|Reviews for The First Don In Liberty|
| Vercetti chapter 1 . 5/18/2003
Very nice. I liked it alot.
I think that you should have added Tommy Vercetti to the story, you know, not a big role, but just add him and tell us the story, how he has been sent to kill one man and was jailed.
| Maverick Point chapter 1 . 4/24/2003
Not a bad start. Your descriptive paragraph add to the work immensely, and I only hope you will not lose your ability to set the stage as you progress through the story. Some authors tend to do that. All in all, it's a great beginning, rough around the edges, like you said, but that's to be expected. I will return here to check for updates, so please move on.
| the mighty lu bu chapter 1 . 4/24/2003
This is ok. however when you write i would suggest that you write more like you did in ch3
Instead of writing one sentence and then going down to the next line no matter how much space you have.
| Digsy chapter 1 . 4/24/2003
Anyone like to comment? I know it's a bit rough around the edges but I'm just trying to get the plot onto paper.