|Reviews for Contact|
| TheH509 chapter 30 . 11/16
I've just caught up to the entire fics, and I have a few commentaries and critics
Let's start with the good things :
I'll admit it is very rare to see a fanfics that try and manage to have a competent citadel council, turians officers that aren't plain warmongers, or Quarians that would just accept humanity having both AI and yet getting into contact with them without much problems.
I will admit that while using Shepard nearly solely as a vehicle to show around the citadel culture, and expositon on its detail, can be a bit jarring, I would say that it also serve as another strong point of your fanfic, as it shows beyond simple Codexes entry what make each civilization of the citadel, a civilization with it's own cultures, tradition, and way of thinking.
However, your weakest point so far has been the wayy ou handled Humanity.
As others have pointed out there is simply too few informations in how a human society a thousand year in the future would work, and a few things of what I have seen seems to be more of a mishmash of different sci-fi show and universes more than anything.
And the greatest critic, is that the civilization built, plainly doesn't work.
You tell us that human longevity is capped at 150 because of concern of overpopulation. Which, while strange, seemed a tad fair. Until you revealed in this very chapter that the Solar system had an overpopulation problem of... 11 Billions...
Look I get that population growth has relatively stabilized in recent years, the thing is that such stabilization is both due to economic reason (as Children are a costly investment time and money-wise) which I'd think would be largely taken care of with the vast automation hinted at. Alongside a slow down of the augmentation of the average life-span of a human being.
Beside, Earth in food alone at this very moment can well support more people than there are right now, the main problem being transport.
The solar system alone, especially with the full exploitation that thousand years stuck within its confine could support a population well into the trillions.
You also mention (in the eyes of Tevos and the Council) the large diversity in term of skin color, genetc (presumably) and culture shown by humanity compared to the citadel species.
While I cannot talk about culture, especially with theh omogenization that FTL would allow accross Citadel Space, I can speak about the supposed genetic diversity.
The human species is one of the least genetically diverse mammalians, because of a population bottleneck suffered hundreds of thousands of years ago which reduced the human population to between 3 and 10 thousands individuals.
Either the citadel species went through far worse bottlenecks or there is some weird evolutionary fuckery going around.
You tell us about the extremely rapid construction of exceedingly complicated pieces of technology (2 or 3 days to build a Ultron Platform IIRC), yet also tell us that humanity is essentially putting 63% of its economy into this, all the while giving us a very low number of said platform (in comparison to the rapidity of production and resources supposedly sent to said build up).
On expansion, frankly, while I get why you went with it, I still think that colonies outside of the solar system could have been successfull, look at the first few attempts at colonizing the americas by the english, while they weren't successfull with colonies being lost more than one time, they still sent people and resources there, eventually geining enough of a foothold to truly thrive.
No reason why the loss of one or two colony ships would stop any attempt at expansion all together.
And finally : Quantum Entenglement.
This point is less aimed at this fanfic in particular, and more at every ME fanfic that make use of it.
QE can be used to also transfer energy, such as : electricity, heat, etc...
More over ships equipped with such would not even need a crew, they could be entirely piloted from bunkers deep within a planet's crust in complete safety.
In fact QE could be used to remove various ship component that would become entirely superfluous.
Ship reactor/energy reserve : QE could be used to tap energy directly from a safe energy grid with the same protection as the command bunker.
Ship radiator : Just dump the heat through QE, it could even be used to power up reactors through it
Ship computer : same as the command bunker really.
This would largely leave ships with only propulsion, armors, weapons system, and all the necessary circuitry to link them to the QE nodes.
In the end it seems like with humanity you want to have your cake and eat it. You both over and underpower humanity in way that just doesn't make sense to me.
Those are the main points I have mentally noted, I most likely have forgotten some, if new commentaries appear on other chapters then you'll know why.
Overall I rate the fic at a 7.5/10
Really cool new concepts, a very refreshing take on the whole first contact scenario seen so many times before, a competent citadel council, personnel, and species. Just a few points that I'm sure some would see as details but that still manage to unnerve me.
Keep up the good work !
| Meito Uchiha chapter 18 . 10/23
So the Reapers controlled the batarian ship hoping to instigate hostilities, likely so they could weaken each other.
| The Prime Cronos chapter 30 . 10/20
I Liked the Interview Part, i found IT very real/believable.
But I have to say I am a Bit disappointed with the Interactions with the Quarian. Simply taking Credits For the pilgrimage Sounds way too greedy For a young adult from a species that have to be very social/socialist society.
| MarauderPrime12 chapter 30 . 10/19
| Hadrian.Caeser chapter 30 . 10/18
| Scarease chapter 30 . 10/17
Shock reaper being such ass holes .As mayor mind being them want Society that be peace with Synthetics and here is society done exactly that .So if things done right then their would not be need for Cycle to continue .Sit back and observe this society then use their connect to promote change other races .
| Greatazuredragon chapter 30 . 10/17
Oh boy... the headaches are her being slowly indocrinated isn't it? O.o
Nice chapter, good work.
| evattude chapter 30 . 10/17
This is a great chapter! Can't wait to see what happens next!
| Pteaset chapter 30 . 10/17
So good I wish there were more good mask that story but every time just wanted to update it I’m always happy
| DarkChampion chapter 30 . 10/17
I like the shift in their interactions that happened. Trevose is starting to tease her.
| tom476ty18 chapter 30 . 10/17
While the story is at a slow pace, It is really interesting to see what is going on behind the scene.
Going back to the virus thing. Still don't believe that the Quarians are behind because if they have a virus that can do something like this then it raises the obvious question of why they haven't tried it yet. Sure someone could argue that the Virus was newly created. However, to use it against a human AI doesn't seem like the right move. Because one the virus was developed for the Geth which is a Quarian AI not human.
Who is to say it's going to work. Moreover, it found out it would antagonize the humans against the Quarians in the near future if humanity is to leave the solar system. This means this virus belongs to the reapers when it first contacted the Humans. I can already imagine the confusion of the Quarian admiralty when the human brings this accusation up to them.
However, I believe this confusion would also bring attention to the reapers who will be changing their plans to this unexpected situation involving humanity.
It is also interesting for you to do the interview. Not only does humanity know more about the council and its responsibilities. It also shows them about certain issues with the Batarians. Whether or not a war between humanity or the Batarians will occur is something I want to see down the line.
Great Chapter I look forward to seeing what is in store for the next.
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/7
Why didn't your humanity slow boat it to another system? We could do that within the next century irl.
| IHateGenericCereal chapter 29 . 10/1
Great chapter, I love the concept of the big boy AI so this is a fun plot development.
| CheesusChrist15 chapter 29 . 9/26
I hope this picks up, last 10 chapters have really dragged
| Xehanot chapter 19 . 9/25
Mint Sauce? Seriously?