Reviews for The Player is a Part Timer |
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![]() ![]() More i want more, god this is soo good |
![]() ![]() Still waiting for the next chapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() For English not being your first language, it was alright, but you seem to overcompensate severely with punctuation. I would recommend a program like Grammarly, with the caveat that you should read aloud its suggestions to make sure the program is giving you a "right sounding" suggestion as it is mildly inaccurate when it comes to editing narrative writing. Another thing. No one speaks in a semi-colon and in narrative writing the semi-colon is 99.99% of the time never used as when it comes to pacing it is better to use commas and periods. |
![]() ![]() ![]() What race is she |
![]() ![]() ![]() Any Updates yet pls |
![]() ![]() ![]() Well, that was fun. Gillian can easily use the Excalibur fragments that they choose her over their original wielders, as seen with Excalibur Destruction where it burned Xenovia's hands and blasted her away. Dominus has his goons go to issue the challenge to Gillian, her brother accepting it on her behalf. Rias, Sona, and Ravel tell Gillian's brother this, and he knows on her behalf. Rias swearing in her heart to find out who Gillian and her brother are for real, whatever it takes. What the poor and pitiable devil girl didn't suspect is that it'll be revealed sooner who Gillian and her brother really are than she expected. It'll be a shock. Quick question, Gillian is basically a true neutral character in all of this, correct? She's only affiliated with herself and her brother. She will never join any side, thus she will never join either Rias or Sona's peerages. Not to mention that the two devil heiresses have to protect Gillian and her cafe, since said cafe is part of their territory and they have to protect it and aid her. Great chapter, man. Hope to see more~. |
![]() ![]() ![]() THE HEART OF GOD HAS BEAT ONE MORE TIME |
![]() ![]() ![]() I feel like the conversation between Gillian and Kiba was very one-sided. More like a Gillian speech than a conversation/discussion. Other than that the fanfic is very good, thanks for the chapter |
![]() ![]() ![]() the grammar is quite poor indeed |
![]() ![]() ![]() iseki denied lol |
![]() ![]() ![]() just 2 homies talking about employment, nothing weird here |
![]() ![]() ![]() Any Updatrs yet pls |
![]() ![]() genial siguiente capitulo |
![]() ![]() ![]() Something about the way this story is written makes it really difficult to read. I can explain it, but it just doesn't flow. |
![]() ![]() REVIEW MY STORY! www dot fanfiction dot net/s/14011295/1/Caillou-Montana ‘’ |