|Reviews for Red and Green Patches|
| heronlove chapter 16 . 2/12/2013
This is a great fic. I just wish there was more of Ron and Hermione and less of Harry and Gia.
| tuna chuchutrain chapter 40 . 6/11/2011
Wow this is amazing! It is one of the best fanfictions i've read. Keep it up!
| lil.miss.Small-me-Big-ideas chapter 40 . 1/20/2011
this story is utterly fantastic i loved it
the begining few chapters were fairly boring and hard t understand but then your writing got heaps better
xoxo little miss
| mxena my actual username chapter 1 . 8/30/2007
hmm i read the first chapter and I didn't like the way you wrote it. It was script-like and VERY confusing. All I kept reading was: Ron says, harry says, hermione says, blah blah. Harry Potter isn't meant to be written like that, and I know your not JKR, but we read fanfiction because there isn't any more books or anything better to do. You should change your writing style because the story has potential. I skimmed through a few chapters and landed on "Gia" and Harry having sex, wow, that was quick. And Hermione playing with Ron's testicles? She wouldn't do that, not that quick at least, I mean yeah in other fanfictions they will have lemon bits here and there, but you have to put it in the right time and place, and have the right type of content. That was way too graphic and way too early. Also, the characters are really OOC! I read the first couple of paragraphs and noticed that Ron and Lupin were totally off, even in the beginning. You need a beta to sort out this whole story, because you could definately make it great, it's just not good enough in the beginning for me to want to read anymore of it. What else... oh, there is way too much talking, you need to pause to focus on character expressions and their surroundings, and other details like that. Anyway good luck with your writing in the future! I don't mean to be rude I just want to help you out! I wrote a fanfic too and it sucked so I find that what others say really helps, I just have been too lazy to edit my story haha. Good Luck again
| Anna chapter 1 . 12/4/2005
I'm sorry, I got halfway through and just couldn't do it anymore. There is so much speaking... I just can't figure out what the characters want. And, my dear, vocabulary will really spice your story up. I suggest reading the dictionary. And Gia? Gia, of all names? To me, that does not match the story or characters at all. It was a tad redundant, as well. Also, I've found a very helpful list of alternate words for said on ( It's under writer's tools, I believe. Very very useful if you insist on using so much dialog. You may also find a beta there, for these people are fantastic writers. On a good note, however, I thought your point of view was interesting. I'm very sorry, I just didn't enjoy it very much.
| hattuteline chapter 21 . 7/30/2004
Hm. I agree on this fic requiring some renovation and reviewing at quite a few points. It's very fortunate that this story is a light-hearted romance/"comedy" combination (instead of romance/angst like it says), which makes this somehow an interesting fic. If you made this a serious and heavy fic, I'd be annoyed enough by the storyline and then most likely abandon it because of the grammar and such issues. The nudity issues, the flashy stuff and the fights made this interesting enough to keep on reading without caring too much about the little details.
Then this chapter came up. I seriously sniggered out lout right here in the middle of the night when Ron loaned Voldemort's hand, that was such a sweet sweet thing to do.
If you want to revise this fic, I suggest fixing the tenses to past tense and adding more description here and there. Some chapters had very royal amounts of description, but sometimes there's a bit too much talking where I have to assume the attitudes and actions of the participiants (more than I'd like to, anyways). The later parts have certainly been written more skillfully than the early parts, but there's still room for improvement.
I've loved and appreciated several details and ideas you've made in this fic. The UHP is certainly one, and this Voldemort detail was just too cracking mad. I guess I'm easily obliged to at least finish this, and go through the 500k words of the sequel now...
| jbfritz chapter 40 . 6/4/2004
Great story! Glad I decided to read it before starting on the sequel!:)
| Rhyllen chapter 40 . 6/1/2004
You got me so friggin' hooked I couldn't stop reading until I finished it! Awesome story! I'm gonna go start the next one now!
| FeenixFyre chapter 40 . 5/31/2004
I read this story perhaps, 6 months ago, and decided to come back and reread it, and as I'm now a member here, leave a review.
This story has so much potential, but I found myself skimming over the very frequent refereces to sex and nudity. Perhaps if you were to rewrite this fic and post it as a PG-13, whilst still leaving this one up, you might see a rise in popularity of your work. The pathces idea is brilliant, the influence of muggle life and I like the idea of Harry with a muggle girl. Though I have read this fic, I did not enjoy it enough to read your sequel, so those are my suggestions.
| Hermione88220 chapter 30 . 4/2/2004
I have news for you. YOU NEED A BETA! A really really good one. This story is not bad, in fact sometimes it's really good. I like the plot and the characters even though most of it comes from that other story; still you have moments where you put stuff in the story that doesn't need to be there and it seems like your just filling in space. Like one of the past chapters where they go rock climbing; ordinarly I read through it all to make sure I don't miss something important to the plot but that was just boring. If you had cut parts of it out and make that not so long since it seemed like just a transition chapter or something it might not have been to bad. Also you need a more original diologue. You've been using that whole "you are beautiful" and "you make me happy" a whole lot, and i understand that you might want to stress that in the story but perphaps there might be a different way to do that. Also what's up with that peeing thing? is it your fetish or something? hey it's your story. i dunno. But to sum it all up: you could get a beta and maybe they will clean it up for you. This would be a really good read if it was properly edited.
My best wishes
| Rachel chapter 1 . 2/12/2004
This is really bad... Don't quite your day job.
| OoshatiElf chapter 1 . 11/2/2003
This is horrible...::cluthes head:: ugh!
the one and only
| megan chapter 40 . 10/18/2003
hi i just finished your story, it has taken me a whole 3 days to read it. i normally try to read it all at once but i no time to read latly.
loved your story can not wait of the sequel and i really did love your story.
| szelij chapter 35 . 10/12/2003
Interesting but im afraid too radically different from what we expect. Urs is mostly conversational with very VERY little alrite the sexual stuff, even i havent done that before lol..
| LarcolTydol chapter 40 . 8/9/2003
Quite interesting story. was a very different read. i enjoyed it lots even though I don't ever think JKR will get that illustrative in their relationships.