|Reviews for Dragon of the Reach|
| Heinkelboy05 chapter 7 . 9/20
Nice work on the chapter. You did real good here.
| Damocles chapter 1 . 4/29
Good first chapter, I’d say review Kamea’s speech and consider removing contractions like “ain’t”. Her dialogue in the game read hard nobility with an innate precision on proper grammar.
Also maybe consider toning down the gruffness of Nico as he was a minor noble at one point too.
Ready to read more.
| RougeBaron chapter 4 . 3/12
I've never played Battletech VG so I don't know how it works in the game. But something bugs me:
The stats of the Argo mentions that it has 12 mech bays (1 company). Yet the Dragon Raiders TOE lists 4 lances (16 mechs). How do the Dragon Raiders fit 16 mechs into 12 mech bays? Or do I miss something?
| RougeBaron chapter 2 . 3/10
Nice story. I like that Kamea offers the Dragon Raiders (hopefully this is not a reference to Riders of Berk) a position in the Aurigan military. After what they did in the war, it's only fair that they get offer to stay at Aurigan. I don't understand, however, the reason Nico accepts Kamea's offer. Nico says it himself in the beginning "I'm in it for the money" but towards the end it seems that he is more into "doing the right thing" and "fulfilling Raju's last request". Maybe this is explained in the next chapter. But aside for that, the story is captivating and I'm looking forward to reading more.
| Just a Crazy-Man chapter 5 . 11/12/2019
| Gaby chapter 3 . 6/15/2019
Excellent preview,can't wait to see the next update.
| Doombug chapter 2 . 6/4/2019
An interesting story, I would certainly read more if you decide to continue it. Sadly I wouldn't expect a very large audience for this considering how slow/small the Battletech section is on this site but you have at least 1 more reader in me.
| JC chapter 3 . 5/31/2019
Your doing Excellent wokr,do not lets the low number of review scrae you off.
I can't wait to see what you do.
| JC chapter 2 . 5/13/2019
Great,Look like Nico and Kamea may get Shipped.
Can't wait to see how you set Up the Armed Forces of the Aurigan Coalition?
| SDWilson chapter 1 . 3/22/2019
I did like that Nico downplayed his role but as details came out in his thoughts, his role in the civil war was demonstrated to be very important. To be specific, I liked the way that aspect was drawn out.
I haven't played Battletech/Mechwarrior since about '92 or '94 (don't remember) and have never played any of the video games. As a result, I have no preconceptions about where this is going or should be. I've got to try and pick it up from what is given to me. No problems so far.
A couple notes-
Some people stress "show don't tell" completely to the exclusion of "tell". I don't mind seeing it balanced a bit but the early part was so much "tell" that it bored me- like reading descriptions from a game/module instead of a story. Once the ongoing conversation and interaction started, I liked it a lot more.
I'm personally not fond of present tense writing but professional (as well as amateur) writers do it and it seems to be more a matter of taste. However, I've a pet peeve for tense agreement but there weren't too many mismatches. There are a few misspellings and such (easily fixed by editing) but with only one or two exceptions it didn't hurt my understanding or bug me.