|Reviews for Models|
| lou hang Xiao yu chapter 4 . 3/29/2007
I need to comment on this. I like your story. Chapters are a bit choppy, but manageable. I would like to see your ideas developed more, they're very good but could use some expansion. I need to stop at chapter four however, as much as I would love to continue. The reason for this is that I cannot stand it when someone writes a story and uses "chat lingo" in place of actual words. It makes the story seem like it was spit out onto the page instead of written.
I sincerely doubt that Hermione, being the very intelligent girl she is, would EVER say "Look I'll go sit with people that I can talk to okay? When you 2 get some senses back, tell me". To get picky about things, "people" are not a "that". . ."people" are a "who"... and the use of a numeral in place of a word may be acceptable in chatting or instant messaging, but a story is really not the place. Finally, even when that sentence is corrected to use the word two instead of "2", the finishing with "get some senses back" is horrific.
As informal as speech may be, I cannot get over the lack of sense in that sentence. Harry and Ron need to get their senses back? Did someone steal their senses? Which ones, sight, hearing? They need to get some senses back. . . just some senses? What about the other ones? I understand that you mean that Harry and Ron need to get some sense back into their thick heads, but the wording -especially coming from Hermione- makes me *cringe*
If you've read this far, I hope you understand that I'm not trying to be mean. . . but the writing style of the piece is lacking. Best of luck with writing future stories!
| An Unpoetic Recluse chapter 37 . 12/20/2006
Okay It's official u have tured Hermione into an idiot.
| LemonTart chapter 16 . 5/24/2005
Great Job i'm totally gonna recommend this one!
wow totally awsum story
hey n e body out there wanna chat IM me e-mail josh_sk8erdude
- Josh Daniels
| iluvdraco chapter 39 . 11/16/2004
omg! i love this story. this is diffently the best h/d fanfic ever. please hurry up with the sequel! i cant wait. congrates on such a good story. you rox! please keep writing, please! lots of love! xox
| hedwigmail chapter 4 . 9/17/2004
| hedwigmail chapter 1 . 9/17/2004
Everyone likes Hermione, I smell a plot.
| Obsessionist chapter 1 . 8/16/2004
Its great! Even though its finished Im still gonna read this and the sequel
| sugar n spice 522 chapter 39 . 7/12/2004
i really loved your story and i look forward to reading the sequel - ive read summer camp and i loved that too..well im gonna go start reading last chance now
| reana chapter 39 . 6/24/2004
I have read the last chance and want you to make Hermione and Malfoy have time together without anyone bothering them. Like going out to Hogsmade and just enjoying each ohter's company without fighting and just make out. Its going well though. Update soon PLEAZE!
| storyteller3 chapter 7 . 1/20/2004
hey nice story really cool just starting this chap so far so cool
| Jamie chapter 21 . 10/29/2003
Really good so far, I'll read more later
| Akasha Ravensong chapter 39 . 10/28/2003
i love this story!
| ShadowRogue chapter 37 . 10/9/2003
HI! i read ur other fic too so i thought i'd read this one, too! Y did Hermione have to go for Harry?... *sniff sniff* *whipes tear away* I liked it w/ Draco instead! .~ ~heh~ i'm a huge fan of hermione/draco fics. Have you ever heard of a fanfic called 'The Draco Tear Jerker' If you haven't, e-mail me ( ) and I'll send it 2 u. It's really sad. The person hasn't loaded the full story on the site, but it was on the boards under books so i read it, and it gave the site to read it. PLus a friend of mine hd printed it out a while ago and i read it then, too. i TOTALLY recomend it! .~ opps... i was rambling! SORRY!
| RedMoonChick chapter 1 . 9/18/2003
Hey, I know I'm reviewing this from chapter 1 and I've read it already, but when i noticed that you only had 66 reviews for this amazing story I've decided to help.
| A.J.D'Angelo chapter 1 . 9/10/2003