|Reviews for Alien's in the Amazon|
| Fizbey chapter 1 . 7/26/2020
No one gives a fucksssss
| OrangeMacawWorld chapter 1 . 2/15/2019
Greetings, FilmedIt. I find it pleasing whenever I see a new author on this archive, so I would like to welcome you as an author on this site.
Now, concerning the story itself, I have only read the first chapter thus far, and I will provide my honest feedback regarding it. To begin, the grammar is good and the spelling only has one or two mistakes, though the sentences are usually far too long. Often times, there were numerous subjects spoken about in a single sentence, something that you should certainly try to avoid. The solution would have been to make far more sentences, rather than relatively few sentences that featured many different subjects.
Also, although I think this concept does bear potential, I felt that there should have been at least some sort of buildup to the horror itself. Simply beginning the action immediately with no buildup at all can be extremely jarring, and it leaves the audience utterly confused, so please, try to build suspense before starting the action. As for the punctuation, most of it was absent of mistakes, though I would like to point out that lines of dialogue spoken by different characters are not placed together in the same paragraph (or at least, not without indentation.)
Another bit of advise I have for you is to add detail. At least some sort of detail and description is important to any fictional work in general, though in the case of a thriller, it can either make or break the story, as the described tone can either leave the audience excited or bored. Other than that, there was one point in the story which seemed to transition to a first person view out of thin air, which is something that you do not want to do when writing a story that is supposed to be good.
Despite this story's many flaws that I have come to notice, I will read the other three chapters that you have published thus far. If you would like me to help you improve your craft, please contact me.