Reviews for PMD: Warped Skies
MinccinoBestMon chapter 6 . 3/22/2019
Wow, this is an amazing chapter.

I have a lot of positives to say about it, but then I have a few things I'd like to note-well, actually one thing that has to do with CH 10.

Anyway, let's go through the chapter. To begin with, I think you captured the severity of the stolen Time Gear well. Second, I liked the way Chatot lamented on not giving them the Waterfall Cave Mission but then came up with a different unique mission. It's also sensible to send a more experienced apprentice with them. I did feel slightly cheated out of seeing the group travel there on foot, but the rest of the chapter makes up for this.

I really enjoyed the way you setup the Ditto's ploy. I think it was a nice touch to setup the teams against one another, since both of them were fighting hard against who they thought were criminals. I enjoyed how Sean managed to let them solve the mystery without tipping his paws too much, and I like how he stopped the fight between teams!

Lastly, I like the way Wigglytuff Guild will add some people here to protect the Time Gear. I hope this is something that has some meaningful impact on the story!

My issue with this chapter has to do with the follow-up in CH 10, where Corphish gets the credit for finding the Time Gear. Sean is the one who finds the secret path, and Sean is the one who stops the fight between Wigglytuff's Guild and the other exploration team. Corphish is definitely the muscle here, but that's all he really is. I think it totally robs Team Ion of their biggest success to have it attributed to Corphish later. It's all three of their successes, with Sean being the root of it.

Overall, though, I really did enjoy this chapter-the fight scenes were good, and the dialogue flows well. So good job!
Ant4456 chapter 12 . 3/22/2019
Is Sean gonna reveal he knew what was happening soon? That's what I'm waiting to see, truly. It's like dramatic irony to an extreme right now.
Spaik-W chapter 12 . 3/22/2019
What an interesting chapter.

Something I really like about reading fics like this is that you can see what specifically the author changed, and try to figure out why.

First, Grovyle's stealing of the gem first does but soundly into character, I loved his gobsmacked reaction to not having the stone.

Also, the part where Sean says," I don't feel any deja vu to r anything. it doesn't feel like Ive been here before." That's important to an earlier idea that has been in my head.

Finally, the confrontation. If I were Sean, I would feel so close to catching him. I love the fact he is still a little in the dark about the storyline. Question, did you freeze Uxie because the being of knowledge is too powerful to keep alive? A problem I had with the original story was that the spirit trio never helped the guild, dispute being powerful assets to their cause. if you plan to freeze all of them, that would make sense to me.

thanks!
MinccinoBestMon chapter 5 . 3/18/2019
Review time.

Okay, so I think Chatot's scenes are the highlights of this chapter. I appreciate how Chatot clings to routine, and the part where he wakes up Wigglytuff by singing a song is just hilarious. I am a bit surprised how spartan Wigglytuff is. I would have that there'd be a basket of Perfect Apples at least for midnight snacks. Likewise, I enjoy how Chatot eavesdrops on Meowth and Shinx at the end of the chapter.

I felt second-hand embarrassment again with the night-mate thing. Corphish is suspicious of Sean's claim of amnesia. Although, Corphish was always a bit skeptical in the games if I remember correctly, so you pull that off well.

I enjoyed the Swellow scene, too. I feel bad for both Swellow and Wurmple, but I'm also glad they have a good team.

The Litleo scene was cool, although I don't know if Litleo honestly thought he could put a wedge in a team with some vague statements about how Rai is unreliable. Seems like Litleo would have dumped more damning information if he was really trying to hurt Rai. As it is, the insults are nothing really worse than Team Skull calling Rai a wimp or something similar.

Lastly, the Pidgey scene was pretty nice. I enjoy the way the scene with Litleo kind of trickles down into all the scenes introduced after it.

So good chapter. I enjoy seeing everyone else's perspectives on Rai and Sean.
PichuAlt3 chapter 11 . 3/16/2019
I'll ignore the couple of misspellings because I don't remember what they were, but I think it's important to say that sound travels better through solids than through air, so being surrounded by rocky walls would amplify the distance Sean could be heard from, not reduce it.
Was the aimless running supposed to be Run Away? I remember one time I chose Eevee as my partner rather than lying to the quiz to be the Eevee on my team, and that ability was quite annoying.

Not a whole lot to say about this chapter, but I'm looking forward to the next one.
TheCrazyAnimeFan01 chapter 11 . 3/16/2019
Oof, poor Sean. Quite a complicated day indeed. He seems to always be stuck in some sort of pickle in these missions. Hopefully he'll be more combat ready by learning moves like Night Slash. But I'm know he gets the job done at least.

And thank you for the acknowledgement! I can't do the whole idea thing because I suck with that whole thing . but I'm always happy to know that I am able to give you encouragement. I really feel that there is a lot of potential in this story and so deserves all the love and attention :D Anyways, great job as always and I can't wait for the next update!
Spaik-W chapter 11 . 3/15/2019
There's a lot of things running congruently at the moment, and I cannot make out much of anything. interesting, as I thought I had a grasp on what was coming next.

I love Sean's attempts to peace what he knows and what has changed, that's a good dynamic I am hoping gets expanded in during the expedition.

Other than that, even if it is difficult for you to write, I really hope you continue to write Chatot and more, Grovyle, into the story, as I think it is one of the things that stands out in this story from the others.

looking forward to Sean's first scream, or his realization that he doesn't have one. Either way the stage is set for a great next few chapters.
MinccinoBestMon chapter 4 . 3/14/2019
Hello,

This chapter was certainly fiery!

To begin with, you were certainly right on the second-hand embarrassment. I have a friend in real life who says thoughtless things in certain situations, so I can definitely relate. The cultural gap will be something Sean will struggle to get used to. I'll admit that the sensitive naming cultural aspects is still something that throws me off, but only because none of the characters in the game make it a big deal when referring to your in-game name and your partner's in-game name. It is a nice touch though, and I like it. I was not expecting the naming to link to naughty night activities.

Anyway, onward we go.

I enjoyed Charmander's mission and how Sean and Rai went to the dungeon only to discover that Litleo has already consumed the 'Fire Blast' TM. This is more sensible than in the game, where the thief for some reason decided not to use the compatible TM they stole, so good on you. We also learned a bit about Rai in this chapter and his connection to Luxray. We've talked over PMs about this before, but I like seeing it in action.

I like the touch were Sean suggest Recycle for Charmander and how Rai later wonders how Sean knew about Recycle. Sean really doesn't think through anything he says. Very impulsive.

I also enjoyed Sean and Rai discussing human culture, with Rai talking about how most Pokemon say what they mean and how it's hard for her to figure out when Sean is joking, telling the truth, or lying.

Then that last scene gives us some new characters jumping into the fray.

All-in-all, this is a good chapter, so good job and keep up the good work!
MinccinoBestMon chapter 3 . 3/12/2019
Hello,

Okay, so I decided to read Chapter Two and Chapter Three and then review.

So, first, I'd like to talk about the positives between both chapters. The number one positive for me is the developing partnership between Rai and Sean. I enjoyed Sean's overnight stay at Rai's home on Sharpedo Bluff. I found it interesting how he was stewing in guilt while Rai was still getting over the loss of the Relic Fragment. Next, I love how their adventure went in their first mission. I like how they backed each other up, with Rai taking care of most opponents and Sean coming in clutch at the life-threatening part. My favorite part is both of them trying to give the other member credit.

"You're the reason we won."

"No, you are."

"No, you."

It's really cute. I'm already rooting for Sean/ Rai, haha.

Although, Sean is clearly already feeling some guilt over his lies building up with Rai and anxious with how he's changing things.

Speaking of changing things. I really like the way you had Sean confront Drowzee right away, and I'm interested to see how events might progress further down the line. A non-reformed Drowzee could cause complications with the Palkia plotline.

Let's see, what else...ah, yes, I also just overall enjoyed their first mission. You did a good job with that.

For negatives, hmm. You know what, I actually think these two chapters were just good quality overall. Maybe after I take a second read I might notice some things that can be improved, but for now I'll just stop after noting all those high points.

Excellent work on Chapter 2 and Chapter 3!
MinccinoBestMon chapter 1 . 3/12/2019
Hello,

I've finally kicked by butt into gear and made some time to read your first chapter! Naturally, the next step is to give some feedback, which contains both positives and (nitpicky) negatives! This is all subjective, so it's totally fine if you disagree with some of my points!

I would like to begin with the positives because there are many. Firstly, I really do like how you have Shinx be the sword and shield, so to speak, during their venture into the Mystery Dungeon. It makes a lot of sense-unlike Sean, Shinx has been a Pokemon for a very long time. Naturally, he would know how to use his moves much better than Sean would. Continuing on Shinx (or Rai, I suppose), I really like the balance between timidity, self-loathing, insecurities, and that naivety and hopefulness that I associate with the Partner character. My favorite aspect of this chapter has to be Rai and Sean failing to get the Relic Fragment back. I think this could add an entire arc later in the story with Rai and Sean having to hunt it down. This is a twist I would like to see other stories adopt (with a failed first mission, I mean, as it just feels more plausible).

Now for the "negatives". There's not much I have any issue with. I would say that Skuntank's presence while a nice twist doesn't make much sense to me. There're either more AU events that caused ripple effects that resulted in Skuntank coming along, or perhaps you felt Rai and Sean would get the Fragment back otherwise? I feel as though Koffing and Zubat might have been able to fight the two off on their own. Overall, it's not really a bad thing but some speculation. My only other nitpick would be the that scene with Rai in front of the guild. It may just be from reading so many EoS stories, but I feel the story could have started with Rai finding Sean unconscious on the beach without losing anything.

Regardless of the "negatives", the first chapter has a lot going for it, and I enjoyed it.

Good job on an interesting first chapter!
TheCrazyAnimeFan01 chapter 10 . 3/5/2019
Ehhhh?! 2 Seans?! What's going on? This is all getting so very interesting! !This is all going to get crazy, I can tell. Now I am just really excited to see what happens next in the story. Also, just love WigglyTuff so much, he's just soo adorable 3 Chatot is pretty cool too. Anyways, good chapter as always and I can't wait for the next update! :D
PichuAlt3 chapter 10 . 3/4/2019
Nice to see the subtle changes like Wigglytuff not acting upset to be travel king with his friend.

I'm not a fan of cliffhangers, but credit where it's due, you made a good one.
Spaik-W chapter 10 . 3/4/2019
Oh boy! The set up keeps on coming. The pieces are all in place for some awesome storytelling in the coming chapters.

The suspense is killing me, my head is already trying to come up with theories as to how this will resolve.

Can't wait!
PichuAlt3 chapter 9 . 3/1/2019
Hey, bigger twists. All that from deciding to try to twist the apple woods thing to their favor.

I think this was my favorite chapter yet.

About the scene in chapter 4, I have to agree it felt awkward to read, but I don't think it should be cut entirely. Perhaps it should be edited so that they see Sean as a bit of a weirdo and too friendly with near,strangers until it's cleared up. I like that you kept the lack of names from the game but explained it, but it was a bit overboard.

If it were me rewriting it, I'd change the scene itself to Sean accidentally being weird, Sunflora perhaps spreading "this weirdo gives his name to strangers" so her gossip bit is still in there, and Litleo could simply skip asking for sexual favors and ask for the bow then refuse negotiation attempts.

Of course, on the other hand, Litleo could be a recurring character as comic relief if the slip-up retains its magnitude, which could be funny. You could go either way, as I see it.

One thing that's not really up to opinion bug rather just a good idea in general is to choose one of those before writing the next chapter. If you decide you want to rewrite, better to make adjustments for chapters 4-9 than further than that, and if you decide to leave it in, it's best to have that decided for sure as soon as possible.

Looking forward to the next chapter, and hoping the next ripple in time has Sean and Grovyle end up alone and able to talk about Sean's situation, leaving them paired up sooner. That seems like a logical next step, so my guess is there, but I'm sure you could make almost anything make sense, so I'll just need to wait and see.

One last thing that just occurred to me - if Sean had the foresight to send Litleo after an apple in advance, why not just "happen to be up" (there's gotta be an equivalent to bathrooms to use as an excuse and "investigate some weird sounds" and wake up Chatot saying "three Pokémon are in the larder eating Perfect Apples, please stop them"?

It would make it hard to fit in Grovyle or Zubat's scenes, so I as the reader get it, but from Sean's perspective it would make sense, wouldn't it?
TheCrazyAnimeFan01 chapter 9 . 2/27/2019
Omg that Floatzel! I understand why Cherim would act that way. But you're right, despite the Pokemon franchise's cutesy and optiministic image, it can have its dark moments. Also, I wonder what Grovyle is up to. Sometimes having future knowledge can be very stressful becuase once things are straying from the 'canon', it gets really hard to know what happens next and then you can't really rely on that future knowledge. I'm sure Sean will figure it out though. Anyways, keep up the good work and I look forward to your next update! :D
402 | « Prev Page 1 .. 15 22 23 24 25 26 .. Last Next »