|Reviews for Do Psychic-Type Pokemon Dream of Electric Sheep?|
| Neptune chapter 39 . 10/15
Wow. So Bunnelby might just be gone, then? I knew that such a triumph as previously shown wouldn't last. Such an abrupt potential killing off of Bunnelby too. But if he really is dead then that just goes to show just how much more powerful Nyarlathotep or whomever is behind the scenes is than our protagonists. I am eagerly awaiting the next chapter!
| FALCHI chapter 38 . 9/25
i just whanted to say that i realy like this fanfiction, at first when my friend sujested me it i was comfused by the title like it dosent give any hint about what the writing is just a comfusing question, also i actualy cant wait to see what appens to the zoroark im kinda more interested in him than the main characcters i think this is a personal trait at this point always more interested in the """""bad guys""""" or dark types being hated ecc... soo thanks for making it _
| Namohysip chapter 4 . 9/22
Sup espy! Here's the last of the Blacklight reviews, and this time I'm taking a look at chapter 2 and 3. I'd give more but I'll save that for when I'm caught up and I can give you something more comprehensive! For now, I recall you saying something about wanting to take a look at old work to see what can be improved so you can stop hearing it over and over. I think with that in mind, I'll open by saying that overall I thought this was a really strong start for what is a Super AU. And I say this in that I don't really feel like this is a 'Super' fic in the way you'd normally expect one to be labeled as such.
Essentially, it seems like it diverges off right from the beginning while expanding on other aspects early, or in ways that the canon games have not. For example, it makes sense that offscreen, the past heroes were either occupied or petrified early and hence the reason they couldn't actively help in the plot going on now. I think, aside from the Bittercold (which was generally a 'quicker' crisis) there weren't really any global ones that would be noticed by other continents. I mean, there was the meteor, but that was also the first one chronologically.
In general, I don't really see this as much of a slow start as you made it out to be when I hear your self-evaluations. Not compared to other stories of the same genre, at least. Yes, there isn't a whole lot necessarily happening with Espurr herself, but the stuff happening in other scenes is telegraphing very clearly that something is brewing, making it much less boring than Super's canonical openings.
I don't have a lot to comment on with qualms with dialogue or prose or syntax. Never been my focus. I will comment, however, on something I happened to notice while glancing through one of the chapters for a re-read. Bolding certain letters for a hidden message that I might have missed while listening to the chapters! Now I need to skim past chapters to see if I missed any others... Very meta. Verrry meta. And impressiv,e because I'm a sucker for these Gaster-like tidbits suggesting a greater power is at play.
So long as that's kept up, I think you'd be able to get away with this kind of buildup for maybe four more chapters. After that, I hope there's a new twist to keep things fresh and interesting, or the rising action starts to kick in and Espurr gets directly involved somehow. Until then, though, it's been a good beginning! I'll see you later when I'm more caught up.
| Neptune chapter 38 . 9/15
This chapter was exciting! Normally when reading stories I take breaks and it takes me awhile to read a chapter, but this one had me captivated from start to finish! And to see a victory for Espurr and Tricky was awesome! I'll be honest, it felt like this story was heading in a direction where it just kept getting grittier and the protagonists never won, but that made this chapter feel all the better! Sure you might take out some of all of their progress later, but for now there's just good feelings.
| ShadowVulpi chapter 12 . 9/15
Alright looks like I reached the end of Part 1 and the horror and political aspects of the story really start leaking in!
I must say, with this special episode, I'm looking forward to what's coming next. I can only presume the monster Wartortle encountered was a version of the Void Shadows, especially with the whole lack of eyes thing. I don't know why they look like Xenomorphs in this story, as I only remember them looking like imitations of other Pokemon or formless blobs, so it'll be interesting to see your explanation. You're also seemingly putting on a spin that HAPPI are responsible for them existing. I get the feeling that this is more something that got out of hand though, as I doubt HAPPI would have wanted Void Shadows to kill everyone and take over the world. I feel like it's more HAPPI saw potential with these creatures and wanted to use them to gain influence, but you know, then the plot happens in the game with Dark Matter and all.
So I'm looking forward to you expanding on this! I imagine that'll be what the next arc is about since Espurr and Tricky are going to be leaving the village soon and joining the Expedition Society.
One complaint I do have right now though is your large amount of scene breaks. I get that you're trying to emulate the games with how you're showing off so many things at once, but honestly, it's kind of distracting. I don't know if it's just me, but when you're skipping around so much, it doesn't really give me any time to dwell on the events that have happened since one second I'm in a dungeon with a battle going on, and then the next second, I'm at bar, and then another second later, I'm somewhere else entirely. I feel rather disoriented because of this. You might want to cut back on jumping around so much and just stick to maybe one or two locations.
Anyway, that's all for now! See you in the next part.
| ShadowVulpi chapter 9 . 9/9
Looks like with this chapter, we've reached the end of a little mini arc of sorts. Namely, with revealing more about Tricky's character and resolving the little conflict that was going on between her and Espurr.
I have a bit of a problem with how this was all done though, despite me liking the ideas that you implemented. I like the idea of Tricky constantly living with the guilt that she was responsible for someone's death and that the whole village shuns her because of this. I think it's a fantastic backstory and character concept. The problem is that it isn't exactly foreshadowed, at all. Tricky spends the entire story being very happy go lucky and energetic, showing absolutely no signs that she's burdened with a terrible secret. She even drags more Pokemon into dungeons despite getting someone killed, as if she's not worried that she'll kill someone else by doing this. She showed absolutely no hesitation in doing it. If she actually felt bad about killing Budew (which it looked like she did in this chapter), then she probably wouldn't want to go in dungeons anymore, at least with other Pokemon. Unless she enjoyed the idea of getting other Pokemon killed in dungeons...
The only real hint of Tricky having this backstory is all the kids in the village wanting to avoid her, but that can easily just be read as them not liking her personality since she can be very pushy. If one of my classmates kept pestering me to go on midnight walks with them into the spooky woods outside town, I wouldn't really like that classmate either and not want anything to do with them.
That's my main issue with this plot line. It's a good idea, it just had zero hints and contradicts Tricky's character.
| ShadowVulpi chapter 5 . 8/20
I think here is a good place to leave a review.
So far everything is looking good. I'll admit the plot is going a bit slowly and meandering a lot, but I can accept that this is probably due to wanting to create build up for later events. I mean, we don't even have the main human here in the story yet, that's how much you're building things up. I will say that I'm enjoying how you're writing about different events in PSMD. I was hoping you would do that and you're delivering so far. I would dare say you're foreshadowing a lot of sinister events that happen later in the game a lot better than the actual game did.
I'm pretty curious to know why you made the partner a Fennekin of all Pokemon. There's nothing wrong with that choice of course, I like Fennekin well enough, I just find it to be an interesting choice to pick from. Was there a particular reason you chose that little fire fox Pokemon, or was it just for personal preference? I don't have any gripes about her, as she's basically what the partner Pokemon was like anyway in the game, though I do find it weird that she has an actual name and no one else does. I don't know, I find that really jarring that literally everyone else is called by their species name, yet Tricky here has an actual name and no one is commenting on it. You'd figure everyone would find that weird, but no one's mentioned anything about it.
For actual criticisms right now, I would say my biggest problem with the story is that Espurr herself doesn't really have a character. She's just flat and uninteresting, like all of the human characters in the Mystery Dungeon games. I suppose maybe you were trying to go for that vibe since this Espurr also has no remarkable character traits and is a human, but it doesn't really go well when you put it into an actual story like this. It makes Espurr difficult to relate to and rather boring. Sure, she has Tricky to bounce energy off of, but none of their conversations are really interesting due to Espurr's flatness.
Another minor criticism is the weird hidden messages you're doing in the dream sequences. Now I get that it does sound cool on paper, but it doesn't really work here in a written genre. Whenever I see those underlined words, I'm no longer paying attention to what's happening in the actual story. Instead, my brain is wondering what those letters are spelling out and I can't focus on the story unless I actually sit down and write down the letters on a piece of paper and see what they say. Only after I do that can I actually read the words like I'm supposed to. Like I said, the concept sounds cool and it is creepy to see what these messages spell out, but it's very distracting from the actual narrative. This would probably work better if you just had creepy messages drifting in and out of the prose that Espurr wasn't responding to (because she can't see them), but the reader sure could see them and be unnerved by them. I dunno, that's how I feel about it.
Anyway, that's all I got right now.
| Windskull chapter 8 . 8/13
Hi espy, this is a prize review for blacklight. I’ll be covering chapters 4-7 in this review as well as part of 3 because I forgot I read it already. I’ll try to bring up a few particular points from each one, but I feel like, overall, my review would be better if I did a breakdown of the characters and the plot. Because quite a bit happened over the course of this section. Which, based on the way you’ve structured your fic, makes sense.
I’ll talk about plot first, then get into any thoughts on characters that don’t directly tie to that.
One of the common complaints I see for the source material is that the first half and the second half of the game don’t really tie together and really just feel like two totally separate stories. I think you’ve done a pretty good job at alleviating that. For one thing, you’ve already started establishing the dark matter problem by giving some perspective from the pov of the expedition society. While the two halves of the ongoing plot are still virtually separate right now, establishing the greater scope early makes it feel a lot less out of the blue. And because Amphoros is tied to the goings on of both groups (albiet much more loosely on Espurr and Tricky’s side of things), it helps bridge that gap and make both parts feel relevant.
There's also the matter of the political subplots that you seem to be setting up. Now that is something that (so far) has been pretty disconnected from what's happening in Serenity Village, but it's definitely set up to have a major effect on the plot as a whole. The entire sequence in Baram town appears to serve several purposes, in particular. It fleshes out Archen and Mawile a bit, yes. But it also gives a pretty good idea of how government on the Air Continent is set up (which is to say, very loosely). More importantly, however, it introduces the reader to the amount of political power HAPPI has even off of the Mist Continent while also establishing that the Expedition Society is not nearly as renowned. I have a feeling that the red tape of big establishments like HAPPI and how the main cast works around that is going to be pretty relevant to the plot.
On a related note, I’m not surprised that pokemon square is one of the first places to get turned to stone. It makes sense that DM (and whoever its cohorts might be) would want to take out pokemon that would be perceived as threats. I.E. A renowned hero that also happens to be a human.
Most of the Serenity Village plot stuff I’ll cover as I go over character impressions, but I do want to say that I like the way you handled the drilbur mine. While it conceptually is similar to the game, it has enough of a fresh coat of paint that I don’t feel bored by it. It also introduces some game concepts - like emeras - without feeling too gamey.
I’ll also briefly mention that from earlier chapters, I’d gotten the impression that Nuzleaf was straight-up missing, not just out of town. That’s something you might want to keep in mind since I doubt it was your intention.
Okay, on to characters.
Espurr continues to be a fairly quiet character that I can’t quite put my finger on. Up until shortly before her confrontation with Tricky, she’s been fairly passive, something I think is partially a carryover from the canon character and partially intentional on your part. I did feel like her confrontation could have used a bit more build up. Like. It’s definitely something that was primarily built off of limited interactions with Tricky and advice from the other kids but I feel like it could have used a bit more build up on her side. On the other hand… Lashing out was a rash decision, and one that she pretty quickly regrets. So it might just be me. But to be fair, even though it’s true Tricky kind of dragged her into trouble, when it comes right after that nasty scene between Tricky and Pancham, it makes me feel more sympathetic towards Tricky than her.
Speaking of Pancham… If your intention was to get me to hate him, congrats! You did it! He is a terrible terrible child. And to be frank, I’m kiiiinda surprised that no one has stepped in and done something about him? Like, even if you make the argument “well no one likes Tricky so they’re less likely to believe her,” you’ve got him putting other kids like Goomy in serious danger, too. Then again, people get away with serious, physical bullying in real life, so your mileage may vary on this critique. Regardless, it’s going to take a lot to get him back in my good graces.
On to another major character, Tricky. Tricky is probably the most well-rounded character thus far. She’s hyperactive, headstrong, and a little bit insensitive, but it’s obvious that she’s trying to cover up a lot of emotional pain, too. I won’t go into the whys since, well, while I’ve been partially spoiled on it, the full details haven’t been revealed in-fic yet, so I’ll save my thoughts until then. For obvious reasons though, she’s really latched on to Espurr. She doesn’t really have any friends. And while I think her belief that Deerling is trying to take everyone away from her are mostly exaggerated and primarily based in paranoia that’s a combined result of guilt, bullying, and isolation, it is notable that deerling doesn’t seem the least bit sympathetic towards her in your fic, which leaves her really and truly isolated. And… well, I have a feeling that if Espurr hadn’t shown up things would have continued to escalate beyond what they already have.
Archen and Mawile are characters that I don’t have super strong reads on yet, but I enjoyed them. Mawile feels a bit more well-rounded, but I think that’s in part because she’s the PoV character, but we get a pretty good idea about her interests, skills, and personality from the brief time we spend with her (even if I do think it’s a liiiitle beyond the suspension of disbelief that she sleeps so little. It’s probably a throwaway gag to some extent but it feels just slightly out of place.) Also, the talking with her second mouth. Not something I’d ever thought of mawiles as being able to do, but it was a really neat tidbit.
I don’t have a whole lot to say about the other characters so I’ll mostly lump them here. Besides Deerling (who I get the feeling is’t purposefully trying to isolate Tricky but holds some resentment and is letting that color how she reacts to Tricky and her antics) and possibly Goomy, who I don’t have particularly strong reads on yet, most of the characters feel very flat and one note, for lack of a better term. But to be clear, that’s NOT a bad thing. They seem like they’re flat more because they serve a specific purpose in the story, not because they’re underdeveloped or anything like that. For the most obvious example, you have Watchog. His primary purpose appears to be that he’s a bit of an asshole that’s full of himself and really probably shouldn’t be supervising children. He serves as a bit of an antagonist, while also being someone we can laugh at when he gets hit by karma.
Audino is in a similar vein, but on the more positive side. She’s a nurturing figure that’s there to stick up for the kids and make sure they’re taken care of. We know a few other little things about her, but there’s a lot that we don’t know - nor need to know - due to conservation of detail. And I think that’s a good thing. These characters have just enough that they feel like they serve a purpose without going overboard and overloading the reader with pointless information.
The last thing I want to touch on is worldbuilding. I think you’ve done a good job with establishing little history and other worldbuilding tidbits that range from interesting to probably plot relevant by using the school lessons and tests as a framing device. And I think those things combined with the plot elements of political intrigue really help make this feel like more than just a run of the mill Super adaptation, and I appreciate that.
Hopes for the next few chapters; I’m hoping we see Tricky and Espurr make up, and get to the bottom of just what is up with Tricky, as well as Deerling’s animosity towards her. I hope that we get to see a bit more resolution on that animosity too. I'm looking forward to seeing how badly Espurr's cheating screws her over (because it feels too important to just be a minor thing). I'm also looking forward to figuring out what is up with Espurrs dreams because they feel a little too... special to just be dreams. I hope Shelmet and Pancham get some karmic justice for that stunt (legit I’m still fucking angry about it and I finished reading almost a week ago at the time I’m writing this portion of the review.) I hope to see a bit more of the expedition society, and I hope to see the two parts start to come closer together.
Overall, while I had some minor, subjective gripes so far, I’ve overall been enjoying reading this, and regret not getting back to it sooner. I think you have a really good structure, are pretty cognizant of pacing, and have strong grip on characterization and making everyone feel just as static or dynamic as they need to be. And I appreciate that. While the majority of this review was mostly a ramble about things I thought did and didn’t work, particularly when it came to characters, I hope it was useful, regardless. I’ve enjoyed reading this, and look forward to reading more sometime in the future.
| ShadowVulpi chapter 1 . 8/10
You've been updating this story pretty frequently on the server along with the intriguing art that promises good things about fifteen chapters for now, so I couldn't resist giving this prologue a good read.
I'll admit right away that I'm not much of a re-telling person. I tried giving them chances in the past, but they either took too long to actually diverge from the plot, followed the plot exactly with only minor differences, or focused on the wrong things when it came to retellings. Yours already is a bit more hopeful because it seems to focus on Espurr, which has potential in itself for being a psychic Pokemon capable of reading minds and what not. So already we're having a different lead than the main human we see in the games. Though, I'm getting the impression from this prologue that apparently Espurr is supposed to be a human too? That's a pretty different angle, as she didn't really have that much of a role in the games (besides being weird shipping fuel...), so it's curious that you decided to go with this angle.
I'm wondering how you intend to pull this off, so I guess the only way I can find out is by continuing reading. I don't really have any complaints so far about your writing, as it's literally the prologue, though I do think the author's notes were a bit excessive. I get you wanted to show trigger warnings and what not, but there comes a point where I want to be surprised by sudden deaths and here you are spoiling my fun. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like most of the things you put in your depictions chart didn't need to be there, particularly "near death situations, actual death, violence (it's a Pokemon story... of course there's going to be violence), graphic violence and blood, and over and undertones of horror". Those could have been left out so that the reader could be surprised when they actually showed up, or they just didn't need to be there because it's a given they're there in a Pokemon fanfic.
| MadderJacker chapter 9 . 8/3
Do Psychic-Type Pokémon Dream of Electric Sheep. As I’m sitting down to write this, the title just came to me again, and now I’m wondering if it’s more than just a strange play on a classic. Is Espurr dreaming about Ampharos in that dark void? More than likely not, but I’ll be on the lookout for that mouthful of a title coming into play later.
Anyways, hi. I finally remembered how to read and you’re my first victim. Don’t bother running; it’s already too late.
One thing I do want to commend you on thus far is the pacing and the way this story is told. You cut through the bullshit of Super clean by throwing in the perspective of Mawile, which really had me hooked. She allows the A-plot (feels weird to refer to characters dealing with the world slowly ending as the B-plot, but let’s just push past that) to continue being relatively light and all slice-of-lifey without making me bash my head against the wall. There’s an almost meticulous way that the story is coming together from all these different perspectives that reminded me of some of Tom Clancy’s work. Can’t wait to see how this plays out and what you do differently.
Though they’ve yet to be super important, I think Mawile and Ampharos are my favorite so far. Ampharos in that you play up his intelligence behind his facade, making him feel very tactile and his scenes akin to espionage so far (another Clancy thing), and Mawile in all the little careful things she says and doesn’t say. They’ve barely interacted in the story so far and I can already tell that they’d make a very effective duo. Perhaps a deadly one, depending on just how political this will get.
I like Audino too, though my reasons for that aren’t as complicated. She’s just nice and chill, and obviously cares about others if she was willing to save Espurr and give her a place to stay. Can’t wait for her to probably die.
But for as much as I like those two, they probably aren’t going to be the meat of this story. That would fall to Espurr and Tricky. And speaking of those two, I should probably cover the main course of the story so far.
Another thing I’ll have to give you credit for is, on top of switching perspectives to convey a feeling of an active world with many moving parts, you further cut down on the bullshit in Super’s early game. Go right into saving Goomy, into character introductions, into Drilbur mines (even though I think it’s a bit questionable that apparently nobody is gonna say Pancham put Goomy up to it, and these three went out to save him? Why can Pancham get away with basically attempted murder twice?), cutting out all the filler from this filler. All the stuff that you do add in is all worldbuilding things that’re neat to keep up with. I like all the berry things, and the way dungeons work here. Neat and spooky respectively.
I don’t have much to say about the village plot so far. It’s low-stakes character building. I like how small the characters start at while showing us immediately what they have to grow up to combat? Otherwise though, it’s serviceable. Enjoyable. Which, hey, I think is pretty similar to how I feel about Espurr. She’s fine and all, and I like that she feels frail, but she doesn’t have much motive or flaws to drive her thus far. Or at least none that were all that apparent. We’ll see how that goes.
Tricky though… Tricky is gonna be a little bit
I enjoy her personality a lot. The way she talks and the antics she gets up to were fun, and I thought she made for a good foil for Espurr, who seemed very emotionally muted. And other characters were annoyed at her for her antics, the kids treating her like kids would (horribly), so I didn’t feel guilty for enjoying it ‘cause I knew something would happen to her. Probably.
But I was… technically wrong.
When Espurr and Tricky had their fight, I could understand where Tricky was coming from. Lashing out at Espurr, who had no hand in what happened and didn’t know about her suffering, wasn’t quite fair, but she wasn’t in the mindset for that. Sometimes you unfairly target your emotions at people. And Espurr clapped back! For as poorly timed as it was, Espurr kinda spoke the truth. Tricky pressured Espurr into following her, got them both into trouble, and just generally didn’t seem to care about the consequences for their actions if it wasn’t within the next impending minute.
But then after Tricky ran away, Espurr felt guilty… for telling the truth, and she wanted to apologize. When Tricky had basically put the way everyone treats her all on Espurr. And when Audino encouraged her to go make up, I knew that was probably the route you were gonna take.
And then, Tricky had her backstory dump in how one of her adventures brought the death of Budew, and she started crying herself a murderer. And I just… couldn’t see those two being the same character? Because Tricky loves exploring. Tricky wants to go into a Mystery Dungeon all the time and wants to bring people with her. She’ll even bring Espurr, who is noticeably hesitant (and injured for the first few chapters) about dungeons in a way similar to Budew, but she doesn’t really pause to reflect? She doesn’t get all that shaky when people bring it up, and just… for as much as this is supposed to have fucked her up, it’s almost like she completely repressed it when she took a new name. But I don’t think that’s the case?
And from there, that’s where a few things regarding her tension with the others in the village starts to fall apart a little. The students hate her for letting someone die, but nobody remarks that she’s bound to do it again, and that Budew died for nothing. I think *that* would be what people give her shit for, or something the adults would scold her for. The students seem to know.
For as enjoyable as I find her vocal gags and antics, I don’t know how invested I can get in her if that wasn’t enough to get her to change. Maybe I’ll learn to look past it? We’ll see.
*Okay,* big rant over. Uh… I have a few miscellaneous thoughts I couldn’t fit in before that I’ll just jam in at the end here. I think some scenes might end a breath too short, and some could probably do to be cut (the only one to come to mind is the Carracosta and Nuzleaf bit between Espurr and Tricky returning from getting fucked up). I like the exotic scene transitions even if my reader just picks them up as “O”, and songs of the week are neat, even if I can’t listen to them now.
No story is perfect, and I’m not even halfway to getting caught up to this one. I’m still enjoying what I read so far, and just what this Primarina and Braixen will mean for the story, since I believe they’re both new entities at play here. I’ll be back at it tomorrow to read through more. See ya around!
| Team Ion chapter 12 . 7/26
The Extermination of the End's Beginning~
Hmm? What's this?
A legendary hero. Ah, so this really is before. Hah. Wartortle is a boomer. But one with considerable power and influence ;P
I wonder who Bryony is?
Ah HAPPI. The name just sounds so pleasant.
Almost beat his record. He's had how many centuries to build up terrifying levels of paperwork?
Shipments have arrived.
I'm nervous, because I know this ends very badly.
Hm. Well that's a bad sign.
Of course Wartortle can already see something is very wrong.
I wonder if he distrusts using technology because it's, probably, created by HAPPI and they can monitor or something? Even without brief glimpses of insider knowledge, just the name HAPPI does not ring any happy bells.
Hm. Not picking up...ugh.
Wartortle, they view him as stuck in the past and maybe they're right. But, I'm confident there is more to it.
Who delivered such a spooky book? Is it a taunt, to reveal the truth when it's too late to stop it, or was someone trying to warn them genuinely?
...What happened to her?
It's nice that Wartortle doesn't judge it to be a threat just based on its horrific appearance. But...it's a threat.
Their whole place got stoned, rather than just them? Oof.
And authors note!
Ah, I know what it's like to revise.
Ahh, so that's maybe why there was a shift of sorts that I noticed around that time.
It was meant to be slice of life first? Wow. Demons really do find their way in, no matter what.
I feel that so much though. The overall structure of the story changing wildly as you write the story until your plan is nothing like it used to be.
It's been a good ride. A little bumpy.
Okay, since this is the end of the first arc, I should do a more formal review at the end here.
Characters, plot, and some predictions I think will be the general kind of vibe.
I'll start with characters, because I like characters.
Espurr: Our intrepid protagonist. Out of Super's characters, I always liked Espurr the most in Serene Village. The fact that this child was able to play around Nuzleaf and be part of the final team up to Yveltal despite NOT being a protagonist character was amazing. And, you've made her even better. Now, she is the protagonist, but she still has that spark. You know so little about Espurr from the games, so you had lots of area to build upon and I've really enjoyed it. The thing I love most is that she feels young. The protagonist of Super feels like an older teen being placed into a kids class, but while Espurr isn't a toddler, neither is anyone else. She still makes mistakes, emotional and bond related ones. She's still affected by her emotions, she's still a person. And I really like her cunning. She's got the ear-raise bomb for dire moments, but otherwise she fights through smarts. Distraction techniques, rough plans. She's able to think of them on the fly, but they aren't just uber-perfect and she has to improvise anyway. It's a great character to follow and you really root for her.
Tricky: Ah Tricky. Poor Artemis. You weren't expecting this kind of tragic backstory from the plucky partner. Killed their best friend. That's how she feels. Led to their death, more exactly, but the guilt is the same either way. She...she's such a kid, and it's so sad. You can tell Budew's death really has messed her up, but she's still young enough to still *want* to have friends again and try to have it. You have to wonder if her often-manic behaviour is caused out of a stubborn refusal to deal with the trauma, distracting with anything possible. I won't psychoanalyse her, but I think she's a fascinating character. A little spitfire.
The Class: Deerling is the most interestingly changed. The rest are faithful versions of the game, and Deerling is too but she has an additional edge to her. She's forceful in personality and not afraid of threatening others. She's almost a bully like Pancham is, but doesn't act that way out of malice, but anger and protectiveness. Still, she is a bully even if she doesn't really acknowledge that.
Pancham though. Tossing stones at Tricky was just vile.
I love Ampharos.
Is something going on between Nuzleaf and Carracosta? Like...seriously?
The taste of the Expedition Society...I mentioned before that Mawile reminds me of Espurr a little, in that calm, clever, composed way. Only, she's got so much more experience and a second mouth to emphasize her point ;D
The Plot: I suppose you've said a bit on it yourself, so there's not much I can say you probably haven't thought or heard yourself. You've done a good job of making the early Serene Village aspect of Super fun and engaging. The dungeons are all threatening, the cast is cute, I really do like the grumpy asshole Watchog characters :P, and you've even mixed in a bit of Espurr figuring out who she is and actually BUILDING that bond with Tricky. Overall, a lot more interesting than Serene Village in the game (and to its credit, I enjoyed that part of the game). I do look forward to seeing where the dominos being set up are about to fall! The Void Shadows seem...more dangerous here. More widespread. I wonder why...?
The Ancient Barrow is bound to be interesting I bet. Espurr seemed to detect genuine malice from it. Could be just a fear thing, or maybe something is different...
And that moment in the games is what bonded the schoolchildren, but there is a great deal more baggage there. I do wonder how they'll react to Tricky saving Espurr and Goomy though.
Won't make up for Budew, but...something maybe. Maybe...I'm an optimist, unlike Espurr.
I reckon it is time for some theories.
First things first. I know HAPPI is evil, but I don't know how this will affect the story. I couldn't help but consider in my head. The attack on Wartorte. He's too...stubborn and powerful to change his mind, he signs things by paper, sends things by mail. Distrusts technology. I don't see him as being someone so 'technology drives us apart' that he holds everything back. It could be, he's been around for centuries, but...I reckon there is more to it. I bet HAPPI is able to monitor what goes through these channels, clearly something by Mawile holding her tools away from Primarina, and Wartortle wants none of that.
So, to that end, I wonder if HAPPI is working/using/being used by the Dark Matter alliance to get rid of Wartortle? He is human, so...hm.
That's my primary theory that I feel has some weight. The beheeyem haven't shown up. Nuzleaf and Carracosta are secret lovers. Tricky and Espurr are going to reach Lively Town before Ampharos because he kept getting distracted by falling down ravines. Not everyone in town are going to be left behind by the narration when they do leave Serene Village. Hmm.
I think that's about it?
I like this story.
| Team Ion chapter 11 . 7/26
Interludes in the day~
Dedenne! The Expedition Society!
Hehehehe. Dedenne knows her way of communication is superior. And she's haggard trying to keep things in order.
Engineer: Needs caffeine to not murder you.
Chef: Consumed all the food.
Kehehehe. At least Mawile and Archen will be there to help.
So, there's a few more members to this thing than in canon. I like it!
Just a fox pokemon thing...braixen is a zoroark, isn't he?
He wanders all over, doesn't he? Swanna Inn, doesn't look the same anymore.
He's on his way. He'll get there with time to spare I bet.
A nice little interlude into the goings-on in the place we will eventually be.
| Team Ion chapter 10 . 7/26
Tests and dungeons they have passed before~
You know, I do like how you make each dungeon feel really threatening. Haven't mentioned that before, but as things have come, it's come down to wits and guile to get out rather than just blasting their way through.
It's pretty unique and I really like it.
Hah. She laughed. Knew it. And then she believes.
So awesome. Other heroes were human after all ;P
Team Go-Getters! Woo! Wartortle *writes*...oh wait, he'd be alive for like a thousand years or something? That makes sense.
Hmm. If Go-Getters...
AHA! Team Ion! Funny how history got a little mistaken on who was human ;P
Human enough I think.
I can imagine which image was an artists rendition...
That chilly snowflake.
Tricky: "You get to be hero :D"
Espurr: "Hero means the world in danger."
Anxiety time in a capture the flag race.
Is Tricky going to tell her what Pancham did?
Pffft. The Merry Mon? Dammit, coughing again.
Watchog gets no respect.
Deerling is strong.
Pft. He swore something filthy, didn't he?
Espurr, trapped alone for sure panicking at the thought of the beheeyem...
Uh oh. Triiccky...
A good plan. Calm.
Hm...a statue of a riolu. How...unusual.
Simipour is an interesting person, I think. He's...smart.
Yes. Very smart.
Go Goomy! Be brave, cunning, and resourceful!
He found them! Go Goomy!
They escaped! Hooray!
Heheeheheh. Ah, Watchog. He wasn't going to let it slide in any world.
Keh. Blue orb of choice. He's a sneaky one, but Espurr is sharp too.
Heheheheheeheh. His attempts of being cool tend to 'blow' back in his face.
Naww, that's sweet.
I like Mawile. She's similar to Espurr in her cunning, just...well a lot better at it. Experience, and memory, and such.
Got out of that one. Thankfully.
To reiterate what I said at the start. All your dungeons have a way of feeling very threatening. I like it. It makes *sense* that you need specialised gear and training to reliably tackle one.
| Team Ion chapter 9 . 7/26
A maelstrom of emotion~
Well that's an alarming warning.
I think I know what's going on.
She got someone killed, didn't she?
At least she's doing something of the heart rather than purely of the head.
Berry picking with Carracosta...and who's living with Nuzleaf that he'd leave the note?
Hehehehe. Foul beast.
Mmm. Manic. That's...that's not good. That's dangerous. Not to Espurr necessarily, but...I've learned things about manic states.
I reckon she's hypomanic if anything. Still unpleasant, not as severe as full-on manic.
Artemis! That's quite a name. Duringham...hm. It's after Carracosta.
So, she did.
Oof. Poliwrath River.
Ah. Well that's horrifying. Poor thing. Oh my gosh.
Espurr the planner returns!
Ah, Beedrill #3 is the craziest of the three, I see.
Nice! Espur! NIIIICE!
Naww. That's sweet.
DunununununDUUN! I wonder how Tricky is going to respond to that.
Hehehe. Poor anxiety bird.
Knew something indeed...hmm, who are these pokémon?
| Team Ion chapter 8 . 7/26
Days of exams, nightmares abound~
LET ME IN YOUR HEAD.
I would appreciate it if Audino woke her up.
Ooh. Something's unlocked in there. She can read!
Kehehehe. Nuzleaf being a butt is funny.
Heheh. Ah, Carracosta. Well, maybe Tricky will be happy to hear that Espurr was at least looking for her?
That was a...friendly greeting.
By tha trees, through the air? You're jumping to the end of the story there, Nuzleaf.
A stove. How fancy.
Heheeheheheheh. Tricky is adorable. I wonder what her name used to be? I caught something like that on the previous chapter.
I'm amazed Espurr was able to follow that. Psychic-types.
Hm. Carracosta doesn't trust Psychic-types? He trusts a Dark-type though it seems...how does he know Nuzleaf so familiar to hug him?
Heh. I like Tricky.
I also like Watchog. He's a bit of a Chatot, but I'm sure he's got a heart under all the grump.
Pfffthahhaaha. Oh that made me cough. Dammit Watchog.
Aww, you make me blush, Espy _
Puts a big smile on my face, haha. You honour me :)
She's a cheater. She proves everything wrong about Psychic-types! For shame, Espurr. For shame that a taunt twisted your morals so terribly.
I wonder if, or when, she'll admit to her deceit?
Hmm. These two.
I don't like this, especially with the warning at the start of the chapter.
That's just fucked.
Ah...poor girls. It's cruel to say that, but Espurr's points aren't exactly untrue.
What did Tricky do to make Deerling like this?
Gotten over it...