Snape bashing is pathetic

I don't know, a lot is lacking... It's like it's more of a summary or at times a series of prompts than an actual story?
"XX has sex with YY. AA has sex with BB. DD takes pics. Sends them to TW and TT. They laugh."
That's not a story is it, it's just a series of line and we're supposed to imagine the story for ourselves.

The revenge bit is rather sick. I mean, let's make them rape each other, we will send pictures to her brother, i'm sure they'll find it funny?
I mean, even if the family is fucked up and seriously broken up, who the hell would want to see pictures of their estranged family members go through that and find it good fun?
At that point i'm wondering if the good guys are even more sick than the bad guys.

Too much of the story is either nonsense, or has no build up whatsoever to make it make any sense.
It's too often "Oh I got an idea! Next line? It just happens" "Let's capture XX!" "XX gets captured".

Arthur just rips his family apart straight away, on the word of a random letter.
It could be a fake, planted by anyone. A terrible prank from the twins. The raving madness of Harry who has lost it. Anything. At best it should make some people suspicious and start looking more closely into things.
But no, no questions asked, let's take drastic action and throw half the family out forever.

Sometimes the cart is so far in front of the horse that apparently Neville is Harry's best friend despite not having had the chance to even be friends in the first place.

We don't really have a clue about what Dumbledore's plans were or why. Beyond what did happen, where was he actually going with any of this? What was the endgame?

It feels a bit like daydreaming put on paper, but as long as you have fun and find it cathartic to do that's what really matter for you. But to read I would have enjoyed more of an actual story, less rushed, with actions and motivations being built up a bit more, and some more overall cohesion in the plot.

This was a really good story, and Dumbledore got what he deserved at long last!

I as a Ravenclaw have to admit that Harry's ideas on how to improve Hogwarts School
for Witchcraft and Wizardry make a great deal of sense, but obviously, NOT ALL OF HIS
IDEAS will be able to be implemented. That's just ridiculous!

Harry Potter makes a good point when he says the house system DOES NOT WORK. And it doesn't
work. As Harry himself said-and I agree with him on THIS POINT, friendly competition IS good, but
not interacting with other students increases the rivalry to create enemies. And in any case, NOT ALL
SLYTHERINS ARE EVIL. Here are just a few THAT DID NOT BECOME EVIL. 1: MERLIN. He was a
Slytherin, and fought AGAINST DARK WIZARDS. 2: Leta Lestrange. She was more accident-prone
than actually malevolent, and sacrificed herself to Grindelwald's loyalty flames to distract the Dark
Lord so Newt's bowtruckle Pickett could steal the Blood Pact. 3: Charlus Potter. The first Potter to be
sorted into Slytherin in 300 years. 4: Andromeda Tonks (nee Black) Upon Graduating, she became a
damn fine Lawyer. 5: Albus Severus Potter. Helped prevent Delphini bring back Voldemort!

Excellent! Now not just Dumbledore and Moody are dead, but so is Voldemort and his Death
Eaters. SO MUCH FOR YOUR HORCRUXES, "LORD" VOLDEMORT!

Really, did Harry's betrayers REALLY think they'd get off scot-free? Not bloody likely! Mad-eye
Moody, Molly, Ginny, Hermione, Ron and Dumbledore have manipulated, used and abused Harry FAR
TOO OFTEN FOR HARRY TO DO THAT! As the old saying goes, "Do unto others what you would have
them do unto you".

Lamorak Korving is a cousin of mine, and he wrote some good Harry Potter fanfics. I've actually
read a few of them, in fact. Let's see, there was "How to Bed a Bulstrode", "How to Charm a
Carrow" and "Pansy's Pain", a lovely short tale about Pansy and Harry and the friendship-albeit
somewhat strained but allowed by Dumbledore they have to hide from their respective houses.

Good on you, Harry! The Order members deserved what they got!

AUGUSTA LONGBOTTOM & MADAM AMELIA BONES ARE 2 people Dumbledore cannot control OR
manipulate. I wonder how he'll react when they turn up!

I really don't blame Harry for wanting nothing to do with the Wizarding World. It's corrupt, and both
the citizens and politicians can't seem to make their minds up about him. One minute he's their
hero, the next minute he's the new Dark Lord in training! No wonder he wants to leave!

I always DID think of Dumbledore, Molly, Ginny, Ron and Hermione as corrupt. THEN AGAIN,
DUMBLEDORE DID ONCE SHARE THE SAME DARK WIZARD VIEWS AS GRINDELWALD, so I guess
I shouldn't be TOO surprised. As for Ronald Weasley, he is a traitor, as well as lazy, selfish, cruel,
given to insane bouts of anger and jealousy, brash, crash, rude, belligerent and foul-mouthed.

Speaking personally, I always thought Dumbledore's idea of giving second chances to Death Eaters,
and EVEN VOLDEMORT, was unrealistic. They're in a bloody WAR, for crying out loud! You DO NOT
GIVE SECOND CHANCES TO YOUR ENEMY IN WAR! In a war, it's kill or be killed. Harry knows this.
Voldemort knows this. The Death Eaters know this. Heck, even Sirius Black knows this fact.
Dumbledore ALSO knows it, but is too much of a pacifist to kill. Sirius would make a better war-
leader than Dumbledore. As for Hermione, she's too much of a pacifist. As for Ron, he's a
traitor, and also a liability.

I haven't ever read a story where even Remus and Hermione were considered bad, but I liked the story even though I actually do like both of those characters. Oh, I take that back, I have read one other story where neither Sirius nor Harry wanted anything to do with Remus but none where Hermione was one of the 'bad guys' but that's ok, your story was well written and entertaining. I do prefer H/Hg pairings but I have read many where Harry ends up with someone else.

Having MadEye be on Dumbles side though was a first, too. I like him better when he ends up siding with Harry but as I said, I still liked this story. I'm flexible.

loved the story thank you