|Reviews for Begin Again - Chronicles of an Ex-Human In Inkopolis|
| Guest chapter 15 . 6/13
I'm just remembering from when I've read this fic from Ao3. Having only jumping around this fic, I'm not noticing any differences but that's probably just me skimming around.
One thing that particularly bothered when I read it before it got posted on ffn was the conflict between Off the Hook and Lily.
Octo Expansion's subplot included Pearl and Cuttlefish finding out Marina was an Octarian, and with Pearl sticking by her despite knowing this and Cuttlefish learning (if gradually) to not be speciesist, especially towards the species of the enemies he fought in the Great Turf War.
Trying to make OtH become discriminatory towards Lily like Cuttlefish had towards Marina and Agent 8 really doesn't sit right with me.
As for the reasoning behind it, I find it shakey. From the gist of it, the reasoning seemed to be that because weird things happened and then Tartar and his big human statue showed up with his shpeal, that justifies hunting Lily down because she is/was a human? And being a human means siding with Tartar? What?
Maybe the whole thing this fic has with OtH vs Lily would be better if during that conflict the OtH and the others had a moment of self-awareness or Cuttlefish called OtH on their hypocrisy.
Personally, I would rewrite the conflict so that the reason OtH went after Lily isn't based on some association fallacy.
| EverythingCovered chapter 1 . 10/13/2019
| suvblenin chapter 1 . 10/6/2019
This is great work so far. I really like the descriptions you used, they really set the mood you were trying to convey.
I was actually wondering if you wanted to join a discord that a friend of mine owns. It's for writers to share their work, get feedback, and offer tips and stuff. You can actually promote work too, if you're good enough. I think they'd be happy to have you. Here's the invite, if you want to check it out.
| CP020 chapter 1 . 10/4/2019