Reviews for Raven |
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Serious Reader chapter 3 . 11/7 A bit cringy that Harry almost begging Fury to give him some adventures. Mb you focused on it too much. Imho better make Harry need to take part in s.h.i.e.l.d. by some situation |
Guest chapter 9 . 11/1 imma just pretend he didn't have an outfit change bc it might just be the way i imagined the new one but it seemed kinda like a downgrade to my imagination |
Guest chapter 13 . 10/20 Well, other than your inability to diverge from the original plot, which frankly shows your inadequacy as a fanfic writer, your understanding of magic in the HP universe is frankly abysmal. You have limited old Harry to knowledge up to year 4, forgotten about entire branches of magic, neglected his own self improvement in magic over at least 70 years, possibly much, much longer, you make him fight like he was still 14, ignore his hones reflexes, i mean honestly, just make your own character at this point. You have butchered Harry Potter’s character, neglected the character history you yourself added, and frankly posted this work that is just filled with holes and flaws. |
Guest chapter 6 . 10/20 You speak of him being incapable of handling things better, but to be frank, he did nothing. Lets summarise: Protego. Some kind of flying ability. Teleportation. Animagus abilities. A few banashing charms. And a single cutting charm. Now lets look at his education: Several years of hogwarts education which included extensive coverage of charms suck as lumos maxima which could be used, slipping charms, sticking charms, summoning charms. Transfiguration. I need not go into detail about all the possibilities. DADA, disarming spells, blasting curses, and thats just the few i can think of that would be under this subject. And thats not going into literally everything he knows from the elder wand. You literally have harry acting like a first year against the troll here, and regardless of how you want the progression to go, you handled this poorly. If you dont want him to be overpowered, then dont make him a harry who is master of death worh additional benefits, someone who fought in WWII, and whatever else he has been through. This should have been a walk in the park, and you gave him ABSOLUTELY NO REASON not to go ham and use everything at his disposal. If you are going to write a fic using someone like harry, then learn what he is actually capable of first instead of making him a moron who stands still and only uses basic attacks despite having a repertoire of thousands of spells. |
ironspike68 chapter 54 . 10/12 Fantastic crossover! Loved how you maintained the overall story arc while bringing the ending about in a different way. Perfect way to bring in that cameo as well as end the story. Spike |
oldpotato chapter 14 . 10/4 My opinion on your AN is that in any insert-into-another-franchise story, you essentially have two routes. 1. The MC doesn't change much, so the appeal of the story is moreso focused on the relationships and interactions with the humans. It's a perfectly fine story, and so far that's what this story feels like. 2. The MC is moreso focused on changing events, and that's what Avengers: Battlefield is like with Morgan and the whole UN scandal. Either way is perfectly fine, so just write whatever appeals to yourself. However, I do have a complaint. You have MOD Harry Potter, and you've limited him to a curse/jinx junky with a side of runes. There's so much amazing magic from Harry Potter that you could reference, such as battle transfiguration, elemental magic, ritualistic magic, etc. But your Harry is more of a 5th year Hogwarts student who took Runes instead of Divination instead of the Master of Death in terms of magic. Additionally, the losing soul from MOD requires some more explanation too. If you're completely changing that part of canon, then fine, but it should still be explained, as we literally have the concept of losing your soul explained pretty well in canon HP (dementor's kiss). |
SapphireKageKyuura chapter 12 . 9/15 The one person you can't trust is Alexander Pierce. The one that sits on the council. He's Hydra, he's the kind of man you want dead. Because all he knows how to do is ruin people's lives. |
SapphireKageKyuura chapter 6 . 9/13 No, what death is doing is making his master stronger rather than coming to take Harry's soul like he should have done the moment he died the first time in the final battle with Voldemort. Death doesn't want to take Harry's soul, Harry is death's companion. If he took Harry's soul, he wouldn't have a companion for all eternity now would he? |
SapphireKageKyuura chapter 5 . 9/13 Is Harry remembering his time with Steve when he joined the army - I think if Harry had taken the super soldier serum, there would be a 50% chance that it would alter him, Harry might have a good heart, but he's far from being a completely good man. He's killed hundreds of people when he fought in the second wizarding war. And he killed people when he was running from his government. So the serum would likely to buff him up like Steve did when he took the serum, or it will alter his looks like Schmitt who became known as the Red Skull. Because his entire face was red, and looked like a skull rather than a face with flesh. |
SapphireKageKyuura chapter 4 . 9/13 Of course Tony would ask as many questions as possible. Tony is a man of science - an inventor. He is the kind of man who wouldn't believe that magic was real. To him, everything had a explanation, even a scientific explanation. He wouldn't believe that the truth behind his shield and fire was magic. |
SapphireKageKyuura chapter 2 . 9/13 By doing this, Harry is showing that he can hack your systems, that he can steal your personal belongings without you noticing, that he can gather information by taking another's form, (he used Polyjuice Potion for this, or does the cloak also change his form into the person he wants to pretend to be?), that he can erase any information you have on him, but didn't because you honestly don't have that much information on him which is laughable since shield is rumoured to be the best spy agency in the world. But Harry is always 5-10 steps ahead of you and at least 50 to 100 times better than your agents at everything. I bet he's also a better shot and never misses his targets and could beat Hawkeye even. I bet he'd even beat Tony Stark at some things too since he's been alive a long time - he likely hoards knowledge and soaks it up like a sponge. |
lastgodofwar chapter 9 . 9/6 its slight "boxing" around the edges. boxing is when the edges are flattened and not as sharp as they were when they were minted. |
PhoenixDK1984 chapter 32 . 8/31 It is not a weakness to kill yourself. It is not as easy as it sounds. It takes strength to succeed in killing yourself, but even more strength to keep on living if you fail. |
Guest chapter 6 . 8/23 You didn’t justify your self you made your self look like a fucking dumb ass you stupid bitch if he’s so old he can’t remember he would fucking be better you stupid bitch |
Guest chapter 6 . 8/23 This is sad you made a man in a suit be able to hurt him what a fucking joke of a story |