First and biggest problem shirou would simply summon rulebreaker and break the slave contract
2nd shirou isnt a racoon hes a lone wolf or perhaps a fierce tiger

Thank you for your hardwork. this is good story,

Those status effect bottles are a great idea. Is there a poison bottle, or maybe one that acts like a bomb? And why hasn't he toss these things into his shield?

It's not bad as a start, it will be interesting to read but I have to ask.. you know that Shirou have Caster's Noble Phantasm Break Ruler right? He can cancel the slave seal when he wants so.. why didn't he?

Dude more come on

Solo dos preguntas: ¿Shirou es un niño de doce años? o ¿Es un adulto vuelto niño?
Si es el primero, va terminar siendo un mejor héroe, que su contraparte original, si el segundo, estás desperdiciando el personaje mucho.

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Just two questions: Is Shirou a twelve year old boy? o Is it an adult turned child?
If it is the first, it will end up being a better hero, than its original counterpart, if the second, you are wasting the character a lot.

Excuse my bad grammar. English is not my native language.

You really should feel bad for writing this story. Shriou is basically just a useless character with no momentum added to the story. This isn't even the shirou from the grail war.
What a useless fix.

I have got to say that I m loving the story so far but I feel like Shirou needs more presence in this story. Like both RantingBanshee and Toasty Kit have said, Shirou does not have enough of a presence in this story at all. He is not making it really any different. Maybe you could have Shirou do something during the duel to display his suicidal tendency to Naofumi. Also when they are getting Filo as an egg they could also get a second mount for Shirou. And if that is the case maybe a basilisk that turns into rider Medusa? Just a suggestion that I think could give a few laughs with Rider's teasing and Shirou being... well Shirou.

Yes an update! Thank you for your hard work and I hope the next chapter won't be too far.

[Sigh] I know I have made a review here before stating my criticism but I think I need to reinforce why this story doesn't seem realistic.

Shirou is too compliant, meek and doesn't bring any presence to the story. He was raised in a society where slavery was abolished so to suddenly jump into another world and turn into a slave would have normally incurred the wraith of any modern day individual used to have their freedom and individuality. Shirou suddenly accepting that he is a slave is not realistic...at all.

My second criticism is that Shirou literally has no excuse not to TELL Naofumi that he also comes from another world (isekai'd) knowing full well that Naofumi was isekai'd as well. If Naofumi realized that he had a modern day individual from a world similar to his as a slave...he would absolutely be horrified. The demi-humans in this world present a token perseption that slavery can be accepted to Naofumi so long as he doesn't abuse his demi-human slave...but Shirou was a human who came from a world like his, yanked into this one. That perception does not translate the same way as it does Raphtalia. Naofumi would be horrified and disgusted that he had Shirou has a slave. That's why there is literally no excuse for why Shirou hasn't already told Naofumi where he comes from. NO EXCUSE.

My last criticism is that Shirou like Tasty Kit said, does not have enough of a presence in this story at all. He is not making anything about this story different then if it had only just been Naofumi and Raphtalia themselves like in canon. His magic is far more powerful in that he can create sword constructs and noble phantasms which would be a game changer in a world like this one. Like Toasty Kit said, this story is a bit too "safe" for my liking.

My one criticism about this story is that Shirou doesn't have enough of a presence in it at all. Its borderline just like reading vanilla Shield Hero only with Shirou in the wings. I'd reccomend incorporating more opportunities for Shirou's existence to deviate the canon more so that the story feels less of a rehash of what we've already seen. A missed opportunity in my mind was during the first wave after Shirou had witnessed the Holy Spear; would have been a great place to have him trace it out of desperation, maybe even have Naofumi feel a dip in his magic similar to the way a Master/Servant contract functions as a way to rationalize his ability to pull it off despite Shirou only having access to his false magical circuit in the mean time. Otherwise, the story is okay, just a bit too "safe" for my liking so far.

Honestly, I think that 3 heroes decision to go for the source from start is a right one. They abandoned village? Maybe. But if they waste too much time then the whole country will be overran.

Great chapter! I really got caught up in the fighting. Can't wait to read more.

Always a fun read, I can't wait to see how this goes since they have such an increase of skills and damage output

Alright this is just tiring can You bloody well keep to one spelling.

Aka exchange all Noafumi with Naofumi.