Reviews for Kallen's redemption in classic three-act structure
The Man Sitting Under A Tree chapter 29 . 10/22/2023
From start to finish, everyone was out of fucking character. People just don’t talk that way whether in fiction or in real life. It’s like you got ahold of a dictionary and decided to use all the big words you could find. The way you wrote how these characters act don’t even feel like them. It’s such a shame because this plot actually has so much potential… then you turned it into such a disgusting mess. Everything is fucking cringe as well, like the chapter titles which you are so very proud of, it reads like a 14 year old trying to mix up random words to sound quirky. If it’s a crack fic I’d understand, but naaah bro it’s horrendous. I really REALLY hope this is just me flaming this story, but it’s actually the objective truth. My fault for reading it all the way through goddamn.
ErwinvonBeckendorf chapter 14 . 4/14/2023
"And it's trending with '#massacreprincess'… oh, dear." Announced the young commander fearfully, her hands passively shaking ever so slightly. "Oh… no, Euphie's account posted a video…"

*aggresive Growls can be heard in the background*
ErwinvonBeckendorf chapter 13 . 4/14/2023
Mah, i think changing Euphys character is in this case an character assassination

Hope that she doesn’t go down the dark path like the rest of her siblings
Guest chapter 29 . 10/9/2022
Where the fuck did the story go? Hey, audience, can you help us find the story? The author seems to have unraveled its entire fucking continuity.

Jesus Christ, from start to finish, this was trash.
DzNuts134 chapter 29 . 9/25/2022
God this is so fucking retarded. It started nicely, then you brought Euphie back. CU won't just return souls of departed because of Geass, Canon Geass isn't so powerful like it was in NoN. But no, let's just add Deus Ex Machina to tickle drama, we are smart aren't we. However while this trope was stupid as fuck, it would've been a good reason to stop Zero Requiem, Suzaku is betrayer in nature so it's not surprising for him to betray Lelouch again. Then Lelouch could've to forget about ZR and find a nature of life and absolution by being a just emperor, with Kallen and C.C to support him.

And then you added Marrybell's arc, her cringe singing and unnecessary madness. What the fuck did Marry did to you? How the fuck did you turn Kallen-centric fic into clusterfuck of PoVs and similar shit? Entire coup arc was so terrible that even Akito movie looks like thriller bestseller compared to this. Excalibur another Deus Ex Machina, guarded only by 5 people and not geassed to shoot anyone who isn't Emperor his Knights and Consorts? Lelouch wasn't that dumb to allow such weapon to be protected so terribly.

There are lots of plot holes and weird decisions you did there author, but I still read you fic author-san. Sorry for long rant but I'm so pissed that a promising fic turned into Dollar Store Game of Thrones
DarthPrince chapter 29 . 9/22/2022
I'm so glad you killed off Anya, since it shows you're not afraid of killing main characters... But wait, what am I talking about, Glinda Knights are the main cast, and they're doing perfectly fine. Who knew taking the capital of the Empire is so easy? Certainly not Schneizel. But it's not his fault, you can't blame him for not having Glinda Knights in his employ.
Hope you'll kill off those pesky antagonists, like those stupid Kallen and Suzaku brats, they're not that tough. Suzaku couldn't even kill nobody in a direct confrontation, what a champ. And Lelouch. Amazing super plans saving damsels in distress. While he's doing that, we all can enjoy listening to C.C. screams for another few days. Glory to the Glinda Knights.

Fucking incredible the ways authors can get lost in their own head sometimes.

Joking aside, I think that you're a talented writer, just not that great at overall pacing and quick to lose focus. There are more apparent problems in later chapters, but aside from that, maybe work on your slow romance writing, because it feels like you can only write romance if it's angsty or tragic, but if everyone is content and there are no apparent drama then you're fleeing to the hills.
On a plus side, you set up tension incredibly well, and your dialog and character voices are all great. ...Maybe aside from later chapters, it got really too much with side characters and music references.
DarthPrince chapter 26 . 9/22/2022
I hope the next chapter is about Glinda Knights painting their nails and singing your favorite songs.

Wait, it's not "Glinda Knights' redemption in classic three act structure"? But-but I could've sworn...
DarthPrince chapter 19 . 9/22/2022
Your problem with Marrybell is that you didn't need her. Right now she's this story's Suzaku. Annoying self righteous teenager with visions of grandeur, that gets in the way of actually interesting stuff. If I wanted that, I would just rewatch the anime, to remember why I hated Suzaku the first time.

You didn't need to create "the plot". Not every story needs to be the same structure, not every story even needs an antagonist.
Though by this point I guess the premise of it is way misleading, since Kallen is not even there most of the time. What is this story even about now? You didn't need to make a sudden but inevitable betrayal subplot, you had everything you need to make interesting changes to the last few canon episodes. If you wanted more, you could have just gone political, show us what Lelouch would have done as a proactive benevolent Emperor. Some big changes, maybe controversial at first sight. Everything from Kallen's perspective, maybe how she learns from him, how she counterbalances his more callous decisions.

Anyway, with only a few chapters left, I will finish them out of stubbornness, since I'm too invested by now, but stuff like that really grinds my gears.
DarthPrince chapter 9 . 9/22/2022
While i loved Zero Requiem from the narrative perspective, realistically it's... Not a very bright idea. Former grudges wont just disappear, human nature wont suddenly change to the one without greed, pride or anger. Lelouch at least is a proven leader, that can proactively change things for the better. The full unification of humanity, maybe start the space age...
Hell, I'm sure there would be plenty of his fans irl even if he went full evil tyrant irl. The anime was focused on making a spectacle, not on a realistic portrayal of politics. I'm pretty sure it was a full blown Jesus Christ reference with a twist.
DarthPrince chapter 8 . 9/22/2022
While it's definitely an asspull, bringing Euphimia back neatly neutralizes Suzaku's worst traits and brings a sane person with a strong agenda into their inner circle, and both are heavy blows to Zero Requiem. It would also be very interesting to see her reactions and interactions besides.
Lelouch von Einzbern chapter 26 . 12/3/2021
Nah this story is not for me kinda cringe and really full of plot holes but its ur story so Good Luck
StormySpartan chapter 15 . 9/15/2021
For all that your Euphiemia is well written in the extreme, she also seems quite ooc, for all that her rage at lelouch is deserved, it still doesn't seem like something euphie would do.
Vandeta V Veszaliusz chapter 29 . 8/26/2021
Nextttttttt bosssss ,
iamshinydragonmist chapter 29 . 8/19/2021
just binged this and can't wait for more
Lordban chapter 29 . 8/10/2021
So yes, I'm firming on the analysis you're spending far too much time on secondary protagonists - at this point, the story is constructed entirely around the antagonists and has been for a dozen chapters, meaning they're the protagonists. For the same span, two of the four listed protagonists have been listed as tertiary characters. It's not what someone who read the first dozen chapters is ever going to expect, but here we are: with two thirds of a regular novel's length centered on what should be secondary antagonists who should have been relegated to the background in favor of the characters who were once supposed to be the protagonists.

What compounds the annoyance is the heavy-handedness with which you use reference after reference prlonging the scenes of your secondary antagonists, and how it ended up bleeding through the rare protagonist scenes. This close to the resolution, you should at the very least be well into cleaning house with the secondary antagonists, and we should be reading how one of the main protagonists, reputed for their strategic mind, are working around the coup set up by the antagonists. Except you've forgotten that protagonist isn't Marrybell.

Sorry if this reads harsh, but you did ask, a few chapters back, if something is wrong with your story, and this flipping around the importance of protagonists and antagonists is what is wrong with your writing. Either Marrybell and her entourage are the protagonists, and the first half of this story is mostly filler that misleads the reader into what they can expect and could have been cut down by by 80% to set up the story you now want to write; or they are the antagonists, and the last third of this story you, the writer, getting so distracted from their own protagonists that they got lost in what should have been filler that is, again, 80% disposable.
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