Reviews for Danmachi : The Multiverse Version Of Bell Cranel
bariczarnold chapter 1 . 9/10/2019
Try to read a bit more, and improve your grammar. The way it is now, i get tired just by trying to read the first chapter.
No second language excuse (english is my 3rd). You either improve or you stories will remain on the level they are on right now.
Guest chapter 8 . 9/3/2019
When are you going to make more chapters
Satellizersama chapter 8 . 8/30/2019
Where's Ryuu
I'm wanna see her
colebryant246 chapter 7 . 8/16/2019
Trying to make this question sound as innocent as possible, but do you not originally speak/type English? Some of the word placing sounds strange. Not trying to say this is a bad story. This story is great so far. I'm just curious is all.
Marshall Cross Marian chapter 7 . 8/9/2019
Good battle bro. Quite interesting to see revis as ally too. Hehe
Satellizersama chapter 7 . 8/9/2019
As i thought Bell's harem is really something.
I want to see all the girls fight for him.
It is gonna be amusing.
Guest chapter 7 . 8/8/2019
All the fangirl moments are cringey
Guest chapter 3 . 8/8/2019
This is amazing!
Rei101 chapter 6 . 8/7/2019
The story has potential. I think you need a proof reader to help sort your story in proper English. But no worries as I can tell English isn’t your first language. But should You intend to get more readers. You might want to consider having someone translate it from your main language.
Im The Person chapter 6 . 8/6/2019
Bell x Ryuu
Bukkacake chapter 5 . 8/5/2019
Oh nooooo, my few remaining brain cells
dragonfighter11 chapter 1 . 8/5/2019
Get a beta reader... or two. Its almost unreadable
Nashrad chapter 4 . 8/3/2019
My thoughts on the fanfic: it’s clear English isn’t your first language however your creativity makes up for it with the different scenes and plots your able to think of.
But I wanted to point some things out, it’s a fanfic so it’s your choice on how you want to go about the story but atleast let the characters have their basic reasoning; Mikato loves take, so there’s no reason for her to fan girl about Bell especially when she’s seen as the same as bell: dense and pure. Riveria is a mother figure to Ais so it’s weird when you see the 60 year old mother figure again, fangirl around Bell especially when she’s supposed to be a royal and respectful elf.
Also lefiya calling Bell brother but then saying “I have a mature body” and implying sexual acts is fucking weird - like twisted.
You can change and stretch the characters but don’t stretch them to the point where it’s like you no longer know them - like this character can be anyone else.
Also the fangirling drags on quite a lot.

Overall, it’s a fanfic so you can change the story but keep some originality in there - the reason as to why we like danmachi in the first place.
Thanks
OrionEdalosss chapter 5 . 8/3/2019
Haha Bete got what he deserved! Ooooh boy where is this going? xD Great chap yet again!
Marshall Cross Marian chapter 4 . 8/1/2019
LoL. Thumbs up fro perverted Aiz and Lefiya. Hahaha. Nicely made.
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