The writing here is terrible. It's littered with obvious mistakes that are both annoying and confusing to read. One of these problems is that the story starts out by saying Rapture is beneath the Atlantic Ocean. And yet, for the rest of the story, Rapture is in Antarctica.

I'm not sure why this was published without any sort of polish or even, it seems, a second read-through to catch any of these mistakes. As it stands, the public shouldn't read it because it's not ready.

Please update soon

Am I the only one thinking humans are too op there's no challenge

Noooo! A cliffhanger! Really like where this is going. Also really like How you swung the rachni situation.

This is an amazing story and I have had a lot of fun reading it. Its very well written with sound grounding and believable plotlines. Its also been fun reading about the Terran Tech and their Superweapons. I can't wait for the next installment!

Look forward to the next chapter

This fic is awesome. I hope you continue it. Quick suggestion, in a earlier chapter the Ranchi Empress stated that the Ranchi wars was because something was controlling the Hive Queens. That because of this the Empress does not hold the actions of the Council or the Kogan against them. Tell these Ambassadors this, let them know that whatever was controlling them is gone and they learned how to protect themselves from mind control to stop it from happening again. Hopefully that might calm everyone down and stop millions of heart attacks and people from cowering under their beds in fear. Also have the Council members and major news networks brought to the Nexus. Rub it in their faces that their central seat of government is not the biggest or nicest one out there. Don't know if you have already thought of these two ideas or not, but I thought I should throw them out there for you to think about if you hadn't.

Good thing there are no guards with weapons on the Citadel side or they would have probably opened fire immidiately. although, they still have biotics and omni tool programs they could use...

You seem to use the wrong word all the time in this. Like when you say mayor colonies that's wrong. You mean to say major colonies. A mayor is a political appointed person that runs a town or city. Major is either a military rank or meaning important, serious, or significant. That's the word you want to use.

I take this as an example of English not being your first language since on your profile you're using this to practice so I wanted to point this out so you can fix that as you do it in every chapter so far.

One other thing, in English when you have someone talking when the sentence ends you have to use something like . or , at the end.

You write it like: "We're here to stay " He said.

It should look like. "We're here to stay." He said.

There's a period there at the end, sometimes it's a comma it depends on how the sentence goes and if he continues talking. I'm a little fuzzy on the rule myself but you can easily look it up.

Not a bad story, but you keep misusing the term ‘sentenced’ - it means to pass judgement.

Cliche cerberus shit... huh why everyone use this setting..

I simply hate the Citadel, especially those damn Asari.
Pfft... they never are the most advanced species in the galaxy. They're just using a remnant of a technology from an old empire. I may have hate to the arrogance of Turians but the Asari are just damn manipulative b*tches who want to own everything.

I don't know about you, but Rapture forming a government, seems like they're already falling for "Altruism"

NOT Compassion as Jack Ryan pointed out, but people's constant desire to follow other people, a leader, a god, a government, a movement, a race etc alongside even just addicting themselves to others' approval and maybe even submission while maybe going on about some "Greater Good"

Are there at least requirements to be able to vote AND hold government power? Jack was a politician and businessman at the same time

"Ariel Schnee chapter 1 . Apr 22
English is not your first language, is it now? I can tell. Misspelled words, incorrect words, and lack of a punctuation mark at the ends of your sentences.

Please get someone who knows English to beta this."

Which would pretty much rule you out, wouldn't it?

MOAR PLS