Reviews for Do Psychic-Type Pokemon Dream of Electric Sheep?
Team Ion chapter 10 . 7/26
Tests and dungeons they have passed before~

You know, I do like how you make each dungeon feel really threatening. Haven't mentioned that before, but as things have come, it's come down to wits and guile to get out rather than just blasting their way through.

It's pretty unique and I really like it.

Hah. She laughed. Knew it. And then she believes.

So awesome. Other heroes were human after all ;P

Team Go-Getters! Woo! Wartortle *writes*...oh wait, he'd be alive for like a thousand years or something? That makes sense.

Hmm. If Go-Getters...

AHA! Team Ion! Funny how history got a little mistaken on who was human ;P
Human enough I think.

I can imagine which image was an artists rendition...

That chilly snowflake.

Tricky: "You get to be hero :D"
Espurr: "Hero means the world in danger."
Tricky: :D
Tricky: :/
Tricky: "..."
Tricky: :D

Anxiety time in a capture the flag race.

Is Tricky going to tell her what Pancham did?

Pffft. The Merry Mon? Dammit, coughing again.

Watchog gets no respect.

Poor Goomy.

Deerling is strong.

Pft. He swore something filthy, didn't he?

Espurr, trapped alone for sure panicking at the thought of the beheeyem...

Uh oh. Triiccky...

A good plan. Calm.

Gross, ants.

Uh oh.

Ah Goomy.

Hm...a statue of a riolu. How...unusual.

Simipour is an interesting person, I think. He's...smart.

Tricky's...title?

Yes. Very smart.

Go Goomy! Be brave, cunning, and resourceful!

He found them! Go Goomy!

They escaped! Hooray!

Heheeheheh. Ah, Watchog. He wasn't going to let it slide in any world.

Keh. Blue orb of choice. He's a sneaky one, but Espurr is sharp too.

Heheheheheeheh. His attempts of being cool tend to 'blow' back in his face.

Naww, that's sweet.

I like Mawile. She's similar to Espurr in her cunning, just...well a lot better at it. Experience, and memory, and such.

Got out of that one. Thankfully.

To reiterate what I said at the start. All your dungeons have a way of feeling very threatening. I like it. It makes *sense* that you need specialised gear and training to reliably tackle one.
Team Ion chapter 9 . 7/26
A maelstrom of emotion~

Well that's an alarming warning.

I think I know what's going on.
She got someone killed, didn't she?

At least she's doing something of the heart rather than purely of the head.

Berry picking with Carracosta...and who's living with Nuzleaf that he'd leave the note?

Hehehehe. Foul beast.

Mmm. Manic. That's...that's not good. That's dangerous. Not to Espurr necessarily, but...I've learned things about manic states.

I reckon she's hypomanic if anything. Still unpleasant, not as severe as full-on manic.

Artemis! That's quite a name. Duringham...hm. It's after Carracosta.

So, she did.

Oof. Poliwrath River.

Ah. Well that's horrifying. Poor thing. Oh my gosh.

Espurr the planner returns!

Ah, Beedrill #3 is the craziest of the three, I see.

Nice! Espur! NIIIICE!

Human...slithering...nnnnn.

Naww. That's sweet.

Sure...just neighbours.

DunununununDUUN! I wonder how Tricky is going to respond to that.

Hehehe. Poor anxiety bird.

Knew something indeed...hmm, who are these pokémon?
Team Ion chapter 8 . 7/26
Days of exams, nightmares abound~

LET ME IN YOUR HEAD.

Oh dear.

I would appreciate it if Audino woke her up.

Ooh. Something's unlocked in there. She can read!

Kehehehe. Nuzleaf being a butt is funny.

Heheh. Ah, Carracosta. Well, maybe Tricky will be happy to hear that Espurr was at least looking for her?

That was a...friendly greeting.

By tha trees, through the air? You're jumping to the end of the story there, Nuzleaf.

A stove. How fancy.

Heheeheheheheh. Tricky is adorable. I wonder what her name used to be? I caught something like that on the previous chapter.

I'm amazed Espurr was able to follow that. Psychic-types.

Hm. Carracosta doesn't trust Psychic-types? He trusts a Dark-type though it seems...how does he know Nuzleaf so familiar to hug him?

Heh. I like Tricky.

I also like Watchog. He's a bit of a Chatot, but I'm sure he's got a heart under all the grump.

Pfffthahhaaha. Oh that made me cough. Dammit Watchog.

Aww, you make me blush, Espy _
Puts a big smile on my face, haha. You honour me :)

She's a cheater. She proves everything wrong about Psychic-types! For shame, Espurr. For shame that a taunt twisted your morals so terribly.

I wonder if, or when, she'll admit to her deceit?

Hmm. These two.

I don't like this, especially with the warning at the start of the chapter.

Deerling is...hmm.

That's just fucked.

Ah...poor girls. It's cruel to say that, but Espurr's points aren't exactly untrue.

What did Tricky do to make Deerling like this?

Gotten over it...

Hmm.
rsoliloquy chapter 6 . 7/25
Heya Espy, so this is the part I read up through.

I didn't know this was a retelling going into it. Generally not a fan of retellings, personally, but I think if any game deserves a retelling, it's Super. An interesting story that wasn't told very well the first time around, and I think it's a perfect opportunity to expand on a lot of the stuff that was implied to be going on in the background of the game but which wasn't visible through the lens of the protagonists.

Overall, it's a pretty good retelling up to this point. I like the escalation of the threat, showing entire towns being wiped out early on makes the threat feel far less passive than it originally did. I also appreciate the expansion-of-character for the expedition society members. I do think, at least up until this point, that Espurr is a little hazily defined however. A big part of that is that Espurr doesn't have very clear character motivations. They've kind of just been along for the ride. That's true in the source material, but it can easily be adapted to strengthen their own character motivation.

I like a lot of the reinterpretation of events. The idea of making Gabite an ominous monster that stalks them through the dungeon is a fun one. I just hope you don't get too attached to retelling certain events 1:1 though, as I'm worried about inheriting flaws of the original story accidently. But so far I think you've done a solid job of evading them with your choices of events to change.

As for writing, there's a lot of parenthesised asides that often could be integrated more naturally into the prose, or just really aren't needed. One big example that really stood out to me was the passage:

"Archen held back for the umpteenth time that day as Mawile's back maw chomped down on an invasive branch, ripped it off the tree, and chucked it to the side. (This happened often. Archen had already lost count.)"

The fact that this has happened often, and that Archen does not have an accurate count, is already implied in the phrase "for the umpteenth time that day". The aside breaks up the prose without adding a single new detail.

So yeah, pretty good! It's hard for me to get too excited, just due to personal preferences, but I think it's an interesting reimagining of the original story thus far. May or may not read more depending on whether the whim hits me, but I think this is a good start, especially given that you've had 25 chapters to evolve since this point. :P
Slonxiety chapter 29 . 6/28
When Sparkleglimmer go get the Empoleon, I can't help but start listening to "Song for Denise" :P
SnowLabrador chapter 2 . 5/31
Straw beds don't sound the most sanitary for an infirmary, but what do I know? This is the Pokemon world, after all. I enjoyed the first dungeon; that mysterious forest was definitely a good start. I pictured Faron Woods from Zelda: Twilight Princess. And, while I've never broken a bone, you certainly described severe pain well. Good work.
SnowLabrador chapter 1 . 5/31
All right, this is a good prologue. I love the way you describe the setting, and I like the monologue in the beginning. The fog reminded me of the toxic mist from the 75th Hunger Games, and for a moment I wondered if that's what it was. You're a good writer, and I will read on.
Neptune chapter 28 . 5/24
Well! This was horrifying!
Shamekeeper12 chapter 2 . 4/1
Prologue

Are the transition markers, the ones that are like ~\({O})/~, supposed to represent badges? I can kinda see the resemblance to the wings and central gem. If so, that's really cool!

I thought this story had a unique depiction of "wake up; inspect the body" opening—especially with how Espurr already has instinctive knowledge about the pokemon world.

One thing I would say about the prologue is that the transition to the Beheeyem's attack almost flew under my radar. Specifically this sentence:

[Black sparks began to collect around the strange pokemons' blinkers, and suddenly a large, shadowy ball materialized out of nowhere and flew straight at Espurr.]

This is the moment where things change from a "where am I" kind of scene to a "OH FRICK" kind of scene, but the prose doesn't mirror that change. At first, I didn't realize she had been attacked until I was halfway through the next paragraph. Maybe that's just my fault (I'm a skimmer, sorry!), but one thing I like to employ in my own writing is structuring paragraphs around significant events.

Placing the important bits at the beginnings and ends of paragraphs (such as the inciting incident where the beheeyem launch their attack) rather than placing them in the middles where they can get buried helps place emphasis on those events so the reader is less likely to miss them. I would recommend starting a new paragraph after that sentence.

Dream scene: The underlined code was quite clever. For all Espurr's careful planning, it seems she is not as safe as she feels. I get this sense of overwhelming oblivion reading it. For a single paragraph, it's quite striking. The mention of the "In Between" reminded me of another antagonistic entity I've seen from The Expane TV show, where one character describes it as an evil "in the space between things"—not necessarily relevant to your story, but I thought it was worth mentioning haha

"Swish" motif: As someone who employs a ton of repetition in my own work, I love the "swish" motif in this prologue. I think it does a great job of conditioning the reader to assign emotions of dread and danger to an otherwise benign word.

I was pleasantly surprised that the "cliff-hanger" at the end of Espurr's perspective wasn't actually a cliffhanger, and Audino's perespective led well into continuing the original progression. I was mildy tempted to skip that part to see what happened haha. Glad I didn't.

Chapter 1

[Do I ask too many questions? Some pokemon say I do, but Mr. Farfetch'd says that the worst questions are unasked ones]

As a teacher myself, I can confirm this is true. The only dumb question is the question you didn't ask before the exam!

On Espurr's decision to go find Goomy, I found it odd that Deerling did not also go with them, seeing that she was clearly willing to help and also able-bodied compared to Espurr and Tricky. Did I miss something on my first read-through?

Characters

Espurr is depicted as oddly rational and level-headed—even when under pressure:
She prioritizes water over investigating her (presumably) new form.
She thinks to use tools rather than brute-forcing the drinking problem.
She thinks critically about the merits of using the oak tree as shelter.
She weighs the options when she's cornered in said tree..
She is also quite careful interacting with Tricky—carefully considering the implications of divulging information.

That said, she's not *unrealistically* rational, and makes mistakes (for example, she regrets not following the river).

Another thing is that making assessments about the situation can also lead to making similar assessments about people (as she does with Tricky running her mouth). It would be interesting to see if being judgmental of others turns out to be one of Espurr's character flaws. I might be reading this idea into the text, but I can kinda see it already in how Espurr presumes that Deerling is used to being right, and how Pancham thinks chewing a twig makes him look cool. Of course, she's probably not wrong considering how the game played out, but she could be. Regardless, I'm quite interested to see what sort of character arc you have in store for our protagonist.

Speaking of character flaws—I can't seem to identify any right off-the-bat. That's not to say that every character ought to have flaws. What I would say is that despite this, Espurr doesn't seem to come off as a Mary Sue—at least in the Prologue or Chapter 1—which is definitely a plus.

On Tricky's character, I thought it was portrayed in a very entertaining way. Her exploits were a welcome reprieve from the more intense mood of the prologue. As someone who struggles to write more light-hearted characters, I found Chapter 1 to be a refreshing and informative read.

I also appreciated how you distribute characterization in general throughout the prose and dialogue rather than concentrating it in one or the other like I've seen some do. I've noticed that a lot of the characterization you employ is direct rather than indirect, yet it doesn't feel on-the-nose or unpolished. Maybe it's the story being told from Espurr's perspective, but direct characterization seems to work unusually well so far, and it's clear that it was handled skillfully.

Closing remarks

If I had all the time in the world, I'd probably read the next two chapters, and also take a peek at Psychic Sheep's latest chapter (I don't care much for spoilers haha) to get an idea of how your writing style has changed since you first began the story. I realize reviews of early chapters aren't necessarily as helpful as reviews of latest chapters.

While I'm not quite able to do that, I can say that this is definitely one of the fics I've read. That telltale pull to read "just one more" chapter is there for me—which is not something I experience often when reading!

I hope you found this to be a helpful review. I look forward to picking up this story again in the future!
Rathora chapter 1 . 3/10
Nice title lol
CrescentApple chapter 11 . 12/2/2020
Mrah, I still see Espurr and Tricky in an odd relationship, but... Deerling meddling didn't help. Espurr knows the truth about Bidoof, and if she still wants to spend time when Tricky, that's on her. Better than Pancham... sort of...

Audino's short adventure recalling the Beheemyn was fantastic I scruffy thought she would have led them to Espurr.

Its hard to believe everything up to this point only happened in the span of a week. It felt like at least weeks had gone by haha
CrescentApple chapter 10 . 11/26/2020
Huh. I don't understand why Espurr doesn't tell anyone that she is human now. If what Tricky says is true, it seems they aren't tested maliciously or as cursed omens, but as warnings to prepare for coming.

Keeping it a secret makes sense to Tricky, because she acts like a kid. But I got the vibe Espurr acts a lot older and intelligent enough that it'd be smarter to just tell the others what she is.

The only other reason I can imagine she doesn't is because she isn't sure what will happen, and doesn't want to risk it without knowing all the details.

Not a huge fan Tricky went back to look for Goomy and Espurr and hiding from Audino and Watchdog. Espurr was right, Tricky didn't want to get on trouble . Even if they were found out, they world have brought them along as extra eyes since they were already there, and found Espurr.

But the rest of the strike is still great! Getting exciting. I'm curious why Mawille doesn't want Primarina knowing about the copied photos, but dead clever how she covered it up!
CrescentApple chapter 8 . 11/23/2020
This was a good chapter. The only part that bugs me is Tricky lost a friend to a dungeon, but she is doing the exact same thing with Espurr, and who know how many other pokemon before Deerling put a stop to it.

This feels like she didn't learn from her past mistakes, and knows she puts others lives at risks because it already happened...

Nicely written chapter. Espurr is getting so much better at using her psychic powers. I didnt see the point in erasing that Beedrils memory of them since two others saw them as well. I thought she was going to put it to sleep or... something haha

And she told Tricky she is human! And Archer and Mawille find something odd with the Exeggutor ship and I don't know why. It makes me curious and want to know myself!
CrescentApple chapter 5 . 11/15/2020
A few things that confused me.

Gabite started towards the duo. Until Espurr levitate the rock to hit his leg, and he fell forward in the gem pile? But wouldn't he face away from the gem pile in order for Espurr to see his leg?

And Ampharos narrated that he heard nothing but night noises for 4 hours in the recording device.

But in the very beginning he can clearly hear Espurr and Tricky speaking when he rewinds it again, after putting the device to almost mute settings.

Besides that. This chapter was really really good! I loved the tension when they're stalked by Gabite. And you give each separate character their own personality that it feels real!

Still thought it was odd for Espurr(but not Tricky) to just accept a challenge by Pancham to go to a cave when the exact and thing happened to Goomy, but it was a fun chapter!
CrescentApple chapter 4 . 11/12/2020
Peer pressure can make characters do... weird things...

I can't see why Espurr would do what Pancham wanted. She seemed more intelligent and less willing to put herself in danger.

For once I'm on Watchdog-im sorry- VICE principal Watchdog on this. And Tricky... bullies these poor pokemon and steals from them?

Dang she is a little delinquent.

Its a cool bit of exposition to learn this takes place after humans died out. And that their language is of Unknown. The whole dream sequence i can't figure out. Espurr is a psychic so... maybe its... a premonition I... think...

And the orb. Ampharos heard no words, but I think he was hearing something important, but he didn't realize it. I dont know. Just theorizing. But this mystery feels exciting!
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