I am a tad confused, its only been two chapters but i noticed a quirk of your writing. Are Jaune and Blake natural empaths or something? Jaune seems WAY too aware of problems, like a quest system or something. and Blake sensing intent? how does she know his emotions based on footsteps? she has her eyes closed and can't possibly gleam anything more than the fact her was attempting to sneak. Your Pros and dialogue are great but this worldbuilding is personally offputting.

Jaune is Shirou Emiya here, isn't he.

Huh, i think i like this version of Cardin’s redemption a lot. Sure in others he does a 180 and that’s nice and all but having one where he does change but not a 180 is nice and also a lot more realistic. Especially in this short span of time.

Currently on ch 24. Please write something original. If I want to see Emiya, I'll read fate. If you want to copy paste an idea, at least make it better than the original, or else you run the risk of appearing severely lacking in comparison. This MC is pretty meh to begin with, but is completely eclipsed by Emiya and Shiro.

Lets goo cardin redemption!

you really don't like Torchwick and Neo lmao, practically instakilled in both this and your darkness fic.

This man genuinely considering saving the world via child birth. (Jaune)

Badass not-teacher.

Pragmatic, cold jaune is a menace for the cannon storyline.
If he had his semblance since the first two volumes a lot of things could have changed.
This one is already a danger.

A bit cliche starting but still good.

Im reading this again.
Its one of the few stories in this fandom that i like .

I’ll be honest, this fic was just not for me.
I got to the end but by chapter 42 I just kinda scrolled for the chapter, reading the start and end of a characters section.
The original idea interested me, but the jump in power levels so early on showing the final fighters were likely just going to be 3 people kinda bored me.

Most of the other characters just stopped mattering. They were just background noise as you have long walls of text just waiting to get back to the next fight between the main two.

Like I said, this fic was just not for me. I’m sure others loved that idea but it burned out quickly for me and I kept dragging myself along cus I was just curious what the end was and how it got there.

Also I don’t know how you add it since I don’t write fics but perhaps add a “crossover” tag to this since from the sounds of it you changed Jaune out with the character from silverio trinity with how you brought him up for nearly most aspects of Jaune from looks to person.

It infuriates me a little whenever someone in the main cast in fics wants a new weapon or repair and they do it via an outside source.

I know the show forgot it after like the first 2 episodes but Ruby is a weapon nut. She made her own, she is interested in a lot of others. Why would you not use her as the resident blacksmith/gunsmith I choose a random no name shop keeper instead.

boring

honestly getting boring. even if whats happening is different it still seems repetitive