Reviews for Neon Genesis Evangelion: Parallel
JonBob0008 chapter 13 . 2/20/2005
Yes, I did change this chapter, but only the last section of it. Steve Vader complained about the chapter and one of his complaints was that Asuka was OOC at the end of the 13th chapter. So I redid the ending of the chapter so that Asuka was more in character. There were some other minor chages elsewhere, but that was the bulk of it. The changes begin right after the angel battle.
Tabris chapter 1 . 2/20/2005
Dude you didn't acually change any thing with the last update it still the same chapter oh well keep writing.
Tabris chapter 1 . 2/6/2005
Please update U beg of you I love this story please please.
Tabris chapter 1 . 1/1/2005
Very good story you have hear I admire that you chose to something other than a post 3rd impact fic. This fic is both imagnitive and witty great job and keep updating.
NuclearMage chapter 13 . 10/4/2004
Whatever you do, dont make a ACC Eva pilot. Most other fics crash and literally burn because of it. Like Steve VADER said as quote "Another point against an ACC pilot is the fact that you already have a well developed ACC with an

important role." And if you ARE going to make an ACC dont make them as the Childern,it sound so stupid to hear 6th or 7th Childern
deathumi chapter 13 . 10/2/2004
Definatly nice though it seems to have been a long time since you wrote but nice anyway, and yeah i dont get all those words acc, au and all the other stuff so if you can, will you please post it on the next chapter? Thanx
Rusty Knights Productions chapter 13 . 10/2/2004
Well, you have an ok fanfic here. Some good humor too, but torturing Shinji isn't fun. Also, that coming ACC sounds bad but we'll see...
Steve VADER chapter 13 . 10/1/2004
A mostly well written chapter. The style is great as always, but sadly, the plot wasn't up to par with prior chapters.

1: The appearance of the fifth was a rather big mistake. Not that you used it, but the way you did it.

Rewriting the battle to make an A/S team possible seems at first rushed. The begin of the

battle, where Asuka isn't hit as hard as Shinji was in the series, and 01 looses conveniently an arm, is

far too constructed to be taken serious.

The entire scene reads rather like an A/S fanboy dream than an actual scene of a so far good story.

You should kick your ideas guy several times for it. It was the idea of a fanboy, and that's how it

came out. Compared to the quality of this story so far, it is completely disappointing, because it looks simply dumb.

2: Considering Asuka's characterization in the prior chapters, along with her acting in the begin

of this chapter, the end of the chapter doesn't work. It looks as if someone cried "WUAH, Asuka isn't so bad!", and you craved in.

Her action at the end of the chapter doesn't fit for her prior characterization so far.

3: You are wrong. There aren't almost none FFs with ACCpilots. There are none. Point.

Bringing in an ACC pilot is always a very bad idea. The only way to get it accepted is if

you use him or her only for comic relief, portraying the ACC not as person, but as complete looser.

This fits well for pure humour fics, but I don't see it function well in this story. If the ACC is

protrayed serious, you'll have the problem that you need to make the entire characterization first.

Which leads ultimatly to the fact that it will overshadow the original charcters. And the moment you use you ACC for any romance, you are completely doomed.

Another point against an ACC pilot is the fact that you already have a well developed ACC with an

important role. Adding another one will ruin the feeling of the story, making it less NGE-like.

So far, you haven't reveiled the identity of the new pilot. I would advise to use a NGE-charac.

If you don't want to use a charac from the series,

use Mana Kirishima from the NGE-game GoS.

But please forget the ACC.

While well written, this chapter is clearly not up to par with previous ones, and you ideas for the

next chapters (ACC pilot) looks like a try to kill it for good. I don't know why you come up with

ideas that will ruin a story that was so far one of the best.

I am sad to see than another good story is on the way of suddenly ending in a mixture of fanboy fantasy, bad ideas and too much ACCs.

This is my opinion, feel free to E-mail me if you want to talk with me about it.

Friendly greetings,

STEVE
nicknack chapter 13 . 9/30/2004
Man, these last 2 chapters were great!

The whole "rumor stuff around the school" deserves an A.

I've get the impression that, although you decided to make the pairing stuff fair, you are leaving Rei aside(no, I'm not talking about pairings) and just characterizing her as "antisocial freak" (hope you aren't a Rei hater, who "oodly"

enough happens to be a furious Asuka fan)

ACC Pilot!

You're playing with fire in an explosives store.

Careful dude(who'd like another DJ Croft? make us shiver)
mc2rpg chapter 12 . 9/7/2004
I think that so far this story has been absolutely great. I only have one problem, why has Misato taken such an incredible liking to Asuka so quickly? It just seems odd that she would suddenly decide that Asuka was the greatest thing ever and just toss Shinji into a closet. If this keeps up, I am going to end up desperately hoping that Shinhi goes to live with Adams.
sketch404 chapter 12 . 9/4/2004
haha. man Asuka's a b*! lol. i wanted to slap her. but you got her dead on, and i see you're using the Asuka from the manga. I like it. its entertaining, dont get me wrong i love Asuka, but a change from the way most people write her is refreshing.
NuclearMage chapter 12 . 9/3/2004
Ahh...NGE: Parallel one of my favorite fan fics.

Don't stop writing! Adam's a cool character make sure that u put more of him in the story and is it going to be any romance between the pilots..?
Ishagu chapter 11 . 4/8/2004
I don't understand why these updates slip me by. Oh well. Great story, It's funny enough, and I like how everything is working out. I know you probably get this alot, but is there any chance of an A/S relationship? Good luck with the next update.
nicknack chapter 11 . 4/6/2004
Excellent. Great battle scenes, good humor...
Man, can it get better than this?
Dany le fou chapter 11 . 4/6/2004
A water skiing Eva! If you hadn’t used the idea, it would have made a great omake. What's next? Rodeo?
Poor Asuka… Beware of the geeky stalker…
#
OMAKE
“Yeah, yeah.
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