|Reviews for Hit & Run|
| Dreamer1701 chapter 1 . 4/3
I really like this!
| Mikaelus chapter 1 . 3/9/2020
HIT & RUN — REVIEW
So I’m sure that f-romanoff-13 believes me to be impossible to please lately, as my last few reviews haven’t quite been favorable. In my defense, I never called them bad; but while they had at least a few redeeming qualities, they just didn’t really appeal to me personally. In the eyes of anyone irrational enough, my reviews could be misconstrued as either a personal vendetta or a fanfiction-destroying rampage. Whatever you call it, I’m pleased to say that it ends now. After all the less positive reviews I’ve left of late, today sees me leaving much higher praise — not because I’m tired of being negative, but because this story really earns it.
Hit & Run is an exceptional piece in f-romanoff-13’s gallery of works, and while there are a lot of reasons why, they can all be summed up here in one blanket statement; it is very true to life. Let’s take a look.
First of all, I have to give credit to the teaser before the actual story. “‘I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but there's been an accident.’ There's nothing like almost losing someone to make you realize how much you need them.” The first sentence mercilessly throws us into the thick of it, giving us a hint of what we’re about to dive into — like smelling the wine before actually tasting it. The second explains exactly what sort of story this is going to be, as well as the moral in a nutshell. Maybe a little on the nose, but since this a short story, we allow it. If nothing else, f-romanoff-13 knows how to tease their audience.
As for the main story, if one was fool enough not to read the teaser, the first few sentences are masterfully crafted to lure that one into a false sense of security. It feels very much like the first scene of Ant-Man and the Wasp, if on a smaller, more realistic scale. Coming from the author of Cassie Lang: Matchmaker, one might almost believe this will be nothing but fluff. But once that fateful call reaches its end, you can feel the blood drain from your face.
The majority of this story makes you feel exactly the sort of terror, anxiety, and grief Scott is going through, and it does it in a very realistic way. One touch that I particularly enjoy is how vague the situation is kept, and who the victim is, until it all comes out. And when it does, it isn’t pretty — which is a big part of what I mean when I praise this story’s realism. Hit & Run doesn’t shy away from the uglier aspects of the situation, starting with Scott’s sickened reaction to the truth. It may not be glamorous, and I consequently doubt the Marvel movies would actually do it, but it’s a more than reasonable reaction given the circumstances.
Probably the most gut-wrenchingly realistic scene description is when Scott, and the audience, is finally allowed to see Hope. The way the author writes the details — the equipment, the injuries, the very emptiness of the room — is relentlessly focused on what matters. Scott, in this story, is right; it’s hard to imagine Hope Van Dyne in this state. But this description makes it much easier to see in your mind.
And once you’ve made it through these scenes, you’ve made it through the shock and initial heartbreak. Now you’ve got plenty of grief to enjoy. Oh, I’m not kidding, paragraphs thirty-five to forty-two are just MISERABLE, and rightfully so. It hurts to see Scott, Hank and Janet so scarred by what’s happened. And once again, the attention to detail really shines here. Scott and the author both vividly recall every word said during the days of Hope’s coma, because at this point, details matter. One detail that might split people, though, is the revelation of the drunk driver’s identity and motive. I myself have gone back and forth on it. Upon first reading, I felt like the author was just doing some world-building, but inadvertently taking us out of the scene in the process. But when I really thought about it, I realized not only was it one more bit of realism in this already-realistic story — in real life, the police probably would keep the victim’s family up to date on the investigation — but I think it’s actually MEANT to disturb the flow of the narrative. Think how this sounds to Hope’s family; it’s the one “good” thing that happens during these painful days, and the bottom line is it does them no good. Sanderson being accused and eventually pleading guilty doesn’t bring Hope back. It may be good news, but it’s not the good news they want.
And finally, we get to the end. Let’s not kid ourselves; we all knew Hope would come out of it. F-romanoff-13 isn’t sadistic enough to kill Hope off this way, and we appreciate that. We came here expecting a happy ending, and we got it. But that doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate all the fear and misery that’s been conveyed this whole story, or that we’re not tearfully joyous when we see Hope has woken up. Just as shock and sorrow have been portrayed accurately in this story, so is relief. The way the characters’ motions, expressions, even the quality of their voices really delivers us the feelings. Even though we could guess what was coming, we feel relieved because Scott, Hank and Janet do. And there’s no better time for Scott to finally confess, nor is there a better way to capitalize on the already-existing glee. Put simply, I can’t praise this story enough.
Sadly, though, I can still nitpick a few things about it, though. This might be really reaching, but I wouldn’t have minded a couple of what I can only describe as “act breaks” to show the passage of time. For instance, one moment, Cassie is saying that it’s not Hope on the phone — and the very next line, it’s minutes later, and Scott is waiting for the chance to head to the hospital. Talk about a jarring transition. I don’t mind that we’re skipping ahead, or that we get the phone call in flashback, but when you’re telling your story in a non-visual medium, it helps to clarify when we’re going from one scene to the next. Just a row of dashes (like what I’ll put after this sentence, as an example) or something between scenes is all I ask.
The only other thing I can honestly complain about is Scott’s dialogue at the end. On top of being clichéd and a bit too sappy for a Marvel character like him, it just doesn’t sound like real life dialogue (which is especially problematic in a story that’s been hitherto so accurate to real life). He just starts way too many sentences with “Sixteen days” or “Without” to say exactly the same thing over and over; that he’s missed everything about Hope. It comes across as redundant. If that wasn’t enough, his following confession is a little drawn out too, and I think the culprit is the brief, pointless sentence “Actual, living hell”. If he had just said “These last sixteen days have been hell, and I couldn’t wait a second longer to tell you how much I love you”, then it would have stood a better chance, but as it stands… there’s a great irony to this when the last paragraph of the story starts with Scott worrying that he’s said too much. I laugh to myself because he has — just not in the way that he thinks. I suppose that, to its credit, this is the first flaw in an f-romanoff-13 fanfic that I’ve been able to laugh at as opposed to wince at, but still a flaw.
But as I have in the past, I’m willing to overlook what the author does wrong in favor of what they do right — and in this story, there’s a lot done right. It’s hurt, it’s comfort, it’s family, it’s love… it’s just what I hoped it would be. My recent reviews have seen me hesitant or conditional about recommending fanfictions to other readers, but this one sees me recommend this story without a second thought. Hit & Run is a hit with me.
Well done, f-romanoff-13. Well done.
| ninjadevil2000 chapter 1 . 2/5/2020
Aaaaah this was so flippin amazing! I loved it so much. Well done
| Susan M. M chapter 1 . 6/26/2019
Some times it takes something like this before you can get the courage to say I love you.