I do enjoy this take on Shirou in this world. keep it up my dude

more please

Octopath traveler cameo for the win! I sort of wished he joined but an appearance is great. The overall story was a pleasant read and I am curious towards how things develop with Naofumi having a dedicated attacker with Shirou and Raphtalia together.

Honestly i'm surprised he hasn't tried putting some of Shirou's hair into the shield, might end up with something like 'Sword shield' or 'bladed shield' and gain a way to attack.

Though i'm kind of surprised Shirou hasn't suggested the incredibly simple step of finding a shield with a spike or blade attached (or getting one forged) so that Naofumi has a way to attack. He might be a child but that should also let him spot the obvious solutions.

Honestly I'm mostly liking this story, but the way Shirou is warming up to Naofumi is very forced. I understand that it's for plot purposes and all, but he's still ordering them around and treating them like slaves regardless of whether he's treating them 'well' or not. Admittedly there's not anything I can think of to really fix this so it may very well just be necessary for the plot you want, but I still think it deserved to be mentioned.

The concept for this story is actually really interesting, I wonder how amazed Naofumi is going to be when he sees Shirou start getting serious.

SentinalSlice

Yeah I know, that's why this story doesn't make sense. Shirou was born and raised in the 21st century from a society that outlawed slavery and he has no mental conditioning and way more independence than the demi-humans children from this world.

By all rights, Shirou should be rebelling every chance he gets with Naofumi even if Naofumi is a "kind" master. If I had been yanked to another world as a slave, I would be bad-mouthing my "master", spitting at him, giving him the finger, and demanding to be free of the slave crest because a "citizen of Japan should not be enslaved even if I am in another world". Nothing like saying you're a citizen from Japan, gets the shock value reaching sky-levels and getting Naofumi to undo the slave crest fast as possible like dropping a hot scorching frying pan. Why won't Shirou just tell Naofumi he is from another world?

Instead, it's like this Shirou is like a listless doll, obedient and compliant like the flick of a switch. Also, this version of Shirou is barely using Nasuverse magecraft which is a mistake because he is doing the same thing he did before when he was growing up in his homeworld by not channeling and activating his magic circuits which caused them to atrophy and degrade until he became a third rate magus. He is a 12 year old kid so he still has an opportunity to prevent his magic circuits from degrading but he's barely even using his Nasuverse magecraft in this story...and at this rate his magic will atrophy probably even worse than his canon counterpart in the anime shows.

Lastly, this story is confusing to readers because is this focus on Shirou or Naofumi? Every chapter it looks like you're intentionally making Shirou more and more irrelevant as the story progresses. Since this is a crossover and it's about Shirou, the story should be from his perspective. How confusing.

I do enjoy this, but I think you should focus on Shirou's POV because it's like what's the point of him if you're not going to use him. He gets completely blindsided, which is a real waste.

i like the story but iam confused how your gonna unlock Shirō magic circuits because it a different magic system all together and does he still have Avalon because he in a new body but still carried magic circuits

Great chapter

Anyone notice the octopath travallers thing its a nice little surprise and i hope we get to see more of them and maybe have the 8 be freinds or acquintances with naofumi

A non-op, clueless Shirou is a refreshing change of pace in a deluge of Fate fics that paint him as something little better than a Gary Stu with UBW on speed-dial. This is a great story so far!

Hmmmmm yah good nice

mas cap

I am curious about the other two headed black dog shields, Naofumi nows dismantle the bodies so he must have many different dog based powers from that corpse