|Reviews for The Secret|
| Glowstar826 chapter 20 . 7/3
This was such a WONDERFUL story! I love how Snape and Lily were married briefly and how they really loved each other, because that hidden love helps Snape settle into his fatherly role more easily and more seamlessly. I also like the fluffiness with the father/son moments, and I like how Harry and Snape get along really well and how they even have lighthearted banter. Thank you for writing such a good Severitus story, for it really warmed my heart.
| 50FuckingCabbages chapter 12 . 6/21
Ooooohhh shiiiiiittt No other snake knows he's Harry's father, he's going to be sooooo pissed when the blood quill incident happens
| 50FuckingCabbages chapter 6 . 6/20
OR THEM! love this so damn much.
| 50FuckingCabbages chapter 1 . 6/20
| Guest chapter 4 . 4/30
When you find out that the boy you bullied for years is your son...
| Lamatadora chapter 21 . 4/3
Thanks, I really like tour story
I'm gonna read rising generation
| Joe Oudeis chapter 21 . 2/28
First of all: Your general writing style is fine, you're good at making both the narrating and the spoken passages seem right and not out of place. Your grammar and your spelling is also, at least to my knowledge, always on point.
But this story has one big problem: It's progressing way too fast. It is okay until Snape and Harry accept that they are father and son. But after that everything happens in a rush. During those three months they are not only able to put aside four years of mutual hate and anger, but also work through their various personal problems, starting with the suffered abuse up to Voldemort himself. Yes, Harry is a very forgiving person. And yes, he is seeking a father figure. But Snape has bullied him from the very first day on and he is no saint. He made fun of Hermione's big teeth for Merlin's sake! There should be more resentment on Harry's side and Snape should at least make one mistake during their bonding.
Apart from that, Voldemort is too flat, he's doing nothing but being fooled by Snape and than being angry. He isn't threatening or hateable or anything, he's just being bad because he can be. Next time, please, let him mock some more, or actually kill someone, or describe his torture sessions in more detail ( not just, "he throws some bad spells and they are very dangerous"). Let us really fear for Snape through Harry. On a general notion, you should give us more insight in the feelings and emotions of your characters, that is often cut too short.
The next one is a very common one with Snape mentors Harry fictions, but it's nevertheless annoying over time: Giving up their most important spy in the middle of war should have way more consequences and not be done that quickly, at least not by Dumbledore. There are a lot of lives to be considered here, far more than just Harry's. He might be the most important one, but he wouldn't die should Snape continue to spy. And he takes the prophesy far too lightly. I get that in your story he doesn't have to kill Voldesnorts. But he neither worries about what that power might be nor how it might affect his father and his friends when he is the only one being able to defeat Snake Face. And for a fifteen-year-old to accept his death that easily, although he has just found his father? I can't believe that one either.
There are some more, but I believe I have gotten my point easily across: Take way more time for developments. And if you don't like Voldemort, than either spin some tale about him dying before the beginning of the story or ignore the horcruxes and kill him very early on. And please don't take this review as a flame. It isn't supposed to be one, but a way for you to improve. You do have the talent for writing great fanfictions, but in order to get better you have to know where your weaknesses are. And if you disagree on any point or otherwise whish to correct one of my notions as false, please pm me! I am aware that this is just my point of view and others might have a completely different impression or opinion.
| itisjosie chapter 17 . 2/25
Hahaha, get her Minerva!
| Guest chapter 19 . 2/2
More Snape and Harry family
| TwilightEverlastingly chapter 21 . 2/2
you havent marked this as complete yet, just letting you know
| MagicLia16 chapter 20 . 1/15
This was sooo good! I absolutely loved it! I was a little skeptical at first, but the way you wrote the characters was genius. This was a wonderful fic! Thanks for writing!
| CHARLES chapter 20 . 1/4
i almost quit after 3 chapters, glad I didn't
| CHARLES chapter 15 . 1/4
GLAD YOU ARE GONNA HOOK UP HARRY AND HERMONIE
,I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT THEY SHOULD GET TOGETHER
| CHARLES chapter 14 . 1/4
LIKE IT NOW
| charleleebabbgn chapter 13 . 1/4