|Reviews for PMD: Warped Skies|
| PichuAlt3 chapter 8 . 2/25/2019
It's nice to see something looking up for the protagonists. Obviously abusing the memories to make everything turn out right would be boring, and everything going wrong for more than a couple chapters isn't fun to read, so a balance of good and bad changes is important. You've more or less nailed that, so far.
| PichuAlt3 chapter 3 . 2/24/2019
I'm continuing to like the concept, and the writing seems to get better each chapter.
One thing I've noticed is that you have often mixed up they're and their. Their means that something belongs to them, while they're means "they are".
Again, thanks for this. I'm enjoying it.
| TheCrazyAnimeFan01 chapter 8 . 2/22/2019
Lol Litleo is a creep. But a sacrifice must be made. Sad to see Sean to trade it in. I wonder if they really do have some major power in them? I never really figured it out . And Team Skull... ugh really hate those dudes but I am sure Sean and Rai can handle them. Also, it's really nice to see Team Ion really bond with the rest of the guild members. It's quite cool to learn much more of them anf their backstories. Makes me like them more. Anyways, keep up the good work and I look forward to your next update! :D
| Miner7365 chapter 8 . 2/21/2019
So, I originally had intents on reviewing only Chapters 1 - 7, as that was what you had at the time. And then I woke up to another chapter posted, so I had implement that into my review. I'll apologize in advance if that causes the review to jump around a bit, but this story leaves me with a lot to talk about, and has proven to be one of the more daunting stories for me to try to dissect.
I'm going to be honest, I didn't know how to start this review. I was going to begin with prose, like I do for most reviews, and then diverge from there, but I honestly don't want to do that here.
Instead, what I want to start off here is the world. And more specifically, how... eerie some scenes get for being a Sky story. A great example of this is Chapter 5, which features the perspectives of a bunch of different characters, many of whom managed to make me feel slightly creeped out with the condescending comments that ran through their minds I had not noticed before.
To an extent, I had gotten something more was going on with the characters and the world, as the reaction in the prior 2 chapter about "night-mates" (a topic I'll bring back up in a little bit, for reasons) and the fact that the Psyduck was bleeding in the dungeon, contrasting with the cheerful tone of the games. But directly placing the reader in the eyes of Chatot and Corpish ripped the metaphorical band-aid of innocence in these characters off.
This may seem like a bit of a tangent on a certain part of the story, and to an extent, it is. However, it ties in to the other plot point that leaves me feeling uneasy about this entire story. One that you haven't properly revealed yet, but I already know due to process of elimination in both the Chapter 4 and Chapter 7 scenes.
Sean was never with Grovyle. The human never got lost in time, and is travelling with Grovyle to get the time gears. Sean is an outsider with absolutely no reason to be here, knowing about everything that happens in the plot-line, being the only reason that everything hasn't diverged yet.
A plot line, that continues to diverge more and more, splitting off from the main path and leading him further and further into the dark about what is going on.
I could be horribly mistaken about this in an aspect, for they might have had some purpose in placing him in the position he is in now (perhaps to keep the timeline intact, or to mess with the heroes? It's honestly impossible to tell who or what caused him to appear as of right now.), but whatever the case is, we have a bumbling idiot that is in this world for unknown reason, possibly messing up the canon that the heroes are relying on to make their way to the time gears.
If I wanted to, I could throw crackpot theories all day as to who this character is and what lead them here. Perhaps Darkrai somehow ended up in the human world after escaping in that one scene in the original PMD, and didn't separate the human and grovyle while travelling in time like some theories suggest after managing to get back and attempt his plan again... somehow. Perhaps the world is forcefully causing someone to wake up on that beach, and have the canon happen in some form despite it making no sense for it to happen. Perhaps Dialga, in some attempt to bring the human back in that scene on the beach in sky, messed up and caused everything to start over again, but in a very different manner than before.
Perhaps it is none of these, or some weird combination of them. I don't know, and nor will I know until more details become clear either in the expedition (if the canon has diverged enough to the point where they end up meeting there) or whenever Dusknoir happens (can't wait to see him possibly mistake one human for the other human, and him gawk in confusion when that discontinuity becomes clear if he isn't already aware of it.)
All that stands clear is that something is deeply wrong here, and I nor Sean knows what. Something that is going to badly affect when the canon takes a sharp U-turn he didn't expect.
But for now, that's all I have to say on Sean. This is when the review gets a bit jumpy, since I don't know how to transition between this and going back to talking about the rest of the story, but let's carry on regardless.
So, with the questionably concerning background of Sean out of the way, let me discuss the main contents of the story, and some of the criticism I have towards presentation.
The main reason I stayed away from the topic at first was because I simply wanted to bring up the dark undertones running throughout the story, despite how well you manage to maintain the character's voices. And this is what I have to say about that.
While I don't know everything about some of the changes to the characters that have occurred (the Guildmaster obviously standing as not being the same, whether through his implied lack of optimism in the one scene where he kinda stumbles on the Guild anthem, or the lack of color in his personal bedroom) the peppy voices combined with knowledge of things such as night-mates (my comments on that are now fast approaching) leaves me feeling... odd.
I've read grimdark stories in the past, and I've read stories that try to maintain the innocence present within the PMD series. I've seen both styles work in the past, and both can manage to work well in their own right. But here, I see the innocent world of Explorers of Sky with the same characters with brutality superimposed into some but not all aspects of it. It feels like you wanted to have a world where things were a bit more down to earth, yet didn't consider the full ramifications for such a change to the world.
Ironically enough, an actual, official PMD game suffered from a similar issue, not fully resounding out how a more brutal world would be set up and simply having it affect some characters but not others. It's often called Gates to Infinity, where Post Town stands as a enigma of peace and happiness in the otherwise "uncaring" world.
Now, now, I do want to say something. There is a chance that perhaps this is indicative of the game trying to stick to canon really being the factor as to why Sean is here, albeit I don't have that much evidence besides that to back it up. Food for thought, I suppose though.
Continuing on with this discussion though, I want to finally get to the topic that has been bugging me ever since I first heard the term: night-mates. I originally didn't intend to make a comment on it, as I thought it was simply a part of explaining why names weren't often given to random pokémon in the games.
Then I read Litleo telling Sean all about how he needed to get "laid," and "get a bone in you," I felt the need to say something. Simply put, why?
I mean, I get that you wish to portray Litleo as a condescending bitch who thinks he's entitled to everything in the world, but... it's just such a thematic disparity with everything else that it stands out to me.
Perhaps I'm being a bit judging on this front, but I feel this contributes back to what I said about the changes in the world not being reflected everywhere. However, I'm personally getting sick of talking about that, so I think its about time I wrap this up.
Despite all the semi-critical things I said, I do enjoy this story. The simplistic prose style reflects the simplicity and innocence of the games and the Guild (again, not reflecting the world quite properly, but that's been hammered in by now.) Alongside the paradoxical fact that two humans are out and about in the world at the same time. I don't know where you intend to bring this, or how far you intend to diverge from the game's plot line, but I have one thing to say.
Please, keep this going. I'm curious as to what is occurring here, and what actually happened to Sean that lead to him coming to this world. You've made an adaptation that actually leaves the reader unknowing of the future, in the dark as much as Sean bumbling around trying to stick by the canon of the story, and that just absolutely fascinating
Much like how the original divergence, introducing Skuntank and making him defeat the group unlike what happens in the games, caused the story to feel radically different then other stories, the continued divergences have made the stakes continually feel heightened and have prevented this story from suffering from the reader already knowing of the plot. In fact, it only enhances it, as it leaves them knowing as much as Sean does about what is going on.
There were a few things I wish I could've gotten to in this review, but didn't. Namely, prose and the dynamic between the two characters. However, as this review has gone on long enough, so I'll avoid discussing them until another time.
Until then, I'll be off. Thanks for this story that toys with the idea of an adaptation and the reader already knowing the canon, and I'll see you later.
| PichuAlt3 chapter 1 . 2/20/2019
Being completely honest, I do not love your writing.
I do love the concept you came up with, though, and as someone who once wrote a single chapter for a fanfiction before giving up and deleting it a month later, I can absolutely respect the effort involved here. Your writing's pretty good for something that you're doing for free, and I appreciate the time you put into bringing this story concept to life.
| Miner7365 chapter 1 . 2/19/2019
So, I had been seeing your face around the site in varied review sections, I figured I would check out your story and see what it was about.
To be quite honest, I didn't go in with high hopes. Seeing how blatant you were about the Protagonist being a self-insert, alongside the generic prose-style that almost led to me leaving the beginning pre-maturely, I honestly thought I was simply in for another run-of-the-mill sky retelling.
Then you messed with my perception, showing Sean to be a character that semi-knew of the series beforehand. Something I have seen before, albeit in limited doses. And then you proceeded to break the formula in front of my eyes and actually make them lose the first fight, directly leading to what now stands as my favorite retelling of the original scene of the partner and the human getting together on the beach to form the team.
I'm not joking when I say that. I had become apathetic to that scene because of how many versions of it I had read over the years, many of which died after a few chapters and lie floating around not to every be brought up in this site's databanks, and you managed to make it feel meaningful again.
I would do a dissection of this now, but I don't have time right now, nor am I fond of making comment on the first chapter of a story when it has a bunch more in store. So, for that reason, I'll hold off on it until I get fully caught up. I'll see you once I get there.
| Yucho chapter 1 . 2/18/2019
Nice! I always like seeing how different authors perceive certain events and characters in a game, and the angle where Sean is kind of subconsciously aware of the story is interesting, I've not seen something like that before. Interested to see how that plays out.
The slight change in story from the game is cool as well, helps maintain an air of mystery. I'll keep an eye on this story, keep it up.
| TheCrazyAnimeFan01 chapter 7 . 2/18/2019
Yay! An update! At first I was worried when you haven't updated in a while but when I saw that you were just touching up on some things I was happy. It's understandable too take a while if you're trying to make some adjustments so it's okay. Also, I really am excited to see what will happen in the next chapter. Even though Team Skull is annoying, I bet Sean and Rai can pull through. Anyways, keep up the great work and I can't wait for the next update! :D
| TheCrazyAnimeFan01 chapter 6 . 2/5/2019
Wow you really outdone yourself in this chapter. One of the longest chapter you currently have and it's good too. The little mystery in it is nice and no one should ever disrespect the great Guildmaster WigglyTuff! Also, I do see your PMs and I really love each and everyone of them! :D Just keep up the good work like you always do and I look forward to your next update! :)
| TheCrazyAnimeFan01 chapter 5 . 1/31/2019
Don't worry about this chapter being short, I barely noticed any difference lol. Also, I think you handled the whole other POV really well, it's nice to hear what others think of Team Ion and in my opinion did a really good job with it. Glad Sean got everything else settled with others but oh Sunflora, what hace you done? XD Anyways, great work and as always, I look forward to your next update :)
| TheCrazyAnimeFan01 chapter 4 . 1/22/2019
Lol Sean xD I laughed a lot when I realized his little mistake with his guildmates really meant. The culture is soooooo different in comparison to ours, something that the games haven't really expanded upon but it's nice to see that it's different here. Also, maybe Sean should come out and say he is a Pokemon Trainer and that's why he knows certain things and if he played the other Pokemon games then that would mean that it is technically true right?
Anyways, great work as always and don't stess too much about trying to have a lot of words or updating so fast. Take your time; quality over quantity is better in my opinion. So just keep up the good work and I can't wait for the next update :)
| Lurker45 chapter 3 . 1/12/2019
I agree with the other guys on blocking Farla. That user just does it to everyone and its all the sane.
| ultima-owner chapter 3 . 1/11/2019
revive seeds will save you from having to redo those 99 floor dungeons all over again because you ran into a monster house at the worst time.
| TheCrazyAnimeFan01 chapter 3 . 1/11/2019
I am in agreement with Sean about the whole slimy things. Like even the word 'moist' makes me uncormfortable. Moist... eww. Anyways very interesting to see the turn of events with Drowzee and no Dimensional Scream thing. Though I am not sure how that ability works for Sean if at all since he kinda already knows what's going on. There is already some deviations in the original plotline and I am really excited to where it will lead the story in the future.
Also, I peaked at the comments and they all said something about a group of users in this pokemon fandom. I honsetly don't know what's going on but I hope it doesn't discourage you from doing what you want to do with your story. Constructive criticism is okay but just pure hate isn't and at the end of the day it's all up to you. You're not getting paid for writing this fanfic but it is something that many people do because they have a passion for the fandom or writing in general.
So don't give up and just push on! Always know that even if there are people who don't like your story their is also people who like it a lot, like me ;) So keep up the good work and I look forward to your next update! :D
| Stylepoints Zero chapter 2 . 1/10/2019
Block Farla. They are just an asshole.