Man this work was really well done. It's technical negatives actually made the work better in my opinion. Like the focusing on fewer characters etc.

Great work so far but Snape does not deserve sympathy. Everything he did was needed repentance for the crimes he committed previously.

turning your charactera into morons instead of just making their opponents smart is the sign of a lazy writer

Such a good story. And its finished too. I love it

So good!

The Weasley parents sudden deaths kinda feels a bit like lazy writing to me but other than that great work.

Ron as Dumbledore's advisor and confidant is so fun to read. I assumed Tom had taken subtle control like the diary but if red prevailed it seems as though Harry absorbed Tom's superior qualities into himself.

Mannn... Great work and didn't mind the Fleur pairing but really? That's how you gonna do Hermione? Not a best friend or even friend scenario?

To be fair how you gonna have him complain and get all angry about Bill and completely forget that he also is attempting to take Harry from his sister and their children.

Understandable with the mental age difference but still man shame no Ron and Hermione.

Snape being a dick hardly warrants for much respect (not like they don't all fearfully give it to him anyway). Other than that though I'm loving the work. Well written so far and gotta love my boy Ron getting some sort of props even if it's not fully Ron.

I surprisingly liked this story a lot. Thank you author

It always bugs me that they get this part wrong.

Apparition in the books are described as instantaneous, only feeling as if you'd taken a step forward

Side-along apparition, where someone else pulls you along, feels as if you're being sucked through a straw.

Not really important for a fanfiction though, either way, good story. I'm enjoying it greatly so far.

Finally we have established Harry isn't being possessed. But he has been hiding some things.

Have we established it? Tom might be in control and fooled Ron/SI.

You constantly switch between 1st person and 3rd person POV, seemingly without realizing you're doing it. It's bad, but usually it's not so jarring. This sentence though is terrible:

"My faithful wand shot into his right hand as he cast a quick tempus quietly"