|Reviews for Contact|
| oxyd2013 chapter 8 . 11/25
Love the slow but meaningful build-up.
| IHateGenericCereal chapter 7 . 11/24
Another fantastic first contact chapter. I'm glad you stressed the importance of dogs to humanity, I feel like it'd be fun for them to learn how we actually evolved alongside one another. I also really liked how they have no concept of spicy food, and don't have pianos either. The safari was really fun too. Nice bit of intrigue with the kidnapping perspective, as well. All in all, great chapter and I'm looking forward to more. Hope to see some more fun first contact things.
| Morlow chapter 8 . 11/13
A truly great story. One of the better stories that have the premise of "what if humanity didn't have excess to e-zero?"
I have to ask, does this version of Earth have a gravity train? You know, that thing shown in that remake of Total Recall with Colin Farrell? That things scientific name is gravity train. I actually think that there would be a good reason why we would build such a thing. You can travel to any point on the planet in only 42 minutes. Even less, considering that the closer to the earth-core you get, the less you will be effected by gravity, so you could then boost the speed (of course than you will have to put in brakes). So you could make transportation very fast, since I guess the civilian population would not be happy, if you have thousands of supersonic commercial jets flying around. And going to space and then around the planet would be a huge waste of energy.
Another reason to build a gravity train is that you would in doing so, get the resources for the ring world that is above Earth.
And once you've got the needed materials developed that can withstand the extremely hostel environmental issues of the core, than you can also built a ring world no problem.
| MattKennedy chapter 8 . 11/5
Love the look at how the Earth is making preparations. :) And I'm looking forward to them setting up defenses on the far side of the Relay.
| The Prime Cronos chapter 8 . 10/27
I love how much Detail and consideration you put into your Story. If it comes to a conflict and they manage to reverse engineer the tfl drives, they need ezo which right now they don't have. So would humanity be capable of ezo production ?
| Ralmon chapter 8 . 10/27
Humans again. You know what I think of them but they are the necessary evil. I'll cut them some slack from now on.
Too bad no more Sci-Fi stuff but more exposition.
And Wrex comes to play. Nice.
If there is a reason why they used a defense platform, then you should have put it in the story. Any big stuff like this should be explained. And if they worry if the neighbors aren't friendly, then a defense platform is not the only viable choice.
Ads may not exactly disappear, but there are ways to avoid them. One option, as I said, are ad blockers and similar software/add-on that removes ads. You might be using one now. Another option is to use ad free services, like (ad free) premiums, which I think the military could easily afford. Worse, the adds they run would have warn the populace especially the media that something is very wrong.
Though I think this is more of a world building problem. The human culture and society is just poorly constructed. In fact, the humans don't feel like they have any form of society at all. Things like the outdated language, the androids, the dishes, the ads, the TV(?), the choices of food, etc. appears without any sense of meaning in them. There is no theme or any underlying thread that connects them together. I can't really form any coherent picture of what the humans are supposed to be based on these things.
"Their design is very alien to the limited sample of alien vessels we have seen . . . " This is stupid. Designs can vary is like comparing Chinese designs from Native American designs and concluding that they come from different species. At least, the detail about age that follows this mitigates the idiocy of this statement.
And the discussion about the world cup . . . So there is there huge support for sports after thousand of years. No explanation whatever to what have changed or what they think of it. Nothing. World cup. Another random thing thrown in.
I should stop thinking about this! I said I would give them slack. Just turn off your brain.
Humans . . . BLEH! As for this chapter . . . just okay. At least we have Wrex. That means something.
| tpx1 chapter 8 . 10/27
nice story so far
please continue soon!
| EffervescentNova chapter 8 . 10/27
Hmmm... I'm curious where they are off to.
| Hadrian.Caeser chapter 8 . 10/27
| marius1117 chapter 8 . 10/27
| Greatazuredragon chapter 7 . 10/17
Loved the story so far, very good work, keep it up.
| Greatazuredragon chapter 1 . 10/17
Very nice start to this, and I loved the bit about the elevators. ;p
| Ralmon chapter 7 . 10/6
Well, the level of detail is awesome. We don't get much sci-fi stuff but, as always, the aliens are really interesting.
The second part is a bit out of place though. It is still part of the Ava plotline but it is becoming more and more detached from the main story. It is now almost equivalent to Scrat's part in the Ice Age movie. It is there but its connection to the main plotline is just incidental if not nonexistent.
The last part is head-scratching, why send a defense platform to do the task?
Really, every chapter, off kilter details like these always plagued the humans. Even if they just got a tiny part like this where there is not much details to work out. The first scene has its problems too like, why didn't the humans investigate first what these aliens could actually eat? They might as well have been serving them poison. Why is there military recruitment add on TV (of some sorts)? I even wonder why there is there such as a TV when we now have streaming services. Heck, why do adds still work like that (you can't skip them?) when we have like ad blockers, ad free mediums or, you know, the ability to skip them, now, like in the present? Many people hate ads and now we torture our alien guests with them? How "un-" futuristic are these humans? Really, in some details, our present modern world is more futuristic than they are.
Still, overall, it is great. More first contact stuff and futuristic stuff as well as interesting characters. Just that, the world building on the human side just makes me want to cry.
| Kira-117 chapter 7 . 10/5
The level of realism and attention to details is mind blowing add to that the world building and au history thats why i don’t really care who’s superior as long this writing style continues im satisfied. The problem is all that is only reserved for aliens humanity are not part of it. So im half satisfied lol
Humans keep acting stupid the more we go it looks like they are set up as a comedic relief for example in the ending why did they send a defense platform to do a stealth ship job(if that was not a joke I don’t know what is) ? why make stealth ships in the first place if your so careless about security that you let a very advance robot get stolen so you can spy on slavers ? how did they make a halo with no ships or massive orbital platforms ?
to reach that kind of technology we need to see the obvious signs and steps they took to get there . to jump over the tec tree like that with nothing to explain how the build it or where are the older models that the new ships are based on( no one can prefect a space ship on the first try )it truly make it seems they just found it.
Normally I wouldn’t complain about it and just assume that the author lacks talent to make it this realistic and its fanfic so no need to put him down. but you do have it like I said in the beginning the citadel side is so amazingly detailed and makes sense. But your humanity are crying in a desperate need for a world building.
and i got a question about that crazy asari that killed an entire world is she still part of the citadel and if yes why ,and will we get the history of that event or is it something said in passing that is only there to build the her character.
| Jim chapter 7 . 10/3
I really like this story. The technology you have invented for the story is pretty cool. The way you bring your characters to life makes them fit in perfectly. But my favorite parts are the little details you have created within your story. Can't wait for more.