Reviews for A Dovahkiin Spreads His Wings |
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![]() ![]() This is frankly a masterpiece of a fanfiction in its own right. Understanding of the world and its characters, with a masterful display of how the houses would behave given the variations in the world. I will first give a few critiques. To begin with, the politics of the brewing war leave… a bit to be desired. You keep speaking of how dire the bitch queen in control of kings landing is, but from the start she would only have tentative control over the crownlands, some minor houses, and thats it. With the vale, north and riverlands against her in the north, the reach and dorne against her in the south (given how well known lanister hate is in dorne, or absolute inaction the rest of the time, they would stay neutral or help, meaning their stance remains rather irrelevant), it would mean only the westerlands remains a possible ally for her. Given kevins nature, he would be hesitant to start with, and given at least 4 kingdom's would be going against him, he would hesitate or at least stay neutral. That would leave the bitch queen with the gold cloaks, the remaining Lannister troops in the capital, and some support from minor nobles. She would have at most 30,000 troops at her disposal, vs what, 60,000 from the reach, 20,000 each from the north, vale, and riverlands, maybe another 20,000 from the dornish, and whoever rally's behind sheeren from dragonstone. Granted, there is confusion with missing high lords and the sort, but that would easily be remedied. Even with the Greyjoy's at her side, they would need to compete with the redwyne fleet, slowly growing northern fleet, dornish fleet, dragonstone fleet,and possibly the rebuilding Lannisport fleet. Which brings me to the second issue. Its too clear cut right now. There is either one side or the other. Little political dick measuring, disputes etc. i know its promised in the future, but maybe a few more arguments before conclusions are reached would not go amiss. Then the other, incredibly minor issue, in your works summary, add that john arryn survives for longer delaying the initial start to the main plot. Having older characters, and a slightly different timeline threw me off at the stat as i was trying to figure things out, especially with the dates being after the year 300 before the plot really gets going. But while on this topic, the way you adapted the plot to the timeline change is absolutely brilliant, well done. I hope you bring over an imperial legion. Honestly, it would be fucking hilarious and amazing to read about a legion tearing up westeros. Peoples reactions would be amazing to read in this work. And the whole jon/Serana relationship… you are complicating it too much. I get the misgivings, but time heals wounds. Long life can be countered by turning jon. The issues are frankly non issues in my view, or at least not ones that should be keeping the frankly quite simple relationship they have so complicated and convoluted to this point that she is freaking out over marriage and getting it on in the bedroom. Its really putting a whole sour taste on what should be a growing, occasionally troubled, relationship that by now should be going strong and not wallowing around in pointless indecision and overcomplicated nonissues. But other than my few issues, great work and keep going! |
![]() ![]() ![]() This is a very captivating story. I've never watched more than a few clips of Game of Thrones and even that was only after reading a particularly interesting fanfic. Yours is one that is similarly enjoyable. Perhaps even more so because of all the Skyrim ties which I at least understand more thoroughly without having to look something up like I did for my fic GoT story. Your characterizations are incredibly well written out and captivating. I especially like how you've handled all this action recently with the different twists and turns. I would with the different twists and turns. My only criticism would be the spelling/grammar errors that pop up a few times a chapter. There were a couple in this one including the Arya section with one about a guy getting stabbed in his "knew" They take you out of the immersion briefly but to be clear, as I've said, the story is good enough it's easy to get back into it pretty quickly. Her and Gender getting saved like that was done excitingly well even though I kept expecting him to show up. I wish I was able to leave more reviews, but I've been so busy power reading through this that I haven't had time to break in-between. Thank you again for creating this wonderful universe. It's even gotten me wanting to start up Skyrim again. |
![]() ![]() ![]() You killed him like that just for the Clue reference. i know you did |
![]() ![]() ![]() This story is really incredible, I hope you can continue it, I like |
![]() ![]() ![]() TYSM for creating this wonderful piece its really been a great read i hope you'll update soon but i also know that real life takes precedence over our hobbies, I hope you the best of luck in your endeavors 3 |
![]() ![]() ![]() okay so i like some of the storey but i find that is frustrating that john dose not wont the crown. can you tell me if john or Danny is going to go for the throne. as if not then i will look for a new story as this would not be what i am after. but ether way still wishing you the best with this. |
![]() ![]() Fucking wish fulfillment bullshit, just because Ellia was Dornish shouldn’t mean she was ok with the marriage. That is some of the most smooth brained thinking I’ve ever seen. It was Lyanna and Rhaegar’s fault for the war, plain and simple. Rhaegar was obsessed with prophecy. |
![]() ![]() Gotta say this fic is slow pace done wrong it has taken jon way too long to go back to skyrim and its strating to get boring |
![]() ![]() ![]() Loved the little Morrigan/Crow thing you did, the Chapter itself was fantastic, can't wait for the next one, hopefully on Jon POV for Dorne... Euros is a nasty guy, in the books he had a Horn capable, theoretically, of controlling dragons, but burning the user lungs... kill him quickly that would be nice, a Th'uhm in his face would be perfect... |
![]() ![]() ![]() I honestly dont want to read this shit anymore. I read a different novel about a dragonborn which is the reason why im reading this. I was expecting someone op but he's as far from op as i am from being the king of england. How did his magical power exhaust just after a few uses of healing hands? I never played any of the games and honestly, i dont think i want to. Only doing one or 2 spells then having to wait hours for his mana to come back? I guess it's cool that he has a really cool background, but it almost feels like he;s a chibinu or whatever they are called and everyone's playing along. How tf did this guy kill alduin? He's a joke. It doesnt help knowing that apparently he's been pegged in the past, like who tf wants to read this shit. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Im still slightly confused, i understand that the targaryans are always called dragon born but dont have anything specific to boost them other than the bond potential with dragons. Is jon not a skyrim dragon born though? One with the soul and blood of a literal dragon? But i guess some targaryans have dragon blood in them since they are impervious to fire or whatever |
![]() ![]() ![]() I dont exactly know much about the dragonborn but dont they get more strength than normal people? I thought they even had the physical strength of a dragon, so im slightly confused on why he didnt just grab the shadowcat? He never needed his bow to take it down |
![]() ![]() ![]() I'm shocked people aren't panicking even more with both Jon *and* Enzo using all three words of Unrelenting Force. It's gotta be the loudest shout I can remember, and discarding the Greybeards' use of the Throat of the World, even Draugr who use it have it echoing for a good second or two. Ain't no way nobody's noticing that or the tremors that'd bring. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I have a feeling V will have a mama bear moment if Med pushes her luck too far. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Took me days to finish reading this chapter. It was worth it though. |