|Reviews for The Human Condition|
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/30
Great story, but make sure you mark this as complete. A lot of people (like me) filter out incomplete stories when searching for new stories. I was lucky enough to stumble on this through Dark Lord Potter.
| xvector chapter 12 . 4/29
So, as I sit here, having read 3/4ths of the story, I have collected many of my thoughts.
The premise of the fic is a good one, but your execution leaves much to be desired. For example -
1. Your characters are very one-dimensional. There's really not much to them - Hermione is the pathetically lovestruck girl, Harry is the impulsive psychopath who all the girls adore, and Ron is the unsure friend of the Boy-Who-Lived. You don't add any dimension to the character - you keep them as they are.
2. Furthermore, Harry is very, very impulsive. Psychopathic at worst and mildly crazy at best, his mood swings are irrational and rather stupid. There were quite a few times reading this where I had to put the story down because Harry said or did something incredibly ignorant or stupid.
3. Your definition of "good" and "evil" is undefined. It's black and white to the extreme. This story could have been so, so much more interesting if you took a "shades of grey" approach to 'evil'. As it stands, the philosophical outlook of just about every single character is childish at best. 'Leucosia is the evil one by author mandate!' Where you could have made Leucosia an in-depth character, you leave her as a shallow caricature of a villain; where you could have made Harry an individual that learnt from his mistakes and grew out of a childish mindset, you did the exact opposite, where he keeps on repeating his mistakes and stays as a child in a man's body.
All in all, your story has an interesting premise, but the execution leaves much to be desired. There was *so much* potential here, but almost all of it was squandered. What could have been an intriguing journey with detailed, thought-provoking characters, events, and emotions is left as a mere skeleton of what it should have been. I criticize your story because you clearly are capable of understanding how important multidimensional characters are, and at some points, you -almost- approach well-thought-out characters - yet every time, you seem to abandon it completely, devolving into a childish parade of 'good' and 'evil', leaving me confused and wanting for more substance.
This fic could have been phenomenal, but it remains a guilty pleasure at best.
| IcShenninagans chapter 15 . 12/12/2014
Even though the story was really well written and interesting I have to admit that I really didn't like how the storyplot went.
I think with aubrey not being the villain the story would have been better as I think that it was a little too obvious that you would make her the villain.
It still is your story though, so there is not much more I can do than write a review.
To conclude my review i will just say that it was still a good story despite the things i did not like about it.
| Random number generator chapter 13 . 8/27/2013
Danger of starvation? What happened with Feeding Charms mentioned at beginning?
| Random number generator chapter 10 . 8/27/2013
Hermione confronting her was quite absurd, if he was right - what would happen?
| Random number generator chapter 9 . 8/27/2013
Attempted murder during trial that is ignored is out of place even for wizards.
| Marilee Susan Way chapter 8 . 3/9/2013
This is honestly the most thrilling, engaging, can't put it down story I've ever come across. When Harry was all of a sudden married and a father I nearly fainted from shock! Mostly that was because I remembered all the clues... the huge and wonderful foundation you laid for this. It was absolutely brilliant. And now, I'm over halfway through and dying to get my theories about where this is going written out: It all comes back to Sirius' warning doesn't it? Firstly, the obvious one was watch your back for a traitor. So then the question became who? who would betray him. When Ron started slipping in his likeability it became obvious it was him... how stinking cliche right? But wait! It's not Ron at all is it! Luecosia (or however you spelled it... probably a clue) is a girl, a very smart, powerful girl who knows about Harry's life and knows quite well how to manipulate Lucius Malfoy making it obviously Fermions. But that's not even it, you sly slyyyyyy dog you. How many times have you said it, it's all about the foundation, about the parents who raised you and woopsie Hermione's parents are nuts. Ah, you are a stinking genius thank you so much for writing and sharing this
| forTheLoveOfHades chapter 14 . 12/21/2012
\love it! it this story complete?
| c0q chapter 14 . 12/22/2011
This is a very interesting and well-thought-out story. Which is quite high praise considering when it was written. Not to mention the fact that this in now the second time I've read it.
Overall, this story has it's strengths; Many of the characterizations of the main characters, and the struggles they face/overcome. The flow of the plot, which for the most part manages to weave together quite well with canon, and creates quite a realistic series of events.
And it also has it's weaknesses; The main one I feel is the way the confrontation with Audrey played out, and the repercussions therein - Hermione's confrontation with Harry during his self-induced coma is my main gripe. Mainly the fact that Harry, despite being confronted by Hermione, who murdered the woman he loved in front of his daughter and himself, doesn't seem to have a realistic reaction to her, basically preaching gospel to him, when she has no right to do so. I understand that Harry let her in, and I understand what the scene represents, but honestly, with the way you had been leading Harry's character, it doesn't sit right. I feel like he should have resented her a whole lot more than he did, and I felt really let down by the way it panned out. I'm not saying he should have been frothing at the mouth in rage, but I thought he would have thrown her out after her giving him a 'Dumbledore-type-spiel' and throwing loads of guilt-laden-hero-bullshit. But again I can understand why you did what you did, 'The Human Condition' etc.
Anyway, this was a good read, despite whatever misgivings I have about it, they certainly didn't detract too much from the story itself. Well done.
| Stygian Styx chapter 15 . 10/14/2011
Very well done, though the twist was completely obvious. Great story, and the writing still holds up seven years later. Good job.
| bethy2-2 chapter 15 . 2/18/2011
This is one of the better fanfics I've read. The characters were believeable and even have depth, whuch really made this story stand out. I especially liked Hermione in this, you portayed her as a strong character, but not so strong that she never broke down.
The plot kept me interested the whole way through and by the end I was really sad that the story had finished!
Thanks for the great read!
| Lyndon Eye chapter 14 . 4/30/2010
Dear C.K. Talons,
To start off with the criticism: the plotline was convoluted, cliched and required some suspensions of disbelief on the part of the reader. You should have given more development to Harry/Audrey. As it stands, you didn't allow the reader to form any sort of attachment to Audrey before throwing her into the storyline (to be honest, the backstab was entirely predictable).
But I suppose that wasn't the focus of the story. I think your main purpose was to give insight into the intricacies of humans and their emotions. At the very least, you did a great job capturing the complexity of Harry's characters - and for that, I applaud you. I wish you could have explored Ron a bit more (I think you were dismissive of him, and made him incredibly shallow). Round him out and humanize them the way you did Hermione.
Overall, though, it was a good albeit wordy story. I hope you keep writing and refining your style.
| Karnen chapter 15 . 12/31/2009
Well written! I applaud you on a successful and both entertaining and stimulating read!
| thedeadgirlepilogues chapter 15 . 12/4/2009
This story was addicting! Great job! The characterization was really well done. I like how you added that little "bonus track". I also really loved how you described Harry's mind when Hermione entered his head. Very creative. All in all, amazing work, 10/10, five stars, whatever you want. Perhaps a hug? *hug* :)
| scaryisntit chapter 9 . 10/25/2009
Brilliant. By far the best trial scene ever written in HP fanfiction.
Now that I reread that, it probably doesn't sound like much. But it was fantastic. Well done.
This is shaping up to be one of the best HP fanfics I've had the pleasure of reading. Considering it's age, that's another achievement in itself.