on the 25th. Sorry about that.

One thing that you do that's really clever is opening your chapters with pronouns. It immediately lets readers know whose head they're in, and implying the character rather than outright stating their name cements a sort of intimacy that really helps immersion.

There are times, however, where it'd be better to just say the character's name. You tend to use epithets like "the raichu" or "the bagon" a bit too much. When their species is relevant to what's happening, or what they're doing, go for it, but it seems like you're just doing it to avoid repeating the character's name. That makes sense in concept, but in practice it just leaves me wondering why you felt the need to highlight their species.

Somewhat similarly, you personify body parts so that you're not reusing the same subject for your sentences. Again, I understand the reasoning, but it just leaves me confused as to why you're doing it. Making the body part the actor implies a disconnect between the character and their appendage. Use it like that instead of just to change the subject of the sentence.

I can tell that you like to play with sentence structure. At its best, the varying syntax makes your story more fun to read, but sometimes you just make the sentence longer than it needs to be. Like when Chimera's flippers "shook like they were rubber," you could just say, "shook like rubber." Shortening it adds a bit more punch to the simile. There's also the sentence, "Still, looking toward the Mantine found her certifications were as close to genuine as Argon could tell," could be similarly shortened to, "Still, as far as Argon could tell, the Mantine's certifications were genuine," to much of the same effect.

Then, sometimes it's just confusing. Like the sentence, "The Bagon seemed to have regained control over himself, gesturing inwardly towards Argon in a way that eclipsed his previous terror." It just leaves me confused. What is gesturing inwardly? How can you gesture inwardly and towards someone? What about the gesture has to do with his previous terror? You're putting too much into this sentence, and it clutters up its meaning.

Some dialogue paragraphs float on their own even though character action of the character speaking happens directly before or after the quote. Bit of a nitpick, but if it's just in the same paragraph, it's much clearer which character is speaking.

Speaking of dialogue, the Catalina's voice feels inconsistent. I can't get a voice in my head that would both say, "Jolly good show," and "wanna take a piss." Careful with that. You seem to have a good handle on Chimera and Argon's voices, so put the same work into the secondary characters. It helps really immerse readers in your world.

Your world, by the way, is wonderfully built. I love how you describe the town they're flying over. It puts a distinct, clear image in my mind that also serves to show the world's more industrialized than your standard PMD setting. You make it clear without directly stating it, and it's great.

What makes this even better is Chimera retains his memories. Having him compare the world before him to the world he left behind makes it that much cooler. The world's a lot like our own, but different in meaningful ways that make it feel fantastical. Utopian, even. Eight hour workdays, bosses sincerely concerned with their underlings' happiness, paid vacation time, it's so great a world that it has me excited to see how you're gonna destroy it.

Finally, I love your use of seemingly innocuous observations from characters that serve to very clearly declare their mindsets. When Chimera's thinking about the orange, I can tell very clearly this is a metaphor that extends beyond the fruit in question. Spicy. But, like with all spices, too much can ruin the dish. It's great, but don't do it *too* much. You haven't so far, so maybe the warning's unwarranted, but oh well.

Now, to reveal myself. But just saying who I am isn't any fun, so here's a riddle:

My shape may change, but my caller stays the same;
Though it may seem strange, we're playing the same game.
I don't work the grange, nor do I fight for fame;
Seek my species' mange, there you'll find my name.
C. Pariah chapter 10 . 12/17/2019
I noticed that at the start of the chapter Dungeon Crawl Dilemma, Argon is referred to as "she" before being referred to by name. This isn't that big an issue since Chimera is male and Argon is female, therefore the pronoun is enough to tell us who is being referred to, but it might be something to think about for future reference.

As for the game of "fire, water, grass" and how it can be played in-universe, since it is of little plot relevance, my suggestion would be to leave it to the reader's imagination for fun. You know, like Calvinball.

I would like to praise the sequence of events of Chimera and Argon getting off the ship, arriving on the island, and descending into the cavern for having a natural flow. I reviewed another story in which the protagonists are also on a ship, only the scene cuts from the captain setting off, to the protagonists already exploring the dungeon, which I found to be rather abrupt. I understand that if you want to have a scene like that of characters mundanely using a rowboat to get from the ship to the dungeon, you have to fill it with something, so your exposition about feral Pokémon works well enough. And the reader is obviously going to be wondering why Pallids are named that, what they look like, and what they do, so you certainly know how to get your audience hooked, and how to subsequently deliver on your promise of something fascinating.

In regards to the fight against the Pallid Charmander, it was a great opportunity to showcase how Chimera can fight without access to many of the moves a Bagon would normally have. But more important is this: it challenges Chimera's attempts to rationalize not thinking about the moral questions that come with fighting from before they went down into the dungeon, and makes the whole affair more complicated than in the games. From those lines of Chimera deciding, "They don't exist for long, it doesn't matter what you do to them", the reader can get the feeling something to contradict his attitude is going to happen, and that finishing off his opponents (assuming he meant killing them as opposed to just KOing them) will not be as easy as he thinks. This also ties in with the overarching theme I've noticed about this version of the Pokémon world being less glamorous than presented in the games, where you wouldn't even think about things like this.

I noticed you also peppered the chapter with tiny scraps of information that get me wondering how they're going to be relevant later, such as the green object the Charmander is holding. You do that a lot in this story and it keeps the reader from being too clueless or uninterested about where the story will go next.

Also, borrowing the idea of Pallids is fine. If it wasn't, then fanfiction as a whole would not be okay either. Hopefully, this honrupi person would be quite flattered to see someone else using the idea and giving proper credit.

I'm gonna come clean and say I guessed early that the Raichu Argon meets isn't really her mother. But that's perfectly fine! It shows you're good at leaving blink-and-you'll-miss-it things throughout your writing (Argon noticing inconsistencies in what her "mother" is telling her, then feeling like some intangible force is watching her, and the title of the chapter itself, etc.) I have learnt to take heed of. I'm now getting the feeling whoever is behind the illusion was also behind Sean's end, assuming he is dead.

But yeah, I'll point out that this chapter has another instance of starting a new paragraph even though it's the same speaker and there are no actions in between. This could trip the reader up and confuse them as to who's speaking.

One of the biggest strengths I can determine about your story is that it's unlike anything written prior or since. You've got a Bagon protagonist (and not exclusively for the sake of being different, because you use lore about how Bagon in the games act), a clear-cut level to which technology has advanced so far that can be equated with a level in the history of the human world (Renaissance, I believe?), and a unique variant of Pokémon only otherwise available in a different creator's world entirely. I can't wait to learn more about them!
C. Pariah chapter 8 . 12/6/2019
With Chapter 4 done, we now know what Argon was talking about in the prologue. And with that part at the beginning of this chapter regarding tragedy, presumably what you're implying here is that Sean never came back from that expedition. That certainly does explain the whole thing with Argon in the prologue. And it ties neatly in with how this world isn't as glamorous as how we perceive it in the games; when people embark on dangerous expeditions, they may die, even if they're experienced, and such an event is horribly tragic for their loved ones. The games somewhat glossed over that part.

And I commend you for doing your research on how cameras used to be since you're going for some level of human technology in this world, but not remotely as advanced as what we have in real life at this time.

There is a minor continuity error I wanna point out though. First, Sean says he commissioned the painting, then shortly thereafter, he says he and Argon's mother made the painting themselves.

Also, something that has caught my attention is the lack of use of past participle. You do use it at some points, but there have been quite a few where it should have been used yet you went with the same past tense narration the story in general is written in. If an event happened prior to you narrating it, then you need to use "had". For an example:

[When was the last time the Raichu had to prepare for a visitor, nevermind a roommate?]

This pertains to Argon preparing for visitors before this point in time. So:

[[When was the last time the Raichu had had to prepare for a visitor, never mind a roommate?]

But if you don't want to put two of the word "had" right next to each other, you can instead say:

[[When was the last time the Raichu had needed to prepare for a visitor, never mind a roommate?]

The way the flashback is written is fine because you changed the setting of the entire scene. Writing the entirety of that in past participle would have been awkward.

Also:

["Rise and shine Chimera, time for a knew day."]

["Rise and shine, Chimera. Time for a new day."]

FTFY

Moving on. I know a previous reviewer thought it wasn't a good idea for Chimera to tell Argon that the tea "tastes like crap", but the impression I got from the sequence was that it's Chimera's knee-jerk reaction to something he's never tasted before because it's from a completely different world. But then once he gets past that instinctual reaction, he realizes it's not quite that bad, and continues drinking it. So that's all well and good.

When Binair points to Chimera's badge, there is some dialogue attached, but then you start a new paragraph for Binair to speak again. If it's the same speaker and there is nothing between the two paragraphs of that speaker speaking, you probably don't need to start a new paragraph. You should either merge them or sandwich something between them. Maybe some thoughts of Chimera's.

Chimera being able to think of absolutely nothing when trying to figure out what "hoops" is doesn't seem natural. I personally would have thought of basketball. Again, just a very minor nitpick.

Even if Binair doesn't exactly endear himself to the reader by not giving Chimera a fair chance to win the game, it does make for some worldbuilding regarding how society works when its members are all different sizes and power levels. And since he's the presider of the WFG, he has a responsibility to teach lessons like this.

Not only was Chimera groveling at Binair's feet humorous to read (not least because of Argon noting it to sound rehearsed), it also brought to mind a situation in real life in which your boss threatens to fire you. Quite fitting for Chimera's character if I do say so myself, considering what we know of his human life.

However, when Binair says "thick-skinned", the context he says it in means it should have been "thin-skinned".

...Yep. I had a suspicion of what Chimera was about to do at the start of the story, and this talk he and Argon have is only piling on more evidence.

Anyhow, I think you found a good point for the truth to come out regarding Chimera being human. Before, it was reasonable for him to keep it to himself for fear he wouldn't be taken seriously, but now it's gotten to the point where it's not believable that he's any ordinary Bagon yet is behaving the way he is.

And now let's talk about Chimera knowing how to build a crossbow. At the start of the sequence when I didn't know what he was building, I found it a little Farfetch'd (Castaway, master of comedy at your service) that someone who knows how to build stuff didn't have a lucrative career he was happy with back when he was human. But when it turned out to be a crossbow, it seemed more legit because that's not too complex, and just because he knows how to build that doesn't necessarily mean he knows how to build things much bigger and more complicated. Argon noting it to be a little crude helped; something from a professional probably would not look the same. So, you handled it pretty well.

I love the fleshing out of this story's main duo in this chapter. We've learned a lot about their skills and interests, and relating to that, I also appreciate the parallel between Chimera and Argon. Both have a penchant for creation, only with Chimera, it's physical objects, and with Argon, it's music. This also serves to highlight the desirability of the Pokémon world over the human world. The one from the human world creates things used to get work done, and the one from the Pokémon world creates things that bring pleasure to those who hear them (I know I said in my last review that they turned out to be not so different, but they aren't identical and it would be silly to say they are. Besides, you established Chimera has more hope for this world than his home world).

So yeah, you sure know how to make these chapters fun and enjoyable. Will be reading some more!
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