|Reviews for My Sister's Secret|
| Sonic-Spyro chapter 2 . 11/12
Hi. My name is Salomão and I liked the chapter and for the next chapter I want Kim to get wet and fall to the ground like Rikki.
| Himiko Y chapter 2 . 10/17
She could be has bad has Charlotte or call Cleo for help.
| King Saruman chapter 2 . 10/16
And so Kim's solo tale continues...
First of all, thanks so much for the acknowledgement. I'm happy to have helped you out with that poem, and honoured to have contributed to what continues to be an extremely promising story. And just so you know... I actually threw in two Lord of the Rings references into said poem, I am a big fan of that franchise after all...
So Kim went through with her plan to explore Mako Island... and my, things certainly are moving fast for her here. So I see she's fallen victim to the Moon Pool already. Can't say that was a complete surprise, considering what the cover picture for this story displays, but I can't say I expected it to happen this soon within the story either. All that remains to be seen is exactly how she reacts to and deals with the upcoming change. Will she tell anyone at all? Who else will find out? Will she be able to keep her secret from the wrong kind of people? And the fact that she's due to start school shortly really isn't going to help things either. Guess it'll all unfold in its own time...
Though I still dread her reaction when she sees her own tail and puts two and two together regarding the tail she saw in the bathroom all those years ago... her next meeting with Cleo should be interesting, that's for sure...
And I see Elliot has been mentioned. Sure, it was only a passing mention within Kim's head and all, but it does make me wonder if he'll pop up within this story at all. Though from what we learn from Kim's thoughts, things still don't seem to be overly rosy between them at all, so I certainly can't see any meetings of the two of them going overly well, not at first anyway. Although given that it is made clear that the two of them are going to be attending separate schools, that probably lessens the amount of potential chance meetings between them. And though they may not exactly be dating material, it would be nice to at least see them getting along at some point. At least Kim can admit that she took advantage of him last time, that's definitely progress in Kim's attitude towards him.
Anyway, keep the ball rolling!
| Czechm8 chapter 2 . 10/11
Nice poem. Flows well and definitely describes Cleo’s life as a mermaid. It’s hard for someone with a huge secret, like Cleo, to keep it to herself, even though she had her friends and others to tell her secret to.
Am curious though, why did you switch POV’s? It’s not a complaint, just an question.
Kim probably spent close to 10 hours unconscious?! In my story, see profile, Will is probably only unconscious for 2 hours. Neither is good, but I suppose you needed a way to fit in her transformation this chapter. Right?
It’s going to be an interesting first day of school.
| Czechm8 chapter 1 . 10/11
Nice summary. This was not an area the show explored, rather it would be a new series. Still, I’ll look at it.
I thought the balloon spelling should be FAREWELL instead of FARWELL. That’s probably what you meant.
I think you’re doing a great job with character analysis. You’ve created reasonable personalities for the characters. You’re doing great.
| YaleAceBella12 chapter 2 . 9/19
Please write more.
| Guest chapter 2 . 9/15
I love the story so far
| Flaresouth chapter 1 . 9/4
Amazing story. Really love where it's going. I hope Kim understands in Chapter 3! Really looking forward to finding out what her power is. Is it the same as Cleo's? Will she tell Elliott?
| CalvinHobbesGatsby chapter 2 . 8/31
This is a great story so far, please continue
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/20
This is really good! Fits in well with canon. I want to know what happens!
| Puolalainen25 chapter 1 . 4/25
Great work, hope you update soon!
| Maldog22344 chapter 1 . 4/14
Please make more
| Pl chapter 1 . 4/12
hey you thought you were dead but I came back
| BethShadows chapter 1 . 4/10
Nice chapter!.Your characterisaztiom of Kim is amazing
It's great to see her written as a real person, not just a 2-dimensional character who only exists to cause trouble.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter, keep up the good work!
-BethShadows (mako-and-tails-and-stuff on tumblr)
| King Saruman chapter 1 . 4/10
So, an H2O story starring Kim Sertori. This should be quite an interesting tale (no pun intended?) to follow. I do like the premise, and I quite like what's been written so far, you've certainly depicted Kim very well, capturing her personality in the series with an emphasis on the hidden depths of her character thrown in, and I would love to see how she develops as this story goes on. As a character, I do feel Kim has a lot to show us that she never got a chance to in the series, and I also think there's so much untapped potential within her to be unleashed, and this story might just be the answer to that little injustice.
I see Kim and Cleo's relationship is still relatively the same as it was in the series, with there still being a good bit of an emotional distance between them. Rather saddening when you think about it. Though at least Kim does seem to have mixed feelings about Cleo going off to college, and Cleo does think to herself at one point that she is going to miss Kim despite their differences, so perhaps there is a ray of hope for them there. Obviously, with Cleo leaving home, I doubt we'll be seeing much interaction between them in the near future, but I still look forward to see what becomes of their relationship as the story progresses. At the end of the day, they are still sisters after all.
And then there's Kim's relationship with Sam. From what I can see, things do seem to be better between them than what their relationship was originally, but I suspect there's still progress to be made there. I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot more interaction between them as this story goes on, and I do look forward to see how they connect as stepmother and stepdaughter.
And as for what I suspect will be the driving force of this story... So I see Kim never truly shook off her suspicions about Cleo big secret after all, despite Cleo seemingly putting her off it, seeing as how Kim kept printed extracts from her sister's diary. I suppose that incident was rather hard to forget, even if Cleo did come up with a rather good excuse for what Kim saw in the bathroom that one time, as well as for the content of the diary itself. Which now leads to the fact that Kim wants to explore Mako Island in the near future. And if the title picture of this story is anything to go by, as well as the fact that the AN emphasises the fact that the Moon Pool is still active, I can only guess where that will lead her...
And I can only wonder how Kim will take it should she discover exactly what Cleo was keeping from her... knowing their already strained relationship, that can't end well...
On a side note though, it is rather heartwarming to see Emma and Bella getting along as friends. I guess there is room in the group for more than three Mermaids after all...
Anyway, terrific first chapter, and keep it coming.