Im liking where this is going keep up the good work

This will be interesting to see but Shirou can handle himself with his skill set, and I want for him to meet the unique characters of Gate.

update please

gate fanfic are always solid.

The pacing is a bit rushed but that might not necessarily be a bad idea. I like the premise and the way things are going.

However, grammar is a dealbreaker. To put it politely, it needs some SERIOUS work. I'm surprised, considering you're American and an aspiring novel writer. Also, you might want to put a line between paragraphs that occur a significant amount of time one after another, you know, as most authors here do.

I thought of a couple things that were bugging me so I had to make a second 'review'. Sorry 'bout that.

I don't know what you have planned but from the AN it sounds like it should be 'shocking' or 'unpredictable'. I can only hope you don't somehow ass-pull Servants or a Grail War. That would just kill this for me. I do hope that the armies of Saderan do something stupid to bring Shirou's righteous wrath upon them though.

Also, will he spam broken phantasms during the Battle of Alnus Hill? Against the Fire Dragon?

Last thing, I noticed you did make a reference about Shirou saving as many as he could and reuniting with Artoria/Arturia(I assume that is who the 'her' is... I doubt it's Sakura but that would explain Rin not talking to him, I guess) on top of 'the hill of swords'(Shouldn't that be Avalon?). So... this is some weird mix between UBW Shirou and Fate Shirou? I don't get it. If this is UBW True End Shirou shouldn't Rin be on good terms with him? If this is Fate Shirou then it makes sense that he wants to reunite with Saber. But it isn't? I think? I have no fucking clue why he would be so good with UBW if it is...

Just a couple things that I thought of afterwards so I came back to question it. I hope for some sort of clarification but I don't particularly need it. I can just 'pull the wool' over my own eyes, so to speak, and ignore it.

I can only see Shirou doing his duty as a 18 Visual Novel Protagonist proudly here. He will inevitably gain a harem through him saving cute girls. Rory? 'Saved' from Hardy by being fucking awesome. Lelei, Tuka, etc. Considering they fell for Itami by being a goofball who has good intentions, they will probably be throwing themselves at Shirou. That is if this Shirou is from Heaven's Feel(He doesn't seem to have Archer's arm) or UBW(Pretty sure this is the one you went with) routes. Shirou from UBW is strong and has a lot of untapped potential but in HF he projects Excalibur but at great cost. He also has limited use of Archer's arm before he dies.

This is an interesting first chapter, as is the combination of series.

I have to admit that it was really funny that, Shirou revealed the secret of magic and then, he retreated to the special region and let the metaphoric bomb explode, hahaha.

waiting for the next chapter, keep up the good work!

Cool

Could be a fun story to get into

That's nice. But u cold have provided a starting page saying maybeOne fine day...". I am actually interested in where this fic goes. It feels a bit rushed, but let's see what comes next because there r no proper fic regarding Shirou's in the Gate universe. So I am waiting for your next chapter.

Nice chapter

if i have one complain abaut this chapter was the pace is too fast and forceful

I like this a lot, always nice to see another one of those fate/gate crossovers.

I can imagine some people be disappointed by the lack of time spent on clock tower response or the reaction of the world at large to the reveal of magic but to be honest I like that we are taken straight into the action.

Curious if some people from military would know Kiritsugu, at least by his reputation as a mercenary/assassin.

The only thing i would like to point out is that is doesn't really fit for me that Shirou wears a military uniform. I always thought that even as a "civilian consultant" Shirou would take his gear along (if he has it that is). Depends on the amount of time that passed after the grail war but it would be awesome to have him wearing a holy shroud or some armor similar to the outfit worn by archer (maybe an earlier version of it).

That said, lots of bonus points for going with Shirou/Saber. I can't wait to see more of this.

It is not to write more and maybe it will be good story