Reviews for Ashes on the Water
ChaoSpaceMarine chapter 30 . 12/4/2020
Yep, Azura's scared the SM might not be alone, or that he was sent by the Void Pantheon, or both. You don't just disrupt a plane of oblivion and get away with it.
Good chapter. A bit short, but it elucidates a lot.
ChaoSpaceMarine chapter 29 . 11/20/2020
Not too sure how Serana's "Companion" would react to her bargaining answers from a heathen god/Greater Daemon.
Great stuff, keep up the good work.
Darakyon chapter 28 . 10/17/2020
Fantastic update. The conversation Serana has with the guard was very well done and surprisingly effective in the emotional sense with the less known but no less prevalent aspects of Nordic culture creating a toxic family environment, it was juxtaposed very well with Serena’s own opinion and the fact that this immortal magical being is somewhat shocked by their cultural environment.

Looking forward to more man.
theseeker64 chapter 1 . 7/30/2020
This story is so good. Though... I think it could be better. Let's examine this first sentence, shall we?

"It began with a thin tendril of water trickling in."

Not bad. But... what about this? Starting a story with the word 'It' is just FUNKY yo. Let's make it a more memorable word, like... 'Butterscotch'. Good good. Also 'thin tendril'? Sort of redundant don't you think? Let's use 'skinny noodle' instead. Water is SO last year, replace that with chocolate. And 'trickling in' could easily be rewritten to 'coming in at a slow pace' which is a crisper and snappier wording. So, to recap, our new sentence is:

"Butterscotch began with a skinny noodle of chocolate coming in at a slow pace."

SO much better, honestly. Though... I don't know, man. Butterscotch? What is that all about? Weird choice, just use 'it' and don't get fancy. Skinny noodle... has to be a better phrase than that. Chocolate makes no sense just go with something more normal like... I don't know, water? And 'coming in at a slow pace' is terrible writing. Just say 'trickling in' and get to the point! So, to recap, our new sentence is this:

"It began with a thin tendril of water trickling in."

You're welcome. That'll be 200 dollars.
Axccel chapter 23 . 7/30/2020
"Rubbery grey material" between the joints? The heck is that supposed to be? The parts of Astartes powered armor not protected by plates are made of plasteel. The stuff that gives Terminator armor it's resilience. Your better off shooting the plate than the joints for that reason, it's practically a honey trap and I wouldn't be surprised if the armor quality there was specifically to trick enemies into attacking what they think is a vulnerability. Much like how the face equipment of an Astartes helmet is backed by an armored plate, not a direct lead to the face. This was in First Edition where there's a breakdown of Astartes armor. So, shooting him in the eye or face grill would do nothing.
Darakyon chapter 26 . 7/24/2020
The inner turmoil of Mortis is captured well. The uneasy tension between Serana and the Marine is like a powder keg just waiting to burst. Serana doesn’t seem to know how to approach Mortis, nor he her. That lack of communication could cost both of them in combat, although I feel Serana would be worse off with Mortis being an Astarte and all.

Looking forward to more.
notACheeseburger chapter 26 . 7/24/2020
"Wait, it's all college?"

The cold barrel of a boltgun pressed up against the back of his helm.

"Always has been."
rc48177 chapter 24 . 5/21/2020
well, things are starting to pick up. And it only took the 'death' of the POV character we knew for 20 chapters. Yup, this is Warhammer alright
artilyon-rand chapter 24 . 5/21/2020
Can't say this enough but I do love you AstarAstartes so far and well yeah all the better cause we are watching from Seranas PoV which s always nice, how odd of a creature he is.
Nathanial1993 chapter 24 . 5/16/2020
Fantastic work Once again my friend _ I read your original story years ago and you have only improved! Never apologize for taking your time with a story.

It only means the wait is worth it with the care you put into it!
Eipok chapter 23 . 4/14/2020
Sad, but beautiful. I only hope this Space Marine's story is told with the same care that Cedric's was, but I'm sure he will. Can't wait for the next chapter!
ksgrip chapter 23 . 4/13/2020
So you truly decided to kill Cedric... Honestly that was my main draw to read the story. I guess this is goodbye.
Le Epic Gamer chapter 6 . 3/18/2020
s i m p
artilyon-rand chapter 22 . 3/9/2020
Ohohoho this was such treat! Yes haha the last 21 chapters were such built up to this point its didnt dissapoint man...so great, really like your style
Bob the Turtle chapter 22 . 3/7/2020
TEAM UP! PARTY MEMBER GET!

God damn was excited to see this in my feed! Shame that Cedric is dead though.
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